21

"So, you hone your powers by concentrating on what you want most," Kagome explained as she and Satomi rode Ah-Un together above the forest. Kohaku and Rin rode Kilala while Inu-Yasha and Sesshomaru managed on their own just fine. "For example, if I wish to purify an area, I imagine in spreading slowly and deliberately. If I wish to damage something, I imagine striking them hard and fast. If that makes sense."

"Oh, I get it! With the women I just imagined lifting their pain from the ground and helping them ascend to the sky. That kind of thing. As opposed to just letting it control me like it did in the forest," Satomi said understanding little by little more of her purifying powers. Kagome wouldn't be able to help with the goddess part but homing in the purification would help especially since they were working with a couple of demons.

"Exactly! I must say you are fun to teach because you pretty much already have it, just a few tweaks and you'll be a pro," Kagome said excitedly as she smiled ear to ear.

"Well, I wouldn't say pro, but how embarrassing would it be if I couldn't even do basic purification and I call myself a goddess," Satomi admitted as Kagome shook her head and they booth laughed. The way the trip was now, they would be at the mountain base by morning.

Nightfall was coming over the sky as the purple sunset faded into dark. The stars shone so bright and in glittering clusters, it felt like a dream to Satomi. The night she woke up from her stone sleep was similar in clarity. Taking in a deep breath, she looked up until her neck felt stiff. Looking down again, she noticed Sesshomaru's head turning away from her. He always seemed to be glancing at her inconspicuously now. Part of her wondered if he was still upset with her about making him rest. The other was a little less curious and more ravenous.

Sighing, she was looking down when she saw a source of steam. Narrowing her eyes, it was difficult to see but she pulled Ah-Un to go that direction. The rest followed, although Inu-Yasha voiced his annoyance grumbling in the back. Landing in a small clearing, it was perfect for camping. The mountain wasn't going anywhere and they were all tired, even more from their experience at the beginning of the forest.

"Why did we stop?" Inu-Yasha asked irritated and Sesshomaru also gave an unapproving look.

"Well, the mountain isn't going anywhere. We need an actual relaxing moment in this quest to win a war. I thought I saw some steam from a hot springs and the humans need rest," Satomi said looking at Kagome and Rin who was obviously ready for sleep.

"Hot springs?! Consider me sold," Kagome said as she put her hand on her lower back. Inu-Yasha instantly dropped his guard on the matter. Kagome was bearing his child, if she wanted rest, she would have it. This was already pushing her further than they all wanted.

"Only to rest," Sesshomaru said narrowing his eyes as he went and walked off out of the clearing.

Kohaku helped Rin off of Kilala and moved some logs for some seating around a place for a fire. Sesshomaru came forward with a couple of logs as Inu-Yasha vowed to grab even more. Kilala breathed fire and they were set for the evening with a fire.

"So… you said hot springs?" Kagome asked as Satomi smiled.

"I saw the steam just north of here," Satomi said as Inu-Yasha stood up.

"I'll go make sure it's safe," he said as he jumped to the other side of the clearing. Satomi couldn't help but admire his resolve to take care of his human wife.

"He wasn't always like this," Kagome said with a small laugh. Rin and Kohaku were just chatting on the other side of the fire not paying attention. "He was more brash years ago when we were younger. In ways he hasn't changed, but in many ways he did. I think it's the whole being a father situation."

"I can see where that would change someone. It's a huge deal to raise a little person in these dangerous times," Satomi said as she looked over to Rin. "For being a half demon, he understands more than you'd think. But then I suppose he would understand more than most on both sides. Sesshomaru just… he tries in a way, but he is still arrogant."

"THAT hasn't changed," Kagome said with a laugh. "He will come around. Both Inu-Yasha and I agree that he has changed already from just being around you."

Satomi thought about her words as they waited for Inu-Yasha to return. Kagome stretched out, her body already feeling the strains of early pregnancy. Satomi thought about if her and Sesshomaru were to ever be parents once more. But without knowing how he truly felt it wouldn't matter in any case. Their situation didn't warrant the thought, but yet deep down she could picture a small life together. The brutal reminder that perhaps she did want more than to save the world from Jiro. To be with him. Was that love? No, she didn't have time to think of the word and it's implications. Sighing, she saw Inu-Yasha emerge.

"Everything looks good, it's only a short walk," he announced as Rin jumped up for joy. Kagome made her way to stand up and Satomi looked around for the demon lord that resided in her mind and found nothing. Probably keeping watch a short distance away. Stubborn demon.

As the ladies made their way towards the hot springs, Satomi's mind kept wandering to the dog demon lord. With so much at stake with this war, it did her no good to think of the future with him in it. For she would not be in his. Not in this life time. Or perhaps maybe never. The thought made her think of it more, however and this relaxing bath time was turning into a rather dull affair.

Hearing Rin gasp as she stepped into the water, she was snapped out of her depressed trance as she saw Kagome and Rin look at her with worry. No doubt they noticed her mood, it wasn't like she was even trying to hide it. Honestly, she had no idea how.

"Satomi?" Kagome asked worried with a small frown on her face.

"Sorry, I'm fine. Just thinking about things is all," she said undressing herself as the other two had already done. The cool air felt brisk against her body as small goose bumps flooded her exposed skin. The contrast between the water and the air made her suck in a breath as she lowered herself in.

"You're in love with Sesshomaru, aren't you?" Rin asked as soon as Satomi was submerged to her shoulders. Her question was genuine as Satomi gasped and turned nine shades of red darker. "You're thinking about him, aren't you? You and him always protect each other although the other really probably doesn't need it. I can tell he doesn't think of you how he does other people or demons. So doesn't that mean you love each other?"

"I think love is out of the rice field on this one," Satomi said trying to escape the conversation as she grumbled. "We have an admiration, but I don't think it's what you think it means, Rin. It's complicated. He hates humans for the most part, and I am human. Despite all the goddess power, I am still human. I am here to protect you, and that is what we agree on. The other moments, when I am a goddess… I could turn against him and he would be no more. Until I can control myself, I'll always be what he hates and what he should fear as a demon. However… he has no fear."

That was what made him complicated. He didn't fear her as a demon should. Perhaps that was what made him want her in the physical sense. Power, control, and defeating a mortal enemy. Demons were weird. However, that wasn't the idea she had when he would touch her body when she was his to control. He was always patient and kind to her when they fulfilled their physical needs. While he could be crude, he always seemed to have her best interests at heart. Hers and Rin's.

"Well, I think you should both just get married already," Rin said as if that was the end of the conversation as she huffed and then smiled.

"I don't think he's the marrying type, little one," Satomi said with a small laugh as Kagome gave her a sympathetic look.

"I didn't think Inu-Yasha would be either. Give him time, you never know what might happen," Kagome said trying to make light of a dark thought in Satomi's mind.

Satomi didn't respond, just smiled sadly as she looked up beyond the tree leaves to the glittering night sky. Inu-Yasha, for Kagome's case, was half human. He probably had a call to the human tradition in a sense. Sesshomaru didn't care for the traditions of man. Hell, he hardly seemed to care for his own demon traditions having been traveling for so long on his own. Either way, it looked like it would be hopeless to think of it. Either way, her life would be shorter than intended. A long human life was a blink in demon years. His legacy would be built long after her and her sister's death. Perhaps Rin's descendants would one day see it.

The scene from her vision raced into her mind as she remained quiet as Kagome and Rin chattered in the background. Her reflection looked like herself, just strange clothes and many other strange looking people. Was it truly her, or a reincarnation of herself? What was the presence she felt in this vision? Was it Sesshomaru or something far worse looking to attack her? Whatever it was, it proved the future would be as unsafe as this moment. Threats would never die, they evolved along with everything else.

Sighing, she lost track of time as she looked over to see Kagome looking to get out. Rin close behind her. "Feel free to stay. I was just starting to get wrinkly on my finger tips and I'm starving," Kagome said as Rin nodded also hungry as she rubbed her stomach that gave out a loud growl.

"I'll be with you shortly. Just going to take a few moments," Satomi said as the two dressed and walked away. "What's the matter with me?" she whispered to herself and the wind.

"Why do you sigh so?"

Jumping from the voice, she found herself only waist deep and covering herself. Sighing from relief when she saw it was Sesshomaru, she wanted to knock him upside that pretty face of his.

"It's been a long few days, okay," she said looking away as she kept herself covered. "And your wounds… are you?"

"Obviously healed," he said not even letting a breath slip in between his and her words. "No thanks to you putting me to sleep. How did you?"

He was now on the side of the hot springs looking at her intently. Her face returned to nine shades darker as she sunk lower into the water after the wind and his proximity made every inch of her aware of her state of undress. "You would have done something you shouldn't have, and I just did without thinking or knowing I could do. You took on all that pain from me… because I wasn't aware."

"I could handle it, I am more powerful than you give me credit for. You have a purpose, and I wasn't about to let you die for anything less," he said without raising his voice and yet she could tell he was irritated. "Look at me."

Her shoulders jumped as she realized she was tearing up. Did he just keep her around for that purpose of protecting Rin or was there more? So many questions she dared not ask, and yet they choked her now. Slowly turning around, she looked at the ground at his feet. His gaze she could feel as it commanded her to look up without him saying a word. Her face obeyed his request as she felt her body relax. Sesshomaru would never harm her, she knew that. Her hands fell into the water as he stared at her with a mix of emotions, unable to translate even one she gazed back.

"Do you fear me?" he asked as he saw her eyes brimming with tears.

"No. Not you, just the uncertainty of you. I never know what you're thinking, and it kills me because I want to know. I want to know you, the real you underneath the demon lord face you put on every day. What you're like so I can understand you." There it was. A tip of the problem chipped off the top like a rock from a mountain.

"You are a strange one. I heard you speak of love earlier. Rin more so. Do you know what that is?"

The question stabbed her like a knife. "That's a rather off putting question."

"I ask because I do not know it in the context as you do. Love for demons is rare because we live for as long as we do. Staying with someone for eternity would be a literal time for us. Thus it is a different concept than it is for humans. We may love someone, but we understand it is truly not an eternal thing." Sesshomaru looked so serious when he spoke of the matter.

"You were listening?" Satomi asked now glaring slightly at him.

"I was already in the area, I thought you knew I was here," he said as if wondering about her sudden displeasure of the conversation.

"No, I did not. Can't have a female conversation with anyone privately," she said now agitated trying to keep her emotions in check.

He didn't respond, he just stared at her which she felt even with her eyes closed and rubbing her temples by the line of her hair. Sighing in frustration, it was impossible to be mad at him. He was so experienced with battle and fighting that he didn't tune into his social skills or emotions all through his life. Looking up at him, he seemed to be transfixed on her body now. Forgetting his spying earlier, which he probably did without even giving it a second thought for just about anything in his life.

Walking up to the edge, she placed her arms on the bank and he lowered himself down on a knee. His gaze met hers and they stayed like that a moment, neither moving as the sounds of the forest and the distant talk and laughs echoed around them from their companions.

"You know, I don't know what we have. But given what may happen, I just…" Satomi started as he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. Letting out a breath she didn't even know she kept in out through her nose, she leaned into his kiss and felt his hand weave through her hair. He felt the same, at least in some context. Not knowing what to call it and yet there they were.

"Rin seemed quite keen on marriage. Is that when the humans mate for life?" he asked as if trying to remember the term as their lips parted. He really could be dense.

"Your half brother got married to Kagome, and you don't know the term?" she asked as her head hit her arm with a fleshy thud. "Not surprising, but yes, that is the idea. To pledge yourself to one another so that you are claimed to the other person, I suppose on a shortened description. But I just figured you weren't the marrying type anyway."

"You aren't wrong. I never wished to 'pledge myself' to anyone. I belong to no one. However, my clan is quite possessive. Hence why Inu-Yasha couldn't give up Kikyo until her end, and why he has dedicated his life to the priestess. My father to his human woman, and so on and so forth. Wouldn't that be considered marriage on your terms?" he asked as he did seem to try to understand where she was coming from.

Given her definition, she couldn't say he was wrong. Shaking her head, she reached up to his face with her palm. He buried his nose into her wrist and just breathed her in. There was an intimacy she felt like never before with him. They were actually trying to find a common thread here and she was almost shocked by it. "Well, I suppose you are right at least a little," she said as he looked at her confused. "There's more to it, but yes, I suppose in your eyes that would be considered a marriage in human terms."

He had closed his eyes as he breathed in her scent and she just smiled. Well, that looked to be all she was getting out of him. That was enough for now. He opened up if ever so slightly, but she was curious why he paid attention to those words more than the rest of them. Perhaps maybe because of Rin, but she decided she would just have to let that one go.

"I should go back. Otherwise I may melt in here if I stay much longer," she said as he opened his eyes and almost growled. Apparently, he was enjoying himself. Ignoring his growl, she stood up and didn't even care she was naked walking past him as she put on her kimono.

"You remind me of back then," he said quietly, and she looked at him curiously before picking up her yukata to put it on. "When I first saw you exposed at the springs at my estate. You were beautiful then too." As she whipped herself to look back at him as she put her arms through her sleeves, he was already gone. Her face flushed as she walked back to the camp site, he was no where to be seen of course as she was offered fish from the stream.

One by one, they all fell asleep, but her heart beat kept pounding in her chest. He did remember then, and he wasn't a complete prude. Back then, it was like he was too good for her. Now, he made it feel that he wasn't good enough. The thought made her heart ache, but she knew it wasn't true. He was honorable and true which was rare.

Feeling a presence behind her, she turned to see him standing as he glanced down at her. Turning and sitting, he was quiet as she extended her hand forward to his that rest on the ground. He didn't refuse her touch as she wrapped her fingers around his. Smiling as she closed her eyes, she could feel his hand take hers as she lost herself into the darkness.