Chapter 142

I was doing my best to control my emotions but I felt like I was suffocating and dying inside. My lungs were struggling to find air and I couldn't look at Raph. His voice was enough to make my heart clench painfully.

I betrayed him. I could never had told him, but I still regretted it more than anything I've ever regretted.

"You could've just mind linked me and no one would've known." He said angrily.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "They would've known. He would've figured it out. And you would have died. Please tell me you wouldn't have made me do that."

I watched him carefully, I knew he was angry. I knew that he was hurt. But I desperately hoped that he didn't hate me. I knew that for me the deepest hurt was betrayal.

His face collapsed and gave way to a softer expression, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, "I told you why! Do you know how hard it was to not tell you what was suffocating me, why I was having nightmares, why I- would you have wanted me to die just because I asked what was bothering you? Would you have wanted to risk that? I didn't! I can't imagine what- how I could possibly live without you!"

I got up and shoved his hand off my arm then stormed down the stairs.

My chest was being weighed down with pain and guilt. 'I shouldn't be feeling guilty.' I told myself, 'I kept him alive.'

I wanted to slump on the floor and cry, but it would be so cold. I wanted Raph's arms around me. I wanted him to hold me to keep me warm when I was feeling so cold and dead inside.

I sensed Thresh coming down and I looked up, I noticed that my vision was blurring with tears and I quickly wiped them away.

Thresh appeared and next to him Charm.

"Where is she?" He asked.

I knew who he was referring to. The crazy girl, Amelia.

I swallowed, "Downstairs in the pool room." He nodded and headed off in that direction.

"Be careful, she's a little crazy." I called after him.

A few seconds passed and I eventually looked up at Charm. Her green eyes were sympathetic. She walked next to me and said, "How about we go to my house, and have some tea."

I nodded and mouthed the words, "Okay."

I took one last glance upstairs and could hear voices.

I blinked a few more tears away and then went with Charm.

~~~~~~~~

"Man, you have to understand, try to see it from her eyes. She was scared. I think she did the right thing." Thomas stated.

Raph looked up at him, his eyes smouldering, "You think-? If she had just-"

"No, you still don't get it! Like she said, would you have risked it? Would you have risked having your mate killed because of you?" Thomas rose, "You know what, I know you do better thinking on your own, I'll just leave you be." And with that he turned and walked down the stairs.

Raphael was just sitting in silence. His wolf had returned the day before he'd gotten that really bad fever and it had nearly driven him mad. It wanted to take their mate again, and Raph was all for it but his body wasn't.

He closed his eyes in an attempt to calm his emotions. He could barely even understand what he was feeling. He felt like he was drowning in a deep pit of… he didn't know. He couldn't describe it, it just hurt and made his chest clench with emotion.

Guilt maybe? Anger, though he wasn't exactly sure who he was angry at, the Elf or his mate. He couldn't be angry at his mate, 'She didn't have a choice.' He reasoned for himself. He felt betrayed and it stung, deeply.

He sighed and pulled his legs up carefully and stretched them onto the couch so he could rest

But his mind refused to rest. 'Why wouldn't she have told him? It's not like he would've done anything outrageous, if she had just told via mind link he would have been able to comfort her and to tell her that it would all be okay. Why would she not trust him?' His mind changed to a different topic, 'Why is Amelia here? Why would the Elves leave her here? She had just been a hybrid who'd been raised by a Lycan for some reason?' He rubbed his eyes and groaned.

-Brooke, could you come back, please?- He asked, not even sure if she'd heard him.

~~~~~~~~~

Charm sat me down in the main living room and then said that she would get some tea. I said that I was fine and would just have water.

I sat, trying my best not to think and instead decided that I make a list. I needed to go home and talk to him. I needed to figure out who and what Amelia was.

Speaking of, in that moment Thresh and Thomas walked in escorting Amelia. On her face was painted that terrifying smile.

"Sit." Thresh ordered pointing to a chair.

Amelia, still smiling, made her way there and sat down with a grace that reminded me of Harley Quinn. With her yellow eyes she looked even more crazed.

Thomas sat while Thresh remained standing, "Talk." He said.

I felt a bit of frustration that my mate wasn't here, Thresh should've included him in this. I swallowed those feelings and listened to the conversation.

Amelia's smile widened, "Talk about what?"

"Why are you here?" Thomas asked.

Her smile grew impossibly wide.

"I'm your help. El-kor sent me."

Thresh growled low but Amelia's posture remained the same. I watched it all with a caution, I still felt like I shouldn't be here and Raph should. I was about to get up when Amelia levelled her eyes with mine and spoke.

"I'm sure your pet would know."