39 Something Deeper

Pain, suffering, a dull ache that enveloped his whole being starting from his chest. James's knees nearly gave out from the overwhelming emotion that so suddenly coursed through him.

He blinked and growled at the arrogant Alpha. But he was stopped short from the agonized scream. He looked down at his feet and saw the human on the floor. Her body was shaking as she clutched his ankle.

"James. I can't move. I can't feel anything. James." Her voice was frantic and small. His heart stuttered. He couldn't believe that she'd said that… said his name. He bent down and picked her up.

He glanced at the sick Alpha, the Lycan was staring at him with his unnerving eyes.

What had he done? What had those emotions been? They were similar to his own whenever he was reminded of Lilla, or past failures. But those feelings had not been his own; they'd been more severe, more desperate.

He walked up the wooden stairs following the Alpha's instructions to the room. The human was trembling and limp as a boned fish, her eyes were still moving frantically as she sobbed quietly.

It affected him. He didn't like seeing her so tormented, his wolf wanted to hold her close and try and calm her sobs.

Coming to the top of the stairs he could feel her shaking slow down and she tried to calm her harried breathing.

James watched her for a few moments. She patted his arm and he knew that she wanted down. Placing her feet on the floor, he waited till she was steady to release her shoulders. His wolf was anxious as she walked carefully down the hallway.

Just as her hand reached the door handle of the room, the Alpha's voice echoed down the hall.

"You still haven't told me."

The human stopped and her back straightened. She released a breath, "And you still don't want to know."

"Oh? Don't underestimate me, Brooke. Why couldn't you walk? Some old injury not fully healed, perhaps? Tell me." He whispered the last words but James could sense that she'd caught it.

Her breathing and heart rate were both fast, but not dangerously so.

"You wanna know why I shake? Why I can't move?" She asked, her voice small and shaking. James watched as she turned to face the Alpha, her head lowered, "You want me to tell you?"

'No.' James answered. He didn't want to know. He… knew it would be horrific, he'd seen the scars on her body, the claw marks. He remembered seeing her injured body when he rescued her, the blood and the wounds. He didn't want to hear what she'd been through.

"Fine… I'll tell you." She whispered, "My hands shake because when they'd got sick and tired of the psychological torture, they thought physical torture would break me." Her eyes were like glass, hollow but one fracture could shatter them and unleash all that hid behind them.

"After showing me hallucinations and images of everyone dying… they ripped my hair out." She paused and choked out a gasp, "After showing my entire world covered in blood, my entire body d-drenched in blood, they… they would beat me. And when they realized that wasn't enough, they poisoned me; enchanted silver and something special, just for me. You're wondering how I survived all that?" She asked, her face breaking out in a worrisome smile and her fingers pulling back her elastic band to slap her wrist, "I'll tell you. They would fix me. But not heal me. Every time they tore my hand off, broke my foot, they would "fix" it." Her hands forming air quotes.

"The poison still burns through me, the silver still coats my blood. I shake, because I can't move without feeling pain."

Snap!

"And throughout the beatings, the cutting, the electrocuting, the nightmares, they broke my body, they broke my mind…"

She was breathing heavily now and he could hear her wheezing. Another snap resounded through the air.

"The breathing?" She asked, still holding the Alpha's gaze which James could now see was questioning her condition, "You're wondering about the breathing? Well, he didn't want to beat and bruise me himself, so he had a Shapeshifter do it. He broke every single one of my ribs, my legs, my spine. I can't walk some days, I can't even breathe. The ribs ache, they punctured my lungs. I choked on my own blood only to awake to the same living nightmare. So yes… I have nightmares, I can't focus, I need to slap a hair elastic on my wrist." Snap! "I came here for a reason, not to talk about me. But for a reason..." Her voice shook and her chest heaved.

He could see a fracture forming in her dark eyes.

"What else happened?" The insufferable Alpha asked. James wanted to shove him into a wall.

'Leave her alone!' His wolf growled, the low sound puttering from his throat.

The human made no indication she heard his growl, but the Alpha raised a brow looking in his direction.

"After all of it…" She whispered hoarsely, "He killed my mate."

James's head snapped to look at her, the growl cut short. His shoulders heaved with… empathy. He understood the loss of a mate. This was the first time he heard her speak of Beta.

"No. That's not it." The Alpha said. James watched him with a burning anger, his own chest now heaving. "There's something more, something deeper." He pushed, his blue eyes narrowing.

Her heart skipped a beat at his words and he looked at her, wondering himself what it was.

She swallowed, her hands shaking too hard to reach her elastic, "He killed my baby."

She rushed into the room on shaking legs but James hardly noticed. She'd lost… her mate… her child… herself. And he'd done nothing but make it worse.

He looked up hearing footsteps and saw the Alpha walking away. His fists and jaw clenched in anger and his wolf snarled, wanting to shift and attack the Alpha.

"How could you do that?" He asked, his voice edged with a growl.

The man stopped and turned on his heel, his feet slowly mapping their way towards him.

"How could I do what? Get her to talk? Trust me, it was the best thing for both of you." He said in a supercilious tone.

He snarled, feeling his claws extend and hair begin to sprout, "She relives that everyday. Why make her explain all of it now?" He asked, trying to get control of himself, partly; he wanted to tear the man apart.

The Alpha took three slow steps so that he was but a foot away from James, raising his black haired head he stared at the Gamma cooly.

"What I've just started for you, is the healing process. Don't question me on the ways of the mind." He warned, his tone as hard as his eyes.

James clenched his fists so hard they cracked, his claws digging into his skin.

The Alpha rolled his eyes and turned back around, "You'll thank me later."

Letting his wolf control his actions his fist flew forward, aiming for the Alpha's head. He gasped in shock when the Alpha caught his wrist and punched him in the face.

James winced and clutched his nose, leaning against the wall.

The Alpha scoffed, "Don't think that you could lay a finger on me. Not even Thresh can." The Alpha walked away and down the stairs.

James frowned, his pride wounded. He walked to the room where he and the human were to stay and blinked when he saw there was only one bed, which the human was already tucked inside of, and no couches or carpet.

He thought about sleeping in his wolf form, but he felt it was too risky shifting at the moment. His wolf was still bristling with anger.

He huffed a sigh and walked to the bed. His hands were already healing, as was his nose. He took his shirt off, the room was heated and warmer than he was used to, and he usually slept shirtless. He crawled into the bed. Ignoring the fact that the human was already sleeping beneath the covers.

She'd lost her child. Her baby. He closed his eyes, feeling a new guilt piled atop the old guilt.

He opened them when he felt something touch his cheek. Looking out of the side of his eye he saw she was watching him curiously. She drew back her fingers from his cheek and hid them beneath the covers, then closed her eyes.

His brows drew together at what had just happened. That was uncharacteristic. He blinked when he realized that his wolf had calmed down. He shrugged remembering Beta's words, his wolf wanted to protect her. He was happy that she was safe and sleeping.

Looking back up at the ceiling he saw Lilla. His heart grew bitter, he felt miserable. Closing his eyes he ran from nightmare to nightmare, death and despair following him through his dreams.