Chapter Eleven

Stella walked into Joy's hospital room cautiously. She didn't want to wake her up. She walked up to her and sat by her bedside and looked at her daughter lying there helplessly. If there exists anyone so strong and a fighter, it was her little girl. She had shown her strength over the years in the face of calamity and had outdone it. She was a survivor and she always came back stronger than ever. Now lying there was something new to her. What happened to her was definitely beyond her limits. She felt her pain. Her heart was broken to pieces for her sake.

A tear fell from her cheek and landed on Joy's recuperating wrist and she stirred before opening her eyes.

"Mom!" she whispered when she noticed her.

"Child!" her mother responded.

Mother and daughter sobbed painfully in each other's arms. Tension and fright completely forgotten.

"Am so sorry mom, I have let you and everyone else down. It's my fault. Am a million times sorry mom," Joy was the first one to speak after minutes of breaking down.

"No child, it was not your fault. Dr. Reyes has explained everything to me and I understand you perfectly." Stella soothed her daughter who occasionally heaved as she let her tears fall freely from her already tired eyes.

"I can't do this mom. I am not strong enough to endure it. It will kill me from both inside and outside. I can't survive this," she confessed.

"What do you mean child?" she asked confused

"The baby mom. I am carrying a child whose father is a monster. A child whose origin is unknown. A child born out of violation mom. Am carrying a little beast inside of me," she bitterly explained as she looked at her mother straight in the eye.

"Oh come on girl! How can you decide the destiny of your own flesh and blood before it even gets a chance to breathe?" Stella rebuked her daughter almost angrily.

"But mom,..." Joy began to protest but her mother wouldn't allow her to speak ill of her unborn child like that.

"Enough of buts!" she scolded her.

Joy went silent lost for words to defend herself with.

"Think of it this way my dear. This baby is also your own flesh and blood. And he or she may take your qualities. Taking after you. Kind, cheerful, thoughtful, beautiful and intelligent just like you. Would you harm such a blessing like that?" she talked some sense into her.

Joy resigned in acceptance. She didn't want to argue with her mother. She would never win.

"Tell me mom, what would you have me do at this point? What would you do if you were in my shoes?" Joy asked her mother.

Stella was taken aback. She had not expected such a question from her. She knew she would have also gotten rid of it but she also knew she would never forgive herself if her daughter died in the process or if she carried the guilt for the rest of her life. She had to give her a satisfying answer and fast since Joy was paying attention to her.

"Focus on the positivity. Tell yourself this baby will not be a beast like it's father. He or she would be as beautiful and great as its mother. Girl, you are the strongest person I know. We will get through this, together." she assured her.

"Mom, what about the people at home. What will tell them when they ask where the baby came from? Can you stand their humiliation and the gossip and all sorts of rumors that will surround this?" Joy asked her mother

"I know it will be hard, but we will get through this. I promise." Stella reassured her daughter.

"Thanks mum. I feel like a load has been lifted off." Joy said with a little smile for the first time in a long time.

Within a few weeks Joy was well and discharged from the hospital. Apparently Ivy and Vida paid her hospital bills. All this while, Joy pretended to be dumb. Inside her was a raging storm. Finding out that her housemates, people she was close to and treated as friends had set her up for what she was going through. What hurt the most was their pretense that everything was okay and normal. But according to Joy nothing was going to be normal anymore. She had started plotting her revenge. She was not going to be fooled by them. She was preparing to be their karma.

Her mother was the only person she cared about right now. Everyone else had done wrong by her. However she had promised her mum that she would keep the baby. Every day was a struggle, but she had to be good for the very last time. Anger and bitterness had awoken a demon in her that no one knew existed. Not even herself. She had been pushed too far. She had let them have it all, but that would soon be over. She was to bring a child to this world. A child she didn't want. All because of betrayal.

For the remaining days to the end of the semester and in preparation for her exams, she acted normal and buried herself in books and studying. She did not come all the way here to fail. She was going to make it work. She didn't have to struggle so much since she was brilliant and sharp in mind. She just needed to maneuver through the modules to get the content. She completely avoided conversations and nonsensical chats and focused her attention on books.

She had adapted quite well with the situations and could now manage sleep but not without a few pills to help her feel better. Ivy and Vida would just stare at her from a distance. The once lively hostel became as silent as a graveyard. For once Joy was thankful that they didn't pursue same courses. Previously she had wished they were course mates but now she didn't want anything to do with them.

Life had to go on.