4. Cold Reality

We did move around a lot after that, eventually we ended up in Seattle. After seven years in therapy together, mom and I were finally in a good place. She now had a steady job and a steady boyfriend. It took her many months into her relationship before she trusted him enough to bring him home. I am to meet him for the first time tonight, right before my move to San Francisco to attend college.

"Mom, you don't have to make so much food," I protested.

"I am not, just a few dishes," she replied as she set yet another dish on the dinner table.

I took one last glance again at the table and it looked like we were having family over for Christmas. There was chicken, three different types of vegetables and she was still making steamed fish. I sighed and walked back into the kitchen to help my mom clean up. The thing about my mom cooking is that she makes delicious restaurant style food, but she also completely destroys the kitchen in the meantime.

I put on gloves and started washing, when I was about half way into washing the wok, I heard the doorbell.

Mom went to answer the door. I could hear her greet him and he told her how amazing it smelled in the house.

I finished washing the wok and walked out wiping my hands on a towel.

His back was to me, medium height middle aged Asian man, with a receding hairline. Nothing abnormal or extraordinary.

Mom caught sight of me and turned him around and said, "Here she is, this is Caitlyn."

"Oh, very nice to meet you. I am Tony Jiang." he said while holding out his hand.

I draped the towel over my shoulder and shook his hand, "It is nice to meet you Mr. Jiang."

"Please call me Tony, " he said with a smile.

I chuckled and replied, "No, my mom will kill me if I do."

My mom was nodding behind him.

"Okay you two go on into the dining room and sit, I think the fish is ready." my mom said as she was rushing into the kitchen.

So I showed him the way and like a good host, I asked him what he would like to drink and poured it for him.

Then there was the awkward silence. We each sipped our perspective drinks and just tried not to make any eye contact.

There was beeping and it was getting louder, "Mom, turn off the timer." I yelled to her in the kitchen.

She replies, "I didn't set one."

Suddenly a shiver went through me. I felt cold and then a painful jab in my arm.

Everything went dark.

I heard a woman say, "Okay, that is good for the first session, that was about thirty minutes."

I could not understand, what was going on? I was just inside my house and about to have dinner. Where is this dark, cold place?

"She had another seizure when you started treatment?"

That was my mom's voice. "Mom." I tried to call out and I tried to open my eyes. It wasn't just my eyes, I couldn't move anything.

I heard water sloshing around and I felt things being pulled off my skin and I felt something lifted from my head. I started to panic.

Then I heard my mom again, "The doctor said that the swelling will take some time to go down and that the trauma from the car accident impacted the tumor in her head. Will this AVR treatment really help her?"

"As the doctor has explained, this treatment is new and we can't guarantee any results, but like you can see, after the initial seizure, the readings were very positive," a woman responded. "Let me completely remove all the apparatus and transport your daughter back to her room first. We can discuss more about the treatment later."

Oh, now I remember, I was in a car accident and from what I have gathered, in some sort of coma. I can't move or talk.

So all that just now, was just a dream? It felt so real, actually parts of it were real. Like Dad is my stepdad and they did meet after we moved to Seattle. But there was never a Carl and I was never abused. My real father loved me, even though I don't have many memories of him now but remember that we were a happy family, up until he died of cancer when I was nine.

I heard more people, they lifted me and placed me on a bed, "Thank you," someone said and then I heard more footsteps and the door closing. Then I felt something sweep across my body, a soft towel maybe.

There was some tugging the flipping me back and forth, I then felt warmth from the materials placed under me. I suddenly understood, the person was changing my clothes. Not knowing who was now seeing me naked, was quite embarrassing. Which led me to wonder if I couldn't even express that emotion? Would my cheeks redden or my heart rate beat faster?

Well if it did, the person changing me did not express it verbally. Soon I was warm again and it felt like I was moving, and then lifted onto another bed.

I heard my mother speak with my stepfather and then another voice, it was Nicholas.

"Good afternoon, Mr and Mrs. Jiang, " he greeted.

"Oh Nicholas, nice of you to come. You came at the right time, she just came back from treatment."

"How is she doing," he asked as I heard footsteps getting closer.

"There has been no real change, they hope the new treatment will start to lessen the amount of seizures and hopefully assist in diminishing the swelling as well so that she can have the surgery," mom stated.

I felt a hand on my face and the warmth emitted was very comforting. So comforting that I finally felt the exhaustion and once again sleep took over.