Chapter 30: Doubts of Love

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"Jungkook-ah, you have to take a shower come on." Jimin guided the male to his bedroom until Jungkook stopped near the bed. They had arrived at his apartment after the actor requested to stay with him; pretty much what he's been doing for a few weeks. Now that Jungkook was sober he wanted to follow this instinct that made his heart want to try something out. And the unknown territory of the prey became the lion's safe haven. "Jimin hyung." Upon the call of his name, the writer unbuttoning his dark green shirt hummed not having any intentions of being seductive because of his actions.

"Earlier, I said I didn't want to fuck you. Do you remember?" Jungkook took his black blazer off by sliding it off his shoulders and when his eyes were on Jimin, he let the blazer fall to the ground. "Yes, I remember. Jungkook-ah, not everything is about fucking." Jimin momentarily stopped unbuttoning his shirt and grabbed the chance for asking the question eating him up like a chocolate bar after hearing the song Jungkook sang to him.

"Jungkook, do you love me?" The writer carefully asked.

Jungkook felt a shiver run down his spine faster than a bullet. He'd been doubting his feelings, but he was sure of two things. If Min Woo taught him that love and fucking are the same, then he loves Jimin. If the love Jimin talked about was the same love his mother had for his father (or so he was told by his mother of her love for him), then Jungkook loves Park Jimin; his instinct told him. Unfortunetely, he had locked that part of himself deep down inside a pit the day his life as an eleven year old ended. But he didn't know how to unlock those feelings, just as he sang, he needed the writer to teach him; only that he was terribly traumatized.

"I love you." He answered and he was already hovering over the writer with the latter's bottom sitting on the bed's corner. "Don't question it." The closeness of their noses was gradually decreasing. Jungkook's eyes were on Jimin's. On Jungkook's chocolate rises, Jimin didn't see brown; he saw the man he had fallen in love with. The precious memories they've shared, good ones and bad ones, heated ones and cold ones, a mixture of infinite stars holding the love he felt towards the actor.

But as Jungkook stared into Jimin's dark brown irises, he saw the reflection of himself. He saw how his emotions were conflicted through the reflection of his own eyes. He couldn't understand it yet. That's why he gave in to his obsession; Jimin's lips. "Let me have you." His bottom lip clasped Jimin's upper lip between his own and when their soft mellow surface touched Jimin gave in.

"Will you fuck me?"

"No."

Liar, don't do this to him anymore.

"I will have you." Jimin was too far lost in the gaze and their subtle lips brushing against each other. He could taste the cinnamon mixed with Soju on them and even if the smell repulsed him in his state, he gave in. Jungkook's eyes closed as his head tilted to the right before his nose met the writer's cheek and the side of his nose. "Be gentle with me." The older whispered, tracing his tongue under the younger's and dabbing his lower lip over to lead their kiss.

"I'll try." Jungkook's tongue hovered over the writer's and dabbed over the wet texture to let them entangle and mix their salivas. He was enjoying the taste of fixation over the plump lips and his hands roamed to the back of Jimin's neck. The small sweat under the hairs welcomed his fingers under the heat of their moment. "Mmh~" Jimin pulled back to gather a breath and let their pants mix.

"What's your safe word Jimin-ssi?" Jungkook leaned back to trace a line with his tongue over Jimin's jawline, placing small chaste kisses over until he reached the bone connecting the jawline and neck. "I thought you weren't fucking me." Jimin's hands continued unbottoning his own shirt and let it loosely hang over his shoulders until it dropped behind him on the bed. "Answer my question Baby." The actor whispered with hot breath fanning over the heated skin. "What if I top you today? Mhm? Does- AH~" The writer stopped his sentence with a moan, leaning his head back and hissing unexpectedly when the actor bit the sensitive skin of his neck and sucked on it harder than a vacuum.

"Not today, maybe soon." Jungkook felt Jimin's hands undoing his jean's zipper and he chuckled. "First answer me, what's your safe word?" A dark red bruise formed on the skin, the mark of Jungkook's teeth was ingraved as well. "I will have my revenge on you for that." Jimin finally opened the actor's jeans and groped the semi-hard erection. The warm skin of the actor's balls felt so common against his palm and fingers, and he felt the actor lean his head against his neck when he tightened the grasp.

"My safe word is Samgyeopsal, Jungkook-ssi. Start thinking about yours for when I top you."

"I don't want to submit, how about I wear my glasses instead? I know how much those turn you on." Jungkook panted with a chuckle drawing on his wet moist lips. His hold on Jimin's neck loosened and he slowly retracted his body. "Strip while I search for my glasses." The dominant ordered, leaving him on the bed aroused with a hazy vision. "Baby, I said strip~" He winked before exiting the bedroom and heading to the counter where he last recalled he left his pair of black glasses.

"Found you."

When Jimin saw his boyfriend enter his bedroom completely naked only wearing the pair of black heart chrome glasses, his erection visibly hardened more and his heart decided to dance. "My Jimin-ssi is very obedient." Jungkook approached the bed and hovered above him, their arousals rubbed against each other when the younger grind his hips to tease him. "How much do you want me Jimin-ssi?" He heard the whisper against his ears and soon his lips were claimed once again but he wasn't going to be completely submissive. His right hand trailed the actor's right thigh until the abdomen and lastly he reached their rubbing erections.

"Jungkook-ssi," Jimin's left hand cupped Jungkook's ass feeling the stiffened muscles under the skin and at the same time he gripped the base of his boyfriend's member. His eyes never trailed away from the actor's chocolate ones staring at him through the glasses' lens and it was such a turn on for him.

"I want all of you within every inch of myself." The writer slowly pumped the base of the actor's length. The head slid inside and out his grasp between this palm and fingers with the extra skin covering it when it slid inside.

"But first, I want to taste you. Can I taste you again Jungkook-ssi?" Jimin licked his bottom lip from right to left and then he gulped. "Only if I get to do the same." Jungkook held back a moan when talking, his cheeks a shade of pink given the previous alcohol he'd drunk even if he was still sobering up.

Within the span of a few seconds Jungkook was naked lying down on the bed with Jimin's ass facing him and his length was buried down the writer's throat. "Jungkook-ssi..." The older hummed, saliva covered the pink head of the hardened length. "Jimin-ssi." The younger held onto the his thighs and didn't touch his erection, instead blemishes soon formed on his milky white skin; a perfect canvas waiting to be painted pink, purple and red.

"Ah~" The actor panted against the older's perineum and grind his hips up a big when he felt himself release a bit of pre-cum on his boyfriend's tongue.

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"Don't do that." Seokjin whispered, his voice muffled between the fabric of Namjoon's navy blue tank top with the letters WTAPS written in white bold. "Do what?" The student kept softly rubbing circles on his right ear's lobule. "Touch my earlobe like that. I can't sleep..." The professor moved his head trying to avoid the hands of his boyfriend, but the latter wasn't having it.

"We don't have to sleep now." Namjoon replied and let his hand crawl underneath the fabric of the older's light blue stripped pajamas with small white alpaca cartoon characters designed all over it on random places. The warm skin underneath his fingers was calming, and he slowly traced the curves of the flesh until his hand was pushed out and the face of his boyfriend crawled on top of him. "Namjoon-ah, I have work tomorrow. You have classes, let's sleep..." Seokjin mounted him, legs on each side of his waist and hands resting above his chest.

"Seokjin-hyung, come on... Don't be like this. Help your needy boyfriend over here." Namjoon smiled sheepishly despite his words, a trace of pink was clearly hovering over his cheeks. The professor looked at the small holes on his cheeks, the dimples were such a temptation that he needed to resist, but of course... "Alright. But don't go rough on me." he could never resist those two dimples.

"You" Namjoon sat up with him on his lap and kissed his red lips, licking the plump bottom lip was his priority. "Are" His hands trailed down to lower the professor's pants and cup his bare ass cheeks with both hands. "The" Seokjin moaned against his lips. "Best" Pants were no longer a part of both their attires. "Boyfriend" When their half aroused members came into contact, the older rolled his hips and the younger's right arm stroke his bare back from underneath the shirt. "Kim Seokjin."

"AH~" Seokjin moaned with a scrunched nose and closed eyes against their wet lips when Namjoon's left hand entered three fingers inside his completely dark pink rim. "I know- ah~" The professor replied still feeling his body opening for his boyfriend.

"And that's one of the reasons why I love you my King."

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Jimin felt exhausted the next morning. Not just physically but mentally and emotional as well. For him, he thought last night was supposed to feel special for him and Jungkook. Everything was going well, they were kissing, they gave each other sweet pleasure for a first orgasm, but something changed. He clearly remembered when Jungkook said he wouldn't fuck him.

The moment Jungkook entered him, something was unleashed again. He hoped the actor would go easy on him, to be gentle with him like he asked, but his pleads were for naught. Even if the heart chrome glasses he stared on him were making the lust and arousal increase, he couldn't feel the same. Something was definitely off. The younger's dilated eyes held something he'd seen the first time they shared intimacy, the second time, the third time and so on. And frankly, he doubted the words be heard from Jungkook because last night was extreme for him. The phrase love at first sight became a lie to him and he knew it.

He didn't understand why but his body was more sensitive than usual, and after orgasming for a second time his legs gave up on him as well as his arms. He was about to use the safe word but Jungkook received his climax before he could and their intercourse finished. Sober or not, the actor had contradicted what he said to his boyfriend and it resulted in the writer bleeding scantly from his rim for the first time.

So he stood in his bathroom now at noon, completely naked inside his bathroom after brushing his teeth. The raven haired actor was in the bedroom answering a couple of texts with anger steaming off his ears. Min Woo was texting him again and he wanted him to just fuck off. It took him by surprise when he heard the sentence mumbled by his boyfriend. And as much in control as he wished to be of his body, his conscience panicked when Min Woo called him and he accidentally pressed answer.

"Does he even love me?" Jimin mumbled while glancing at his thighs as well as his lower abdomen. His once milky white thighs were now filled with dark red spots and his lower abdomen had fading purple marks; his body ached badly yet he couldn't do anything about it.

Jungkook glanced inside the bathroom and then back at his phone, he knew he was about to break Jimin's heart by his words, but he could never hang up on a call with Min Woo (even if he still hasn't greeted the male at the other end of the line). "Jeon, I'll be waiting at your apartment tonight. You better be there and not be with that stupid wanna be boyfriend of yours. That fucking slut is getting to your min-" When he heard the words he stood up and left the phone on the bed and approached the bathroom.

"Jimin, How many times have I told you to stop questioning my affection and feelings for you?" Jungkook walked up to the older with nothing but his pitch-black underwear, his raven-orbs a mess and his toned body showed dark red spots and fading purple marks as well; Jimin had made them for him. The dominant felt proud of the masterpiece in front of him, his lover's body exposing freshly painted love bites; meaning Jimin was claimed.

"You don't really love me. You're just using my body for your own pleasure. Jungkook, be honest with me... Love at first sight doesn't exist... If it did, you wouldn't have fucked me the first day we met, you would have waited... I never wanted to be someone's sex toy, but that's all what I seem to you... aren't I?" Jimin's voice lowered to a whisper in his last sentence and soon silence engulfed the room when the older finished explaining his feelings to the younger. He waited for Jungkook to react but the raven-haired male only chuckled and parted his lips so he could wet his swollen red bottom lip with his tongue and then press his two white bunny-like teeth over it by seductively biting it with a smirk hidden behind it.

The actor was not acting like his usual self and both of them were aware of it, but Jeon couldn't stop himself. He couldn't control himself now that the alcohol in his system was gone.

"I fucked you good then didn't I?" He didn't bother to answer Jimin's question but that action alone let the older know of the younger's intentions; his heart crumbled at the not reciprocated feelings -just like a crumbled piece of paper thrown in the garbage disposal.

"I'm kidding Jimin. I love you from the way your eyes form crescents when you smile to the way you mumble incoherent words as you cry." But those sentences alone were not enough to convince Jimin of Jungkook's love for him; the older understood completely; the man he called lover was only infatuated with him and felt the strong sexual desire overcome what feelings he called love.

Now Park Jimin winced when straightening his posture and before the actor could try and help him, he raised his hand. "Stop. You've done enough... Let me shower in peace. I need to clear my head." The door of the bathroom was closed in front of his face and Jungkook's eyes quickly shifted to his phone. He picked it up and gulped as he exited the bedroom. "You heard him right? This is all a game, stop bothering me Min Woo-hyung." He closed the bedroom's door and walked over to the kitchen with his voice lowered.

"I don't believe you." Min Woo scoffed and his voice lowered.

It was a chuckle after a few seconds that made Jungkook want to completely erase himself from existence. That same chuckle he's heard more than the times he can count. It was absolutely terrifying to him. "I could believe you though. Do you want a punishment again Jungkook?"

"No. How can I prove it to you?" Jungkook bit his lower lip, his messy bangs covered his eyes and his hands began to shake. The dominant was acting submissive again, but this time it wasn't for Jimin, it was for the man that taught him how to be the way he is. The man who ruined him in ways no one wishes to be ruined.

"Let me watch you fuck him with all your favorite toys. I'll give you two weeks for that answer in preparation, if not, you'll be the one chained up."

Jungkook's mind stopped working, he almost dropped his phone and the next words out of Min Woo's mouth were acid burning his body to the ground. "And in the meantime of those two weeks, I want you to fuck one on our sluts at least thrice. One will be tonight. Don't try to escape me, or you'll end up like her."

"Y-Yes Master." Jungkook wanted to hurl his insides out of him because of that word. And after Min Woo hanged up, he chanted like a mantra the only phrase that was able to calm him down before he had an unexpected panic attack.

"Love and fucking are the same."

"Love and fucking are the same."

Meanwhile, in his bathroom, Jimin softly massaged his stiffened stomach with benign movements to not press on any of the blemishes decorating his skin like an arts & crafts project. He felt hurt by the man he loves and he took his time showering, an exact two hours for gathering his thoughts but even so, he still couldn't face the actor completely.

"Jungkook-ah, I think you should leave me alone for today. I'll call you tomorrow okay?" He walked into an empty bedroom wearing his grey bathrobe, damp hair drying with his mint green towel.

"Kook?" The door of his bedroom was closed and last he remembered the door was left open. He walked over and continued calling for the raven haired until he smelled something. He sniffed the air his stomach growled loudly. He was expecting his boyfriend to be in the kitchen but instead his nostrils sniffed out the smell of "Pancakes." he mumbled yet there were still no traces of his boyfriend.

He left me huh...

He didn't want to eat the big fluffy looking pancake all ready on a plate waiting for him with maple syrup on the side, because Jungkook made it for him and just left. Even if he was mad and disappointed in him and himself, he loved the man and wanted to have a deep down conversation with him but it actually hurt that he left him again.

"Fuck you Jungkook." He stuffed a piece of the pancake in his mouth and moaned in delight. He was starving and that pancake was about to be devoured.

"I don't think that's a good idea Jimin hyung." The actor emerged fully clothed from the bathroom at the other end of the living room. The writer almost choked and glanced back to where the voice came from. "I thought you left." He mumbled chewing on another piece after making sure it had maple syrup on top.

"Not yet... Anyway, I know you're probably mad at me..." Jungkook started, his face paler than usual and the older did miss that because he was busy taking another bite of the pancake. "I am mad at you. But... can you cook me another pancake? This is freaking delicious, you're a liar. You should've made me this the next morning after we met." Jimin's cheeks were full, half of his words were muffled but the younger did catch one thing.

"You're not even finished but I'll cook you another one then." His spirits were down, this wasn't the same Jungkook that Jimin has been accustomed to. And the writer gulped everything inside his mouth to analyze his boyfriend. And when he saw the phone on his right hand, he assumed that someone called him; only one person could make his boyfriend be like this. From that nauseating first meeting, the writer suspected that Lee Min Woo was doing something, but he kept quiet. Even now, he ignored his own feelings where he feels his love is neglected.

"Kook, Did... Min Woo call you?"

"Don't mention his name. I'm not mentally stable right now. Just let me cook you another pancake and I'll leave afterwards."

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