Unfocussed

*Saphira's POV*

I felt my blood pump to my head. "WHAT?!" I almost yelled at mom. Mom raised both her hands, palms showing in surrender. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was such a touchy subject," mom said looking stunned from my reaction. I felt sorry again. Mom just wasn't so up to date on my life anymore. "It's not your fault mom, it's just all very complicated." I apologized. "Want to talk about it?" Mom offered.

"No defense, but I rather not." I answered. "Next topic then." Mom suggested. "Are you excited about school tomorrow?" mom asked. "I think I'll survive," I said wryly.

That night I called Amanda for about three hours straight, crying of course. She was the only one that knew about everything that had happened between Benjamin and I.

When my alarm clock went off the next morning, I felt like I hadn't slept at all. Lynn wanted me to try out for her cheer squad, but I told her I honestly just liked to watch. It was way too much spotlight for me.

I dressed myself in a pair of jeans and a thin white knitted pullover. Let my hair hang loose and took a picture for Benjamin. I made both my eyes point toward my nose. Then I sent the picture to his cell phone. He hadn't called me yet. Should I just call him myself? Or would that be too pushy? The heck with it I thought. I pressed green..

I bit my lip… I had the phone on speaker and I could see that he was online on What's-app now. He wasn't picking up yet and then finally he did.

"Hi, there Beautiful," Ben said charmingly. "Hey…." I said sounding a bit less abundant. "What's going on with the silly faces?" Ben asked. "I miss you… I wanted to show you I'm going nuts without you," I answered feeling a bit sulky..

"What am I going to do with you?" Ben said chuckling quietly. "You can come home and kiss me?" I suggested. "Nice try," Ben said still sounding affectionate.

"What time did you arrive?" I asked. "Uh.. about eight PM your time." Ben answered sounding thoughtfully. I did some quick math in my head. "I see… you weren't in a rush to call me… I guess…" I said accusingly. I heard Benjamin sigh, but he didn't respond.

I wondered why he wouldn't be eager to call me. In my head I saw all kinds of beautiful college girls. I bit my lip. "How are the students over there? I mean… I heard Arabian woman are rather pretty," I said trying to go for casual.

Benjamin started to chuckle again. I bit my lip in response. "Ma belle Evangeline, you're not going jealous on me now, are you." He said laughing a bit louder. Now I didn't respond… I heard him sigh again, this time a bit heavier. "You're adorable when you sound jealous. Although my love, you have no reason to be. My heart belongs to only you and besides; the program only allows male students," he said matter of factly. To be honest I didn't know much of the country of my mothers roots.

I gave it a thought… when he put it this way… "Alright." I finally let it go. "Saphira, you do know you have only twenty minutes left, before your first class starts right?" Benjamin reminded me. I looked at the clock. "Shoot, nope I didn't. I have to go," I said in a hurry now.

"Can you do me one favor though?" I asked quickly. "Always," Ben answered meaningfully. "Make me a picture right now… Please…?" I asked trying to sound angelic. "Sure," Ben answered simply. "Now, hurry, you'll be late," Ben said with authority in his voice.

I ran down the stairs, grabbed my bag and car keys and ran straight to my car. I drove carefully, but quickly to school campus and parked my car in the school parking lot. It reminded me much of my very first day, because the lot was already filled again. Luckily this time I wasn't late for my first class, because the teacher was late.

Zachary would be in most of my classes this semester as well. That was a pleasant foresight. He saved me a seat in English. "You look awful," Zachary said looking concerned. "You haven't slept much, have you?" He asked.

"I kind of waited up until Benjamin would give me a call that he had arrived… " I said as the teacher walked in. "He didn't call you?" Zachary asked frowning. "No. I called him this morning," I whispered back. Then we couldn't speak any more because class started.

Next class I had with Lynn. It was the only class Zack and I didn't have together. We took a seat in the back. "Benjamin said he had a terrible flight, when he called last night. Didn't you just have to laugh about the stewardess story?" He did call his parents last night… would he have called me… if I didn't call him first this morning? I felt nauseated.

"Saphira?" I was confused. Stewardess story? So a female steward? "No. I haven't heard that one, " I said wryly.

Lynn started to giggle, but then the teacher started his class. "I'll tell you later," Lynn whispered. I couldn't concentrate the whole class. I had no idea what the teacher was talking about. I knew this was supposed to be Biology, but nothing made sense.

When class was over Zachary waited for us at the door. We would have physical education together. "Oh, right! I promised to tell you about the stewardess. "I had to laugh so hard," Lynn said snickering. Honestly my enthusiasm stopped at the word 'stewardess'.

"Tell us about it," I said trying to bring some color in my tone. "Well I told you Ben said he didn't have a good flight right," Lynn said rolling her eyes. "He told us about this blond stewardess being all clumsy around him. She kept asking him if she could get him anything. And when he did, she always brought back the wrong thing. But it gets even more hilarious," Lynn continued.

Zach and I looked at each other. I guess we both didn't see the humor in this story. "When Ben asked for a drink she spilled it all over him!" Lynn said laughing really loud. We were standing in front of the locker rooms now. "She was trying to dry him off, with no use of course. So for the next remaining eight hours he was soaking wet from his coke," Lynn said while rolling her eyes again.

I stared at Zachary and he stared back. "What, you guys don't find this funny?" Lynn asked snickering. "Now I see why Ben Didn't tell Saph this story alright." Zach said shaking his head.

Lynn saw I wasn't quite humored with her little tale at all. "Come on now Saphira. You're not THAT insecure right?" Lynn asked dubious. She wasn't far off mark though.

We were playing basketball but I couldn't concentrate again. Why would he mention the stewardess was blond? He must of really noticed her…. I kept seeing mental pictures of a blond girl touching my Benjamin. I lost all focus on the game.

And then it was black.