Chapter 15

Captain Carter was pacing into his cabin, holding a glass of brandy in his hand.

This time, his mind was bothered by something else - Serena and how much he lusted after her from the first moment he saw her face. Her gray eyes had haunted his mind.

He had craved for other women in the past, but none as much as Serena.

Many women had passed by his bed, but those women were older and certainly more experienced in bed than Serena. Most of them were married to older's men for their money.

In short, that women knew where they were going, with whom and why. They were absolutely aware of what they were going to do.

So, he had a great experience with women and was, if not entirely sure, almost sure of Serena's inexperience in bed. All signs showed it, but life had taught him not to put his hand in the fire for anyone.

But that was not the only reason he didn't dare to go one step further on her.

He was sure of his desire for her but not of his love.

He had never been in love before, so he wasn't sure he would recognize its symptoms correctly. What he knew for sure was that every time he saw her, his mind blurred, and his heart beat faster.

However, he managed to hide well what was happening inside him, wearing the look of indifference. But the eyes do not lie, and Serena was confused with him. His eyes burned her, but all his other reactions put her off.

He didn't forget the fact that Serena would not stay on the ship forever. And it was unfair for her to deflower her and then not find a husband because no one would want to marry a deflowered woman.

Although his body desperately longed for her, yet his morals refused to cause such great harm to a poor girl.

In recent days, another problem has been added to his road leading to Serena. Lucas and his relationship with Serena.

All of the above concerns would have no meaning if he didn't know how Serena really felt for him if she felt something for him or had found love in Lucas' face.

Carter had found a way without suspicion and had asked Lucas what was going on between him and Serena, and Lucas had assured him that their companion-ship was only within the limits of friendship.

The young man had seemed honest to him, and so Carter didn't pressure him more. Now he had to learn how Serena felt about Lucas.

Lucas may have been friendly with her, but Serena may have fallen in love with him. Nobody forbade her to do that, and inwardly she hoped that at some point Lucas would see her in the same way. If something like this happened, Lucas could leave the ship in order to follow Serena and Brielle.

The oath may have bound Lucas, it may have been forbidden by the unwritten law to leave the ship, but no one could vouch for him that he wouldn't break his oath. He could efficiently run away off the boat if he wished.

And what could the Captain do then? To chase him? To kill him?

No, he wasn't such a scamp.

But he, as the Captain of the ship, could never give it up for any reason and especially for a woman, no matter how much he wanted her. It would be an absolute humiliation of his name, and he would never allow that.

So he was at a dead end.

Seeing that the two young people came closer to each other, he felt a sting in his heart and carried away by this feeling he had behaved to the young man abruptly a couple of times.

But when he realized what he was doing, he stopped immediately and decided to deal with it differently, more personally.

So he decided to put himself to the test.

Avoid touching her.

He wanted to find out exactly how he felt about her. Would he miss touching her?

Would he long to touch her? And if so, how much would he want it?

Depending on the result of the test, he would decide what to do with her.

Should he leave her alone to find her fortune, maybe even with Lucas? Or fight for her to the end?

So, the next time they were alone, he avoided touching her. He didn't even approach her. He repeated the same thing the next time he was alone with Serena carrying out her duties. He didn't go near her. He didn't touch her.

There were times when he caught himself not being able to take his eyes off her, and other times when he was alone, her form flooded his mind. That had never happened before, and when it happened, it scared him a little.

Weren't things precisely what he thought they were?

The first days passed, and he decided to move on to the next stage of the test. Approaching Serena but still not touching her.

And he applied it from the very next time they were left alone.

He had gotten up from the chair of his desk and was slowly approaching her. His heart started pounding, but he hid it as always. He stood in front of her and didn't extend his hand to her during talking to her.

As the days passed, he found it increasingly difficult to keep his hands off her. He was forced to hide his hands in his trouser pockets or knitted his fingers behind his back.

The greater his desire to touch her became, the tighter his grip behind his back became. Until he realized how torturous it was not to be able to touch her, and this torture grew whenever he saw Lucas touching her; Hold her hands or a gentle sting on her cheek or caress her hair.

Then, he forcibly closed his hands in fists and clenched his jaws so tight until the ache came and made him stop.

This whole process ended when he was sure that he couldn't keep his hand away from her.

Yes, at that point, he was absolutely sure.

The Captain raised the glass with the brandy he was holding at his eye level. He looked at the brandy for a moment and then drank it in one gulp.

His next goal was to find out how Serena felt about him. He sensed her agitation every time she was next to him. He still remembered how hard her heart was beating against his finger when he had touched the throbbing vein on her neck that day. But all this agitation she felt may have been felt just because she was next to a man.

On the other hand, he noticed that she wasn't stormy in the same way when she was with Lucas.

Maybe that meant something in his favor. He sighed and grabbed his forehead. He had to find out.

Also, he had to find a way to ask her about Lucas without being revealed.

All these days, the whole process of the test on him had created a new desire inside him.

To feel Serena's touch on his body.

And he already knew the way.