A natural failure

The walk from the root headquarters to Ino's house was longer than I expected which, in hindsight, made sense as I was using crutches instead of walking normally. When I finally did arrive, it was early in the afternoon already, and Ino was with her genin team while her mother tended to their shop and Inochi was at work, leaving me in the always strange situation of being in someone else's home while they weren't there. Although it was slightly strange, being alone in a comfortable space did give me the perfect opportunity to think over without being interrupted, maybe even actually deal with what happened to... her. On the other hand, they let me into their home, so I should do something nice for them, I could make dinner and then I'll think about what happened.

And so, I spent the next two hours completely focused on preparing a grand meal, setting aside all other activities to use all my knowledge of the culinary arts in order to cook the most glorious meal I could with the ingredients in their kitchen and when I was finished, I set it aside to simmer. And then when I had cooked the meal as a thank you to them for letting me stay with them, I finally had time to think about everything... although, I really should practice fuinjutsu, just to make sure that I didn't forget anything while we were returning to Konoha, but after making a couple of seals, then I will have time to think. After spending a couple of hours doing that, I finally heard the door open.

"I'm home!" Ino called into the house.

"Hey Ino, I made dinner in your kitchen" I said from the dining table, where I was sitting, having decided to return to the project I worked on in Kiri for a while before I gave up. But, with how much I had learned about fuinjutsu, and how necessary it was at this point, I figured it would be worth another try.

"so, you've just completely embraced this as your new home" she said with a raised eyebrow as she sat down across from me to avoid disturbing the mess of papers I had spread over the table.

"No, no, I was very specific when I said your kitchen, in fact, I want you to know that I am fully aware that this is your house, and that I will only stay here as long as possible to avoid paying for things" I said with a kind smile.

"Well, at least you make dinner for us, that's something, in fact, I think mom will be willing to pay you to be our servant if you take up cleaning too" Ino said.

"As much as I would love to be the servant of my best friend and her father who hates me, I think I will be rather busy from now on" I said, remembering that even if I did say no to joining Danzo's organization, I was still under his command until the situation I created with Kiri was resolved.

"Dad doesn't hate you, he just... strongly suspects you of being a horrible person whom he would therefore dislike strongly" she sighed.

"And that's the furthest thing from hate, in fact, I think it's so far from hate that it has gone all the way around the world and landed right next to it" I said with a slight smirk.

"I suddenly sympathize with dad" Ino grumbled.

"Hey, hey, hey, I may be irresponsible, annoying, stupid, apparently slightly traitorous and have decision-making and critical thinking skills so horrendous that they are unparalleled, but I firmly believe that I can wear anyone down until they pretend to like me for long enough that I leave them alone" I said while determinately looking into the distance.

"Since all of that is true, I don't think I should suffer your company on my own, so how do you plan to tell everyone?" she asked.

"Well, I honestly just thought you could gather everyone at ichiraku, and we could tell them all together" I said

"Are you sure that it won't be, uncomfortable, if we tell them together?" she asked

"It probably will be, but while they will be confused, it will be easier to just explain it once" I said.

"That too, but what about Shikamaru and Naruto? I'm not even sure we can get them in the same room without them fighting" she said.

"What? What do you mean fighting?" I asked.

"Well, you know what happened after you left, right?" Ino asked

"All Sakura told me was that the group fell apart when I left" I said.

"You could say that, but it was much more along the lines of a civil war" she winced.

"I know we are a tight-knit friend group, but I don't understand how my leaving resulted in a civil war, in fact, I would say that my leaving would calm things down" I said.

"it's really more about how you left" - she started to explain slowly - "for the first couple of days, everyone was just worried about you, but, well, Shikamaru was sad, okay? And, well, he said that it was our fault, as in the people who helped you with the heist, he said that we should have stopped you. Then Naruto yelled at him about how 'they couldn't have banished all of us, and if Shikamaru had helped then you wouldn't be gone... it was a big fight, and by the end, everyone had picked sides and the group just... broke apart" she said.

"huh, I guess that is one more way my choices have screwed over those around me" - I said with a bitter smile, speaking again just as ino was about to open her mouth - "well, even if I managed to break up the group, that just means I'll have to assemble it again, it was fun the first time, it'll probably be fun now, so, what are the factions of this civil war?" I asked, putting on a smile again.

"Well, Naruto and Sakura agreed that if they went back in with you, you wouldn't have been banished. Shikamaru said that even if everyone was there, then while they couldn't banish everyone, they could just banish you, Sakura, and Naruto since you guys are from civilian families, and then just cover up the favoritism from the public. And that the only way we could have prevented you from getting banished was if we stopped you in the beginning... I'm pretty sure he blames himself as much as the rest of us, so at least he's not a hypocrite" Ino said.

"Well, I think I have to agree with Shikamaru, I don't blame you guys, I just realize how stupid it was of me to think I could rob Konoha" - I said - "but what did the rest think?"

"Hinata was, and still is honestly, sad that everyone is fighting, and sad that you were banished, she... doesn't have it very well, I think" - Ino winced - "i just stayed neutral, really, I- I just didn't want to deal with all the fighting, you know? I think Kiba is the same, although I'm not sure since he mostly hangs out with Shino now, who leans more towards Shikamaru's side, he doesn't want to blame anyone, Choji is on Shikamaru's side, except he just feels really guilty instead of blaming anyone else, Sasuke is kind of like the opposite of that, he's pretty much on Naruto and Sakura's side, but he just doesn't blame anyone"

I mulled over the new information I just received, before now I had just imagined that there was a small fight, then they got busy and just forgot to see each other as often as before. However, this was much harder to fix, the group hadn't just split up, they had shattered, but, even if it would be hard to gather them together again, and it would take time for them to become as close as before, it was still fixable.

"Okay, here is the plan, first, we find an isolated meadow of some kind, then, you, as the most neutral part of the group, go tell everyone to meet you there, then, we perform a knockoff of the Uchiha-Senju peace negotiations, and then we go eat at Ichiraku and I finally beat the old man at cooking to commemorate my return" I said.

"There is one problem with your plan"

"What?"

"you're never going to beat Teuchi at cooking"

I was in the middle of the meadow, hiding between the three banners I had brought with me, each one with something different on it one with 'we should have stopped Anno's stupidity' on it, one with 'we should have backed up Anno in his stupidity' written on it and lastly one with 'why am I here, I'm not a part of this conflict' written on it. On the back of each banner was a seal, a rather impressive one if I do say so myself, it even helped me get a breakthrough on the project I was working on. The seal created a field of space where a constant breeze ran through it.

[seal of the endless dramatic breeze

Teir: B

A seal which, while useless in every way shape, and form, was hard to create. It has the undeniably inefficient, pointless, and impractical purpose of making a constant breeze run through a designated area. The reason it was hard to create is that it creates an effect outside of the seal in a surrounding area, which also makes it very chakra intensive.

Cost: 100cp/minute]

Each fantastic and very useful seal was set up to blow the wind in the faces of each respective faction, making their clothes flutter and hopefully giving a dramatic flair to the situation. After I finished setting up, I realized that there was still some time left before the others would show up, so I made myself comfortable where I lay in the flowers, and my thoughts started to drift towards her. I suddenly realized that it had been quite a while since I checked my status, so I allocated my atribute points and looked it over.

[Name: Anno | Level: 42]

[Health: 4145 | chakra: 4670]

[constitution: 134 | strength: 141]

[dexterity: 145 | intelligence: 167]

[wisdom: 150 | attribute points: 0]

[Abnormal conditions: [Missing leg]]

I expanded the missing leg window.

[missing leg:

Through your battle with Zabuza Momochi you gained much, including a missing leg ]

"Ino, why did you drag all of us here, I think it's been pretty clear through the last two years that we don't want to see each other" Shikamaru said from one direction, his voice less lazy than usual and far more annoyed.

"Yeah, I don't wanna be her either, not when he's here" Naruto said from another direction.

"I- I'm confused as well, and why is the wind blowing in three directions?" Hinata said from a third direction.

It was perfect, everyone stood at their faction's location, and every preparation I made was ready, now, it was time to execute my plan. First, I started a domino effect of smoke-bomb seals, making them go off in a circle around me, then I activated the seal on the ground below me, and stood up under the cover of the smoke as the earth rose up beneath me in a spinning pedestal, watching the shocked faces of my friends as the smoke cleared and I slowly spun in a circle above them as I stood in their midst.

"I'm back" I said with a smile as I stood confidently on my crutches.

Then I stopped supplying chakra to the pillar beneath me, and the loose dirt I had forced into a pillar crumbled beneath me causing me to fall to the ground in a position reminiscent of three newborn cows who tried to mimic a human pyramid.

"Yeah, that has to be Anno, no one else can fail so spectacularly with so much preparation" Shikamaru said dryly.

"I'll have you know" - I said while dusting myself off with one hand as I supported myself with the other - "that I can fail spectacularly even without preparation, in fact, I don't need any preparation to fail, I am simply a natural failure"

"But- no- you were- what- Anno- you- banished- huh?" Hinata stuttered as she tried to respond to my graceful entrance.

"Great to see you too Hinata, same to you Kiba, Shino, and Choji, I would love to say the same to you Shikamaru, however, your sarcastic barbs sadly drag you down to a, good to see you" I said with a smile.

"Anno, if you faked your own banishment for one-and-a-half years just to make an entrance I will send all the dogs in our compound after you" Kiba said slowly as he stared at me in a mixture of mystification and suspicion.

"of course not, while I am many things, I am not the kind of person to set up dramatic moments, I swore an oath to only capitalize on them, not create them" I said with disdain.

"But then, how did you get back to us?" Choji asked, pure confusion and happiness on his face.

"And where were you?" Kiba asked.

"Why did you only come now?" Shino asked

"Uh, how, I mean, what, or, when-" Hinata tried to ask.

"What is your plan this time?" Shikamaru asked

"And why did you do the one thing I told you not to do, and make a dramatic, flamboyant, stupid, and overly grand entrance" Ino asked, though it sounded more like a demand as she glared at me.

"I know you have questions, and I will answer all of them, so, gather round, and let me tell you a tale, a tale of a rebellious girl, and her moronic friend who happened to be a Shinobi on a secret mission" I said and started to tell them everything which had happened to me, including Kyoko, and how her death was my fault.

However, before I could open my mouth to speak, a stinging pain flared in my right shoulder, and when I looked, what greeted me was a senbon mere millimeters from a debilitating nerve cluster, and a masked ninja running straight for us right behind the next volley of needles.