18

I am back in that room, the black and white room, but with a different dress.

This one is red and satin, gleaming deadly in the whole background of the room as I look around....

The black and white butterfly us still floating around, minding it's own business before I begin to feel those pair of eyes on me again.

I look infront of me and see him sitting there in the darkness, his eyes giving out where he is hiding.

Again, I try to cover myself with the sheet but feel it being thrown away to a corner of the room "Don't"

His voice here is different....

Deeper more like it...

Like a low growl of an animal that had watched someone take it's toy...

"It's cold" I say.

There's a snap and the temperature rises a bit, but I can still feel the cold air bite into my skin as I sigh and say "Thank you"

He doesn't reply.

I sit there, not saying a word for awhile, not knowing what exactly to say "It's you isn't it? Green eyes?"

The person does not reply, the eyes are just staring at me deeply, calculatively.....

I bite my lower lip and hear him growl "Don't do that"

Stopping, I look up at him "I want to sleep"

"You are"

"I don't want you here"

"You'd rather you resume to your dreamless sleep?"

"Yes?"

"I don't care"

I scoff and look away, then then to my dress "I'm sure that you made me wear this dress"

"It was entirely your choice"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means what you think it is"

My brain makes an angry snap mentally at his remark before I roll my eyes and lay back on the bed, turning my face so I don't have to face him "I'm going back to my real dream, goodnight"

There's nothing at first, but I hear it..

The voice is small and possibly unhappy that I don't want to talk to it anymore but it didn't fight it "Goodnight"

*

I feel light dance over my closed eyes and I open them, slowly so as not to let it blind me too much, before I sit up...

Today I feel calm, so calm, but my head hurt alot...

I try to even remember the circumstances that got me in bed because I remembered falling asleep crying on the dining table but some images of someone carrying up to my room and watching me for a while made me cringe.

I wanted him gone...

I know that things were horrible with me after I hurt myself, yes, but he was too much punishment from whatever thing that wanted to punish me..

I touch my burning head again and my brain sends a message to me that I need aspirin but I fight of the message, walking out of the bed groaning and walking to the mirror.

I see my ugly ass reflection, looking like I had just finished having the worst possible case of a cold the world has ever seen with my small eyes and bright red nose before I look down and see the phone on my dressing table.

I stare at it, not really sure about what to do, then slowly pick it up and begin to look all over it, putting it on and go to my contact list.

Everything was intact.

Pops.

Tyler.

The twins.

Dana....

Sighing, I rub my hand over my face.

Today was a school day, but I wasn't sure I wanted to see Tyler, cause I would breakdown, or Dana, cause I would tear her throat out of its compartment, but if I decide to stay in, Pops would worry and send someone to baby sit me, the babysitter being someone I didn't want to be with, which I did not want.

Not knowing what to do, I move into the bathroom, brush my teeth and climb into the shower before it clicks.

Doc.

I could call Doc.

Pops trusted her alot with me and that was the only person that thought I was actually not mentally insane, no matter what everyone said.

I am out of the bathroom after thirty minutes, moving to the cloths I had come back with from the facility, finding the ash sweater and sweatpants folded neatly away from my other cloths.

Dragging out the sweatpants, I quickly dive my hands into it's pockets and bring out the silver business card then rush to the phone on my dresser and dial the number.

It rings for a period of time, every minute she did not pick making my heart beat with worry till I hear a familiar click and a soft feathery voice saying "Hello"

Relief immediately flooded into me as I say "Doc"

"Miss Walker?" She asks, sounding surprised "Are you okay?"

"No" I say "You said if I ever wanted to talk, I could...."

"I know what I said. I am a bit busy today but by eight, I should be done. Would you come over to my place and have dinner then?"

I nod "Yes, that'd be nice"

"Okay, till then"

"Bye"

I hang up, letting the phone down as peace and calm comes back into me before I walk out of my room, walking down the stairs, freezing at the sight infront of me.

Pops was on his armchair, talking and laughing about something Kim must have said, and Kim, who is in his coat, white of course and gloves, obviously, with ash slacks is giving that his usual polite smile I had began to notice too much.

"What's going on?" I ask making them both turn.

Pops eyes brightens as he stands up and says "You're awake Princess, very good. Would have come to wake you up myself but I wasn't sure I wanted the young master out of my sight"

Young master?

"What is he doing here so early in the morning?" I ask, my eyes on Pops though I can feel Kim's eyes on me.

"Well he came to pick you up for school of course" He says then eyes me "You ARE going to school, right?"

I shake my head "No, I have a therapy session with Doc today and she says I should rest till our meeting by 8"

I can visibly see that stubborn tic on Kim's face is back at the mention of those words as Pops eyes become wide "But.. but you said you were okay"

"I guess I'm not" I say with a small smile then turn to Green eyes "So sorry to have kept you waiting"

I know he had not expected me to that.

He had wanted me to act crazy so everyone would think I'm crazy because of the things he did to me and I would after a while realise talking didn't help me and shut up , but I was actually accepting the fact I was crazy, which had spoilt whatever plan he had.

Yet, he gives that smile of his, which I can tell is fake because of the tic on his jaw as he stands up and says "It is nothing, but can I talk to you alone? In the kitchen, if you may"

Normally, I would panic and run but the fact I knew whatever problems I had would be gone immediately I spoke to Doc, I relax and say "Of course"

We both walk off to the kitchen, him letting me walk in first before he does too and sits the door then faces me, his face in a smirk "What is my little butterfly planning?"

I sigh "I just want my life back"

"Your life is with me Amare" He says with a chuckle "All this... is like fake gold, it would keep on rusting... And rusting... Until you realise that I am your home"

"I won't play in your sick game today Kim" I say "All I ask is that you let me be for a day"

"And when I leave you alone what happens, hmmm?" He is walking to me, his face still in that smirk "You are having panic attacks, you are crying, you are sick...."

I who had been pinned to the wall just stared up at the giant infront of me as he towered above me, a grin on his face "You need me"

"No, I do not" I say "I would tell you you have a mental problem and need help but I don't want you around Doc, you would corrupt her"

He giggles, like he thinks I'm mad before he says "Corruption? Oh mon dieu, don't make me laugh. Every being is corrupt.... Except you"

His hand comes to my face and I gasp at the cold contact...

His green eyes seem to have transfixed me to the spot and I can't move...

Just stare at his eyes as he whispers "Te amo diversi generis malta nim"

I love you very much...

I do not know what language it is but my  mind interpretes it as I can suddenly smell flowers around us, the sound of waterfall in the background and birds flying high in the sky, like a peaceful melody lulling me to sleep. 

His face comes closer to mine, his lips slightly brushing mine "Ah, meum papilio"

My butterfly.....

I gasp at the electricity of his lips on mine, my body already moving closer to his like a magnet, as I try to bring him closer to me as he says, whispering "Donec gratus eram tibi esset ante vos: ego antem sum amandus sit, et ego in the: at tames amo, cum ie cam non existat"

I have loved you before you existed, I love you while yoy exist, and I will love you when you are no longer existence.

Now I feel like my body is on fire as it feels like the world is shaking, the sound of thunder rumbling far away and water... Floods rushing and floating all around...

He lowers his lips to mine and I can feel the cold air of his breath as he is about to press it to my lips before I hear the door of the kitchen open and I push him away from me with Pops staring back and forth at both of us, confused.

"Is everything alright?" He asks, probably at the fact we look breathless, or I do, but I don't answer him and run out the kitchen to my room.