Funny Brick Weapon

I could copy one's cultivation technique after looking at it once.

Though I couldn't replicate cultivation resources, I was destined to be richer and stronger than the rest of my peers.

You could call it cheating, you could call it all a sham but aside from all the moral questions, strength doesn't lie. It is real and crushing and overpowering.

You don't believe me? Talk to me after I've broken your nose with a casual backhand slap.

If one doesn't work, two will. That's just how is it. Back when I had first acquired this power, I was struggling in my academy. I couldn't differentiate right from wrong and was bullied by my peers every day.

Then, everything changed, and I suddenly became aware... I was right, and everyone else... was wrong. It was just that simple.

Everything else was just a preparation to make that a reality. To prove my worth.

And so I struggled. I fought robbers and thieves and rapists and bandits and magic beasts. Everyone that I could easily kill and loot without shaking from my moral standpoint.

It went... perfect.

By the end of my first year, I was as strong as an above-average 3rd-year student. But they didn't know me. They didn't respect me.

So this tournament, I was prepared to make them. I bought out the "Heaven Suppressing Seal", but since I could only make it so big, it looked like a rectangular black brick.

Truthfully, I wasn't too proud of it, but I just thought about how my life has been too serious recently and so with this gimmick, I could attract a few laughs, which I desperately needed to boost my confidence again.

Oh, I didn't tell you? I THRIVE on attention. I wanted to face slap people so bad in my dreams, it was like my life-long pursuit.

The crowd cheering, the girls applauding, the seniors gobsmacked, the teachers fighting to take me as their disciple, I wanted all of it.

I wanted to look at their alarmed faces with indifference, and now I could because... I was strong.

The first few rounds went well. It was in the quarter-finals that I met that bastard.

It was a 14-15-year-old kid, around two years younger than me, with bushy eyebrows and a gloomy demeanor.

Usually, whenever I look at a cultivator intensely and imagine myself practicing their cultivation technique, a weird notification appears in my mind that informs me of their technique and gives me an option to copy it.

This guy in front of me though...

"Cultivation Technique:???

Estimated cultivation level: —

Alert: Copying not possible

WARNING: RUN FAR AWAY AND HIDE"

This...this creeped me out. I didn't know what to do. Everyone was looking at me with slanted eyes, perhaps they were laughing at my cowardice. No, I can't do this.

I can't run away.

This seal suppresses heaven and earth, how can I just admit defeat without trying?

And so I slammed ahead with my 'brick'. The spectators cheered, by now, they were aware of my power. I had garnered quite a lot of attention.

The gloomy kid in front of me didn't move, only flicking his finger and a sword wave appeared. That seemingly minor sword wave that I was going to sneer at managed to stop my attack and put a chip on my brick at the same time.

It was a heart-breaking spectacle for me. I saw an imperceptible smile appear on the face of that gloomy kid and that's when I realized. This person... was the same as me, an attention-wh*re.

It's really too hard to not get drunk on fame. When every action that you do, whether right, wrong, minor, or major receives appreciation and applaud, your heart just feels fulfilled. That feeling... is beautiful.

But I didn't have time to care about all that now. I was facing a life-and-death crisis.

As soon as that smile appeared on his face, my opponent looked at me and let out a shout,

"Purple-Yang Sword Wave: Minor sword intent,"

I sensed extremely horrifying energy gather near my chest. This... was the ultimate move of our headmaster's technique that I had copied, which made it my ultimate move too.

But... I wasn't even proficient in it. This was the reason I was holding back from utilizing it but this bastard... somehow... yeah, he was a far bigger cheater than me.

His golden finger was far brighter than my future, and even with my brick, I was destined to be his stepping stone.

I could think a lot during that time. Perhaps, I was just recalling everything, regretting the fact that I didn't heed that warning sooner.

Even the headmaster himself would not be able to save me now... The sword wave would form right above my heart and sever my arteries.

...and it happened. Closing my eyes, I welcomed the embrace of death, but just when the sword aura was about to blast my heart apart, it vanished!

This was against logic! It wasn't supposed to be! But I was delighted. Absolutely jubilant.

After all, who would protest about not dying?

I opened my eyes, and time was still. No one other than me could move their eyes.

My opponent was kneeling on the floor, his body disappearing like a sandcastle on top of a sea. He was trying to scream, he was trying to yell for help but I knew, it wasn't coming.

I looked around at the spectators, some were eating, some were whispering, some were looking at something else entirely instead of the match, but all of them had one thing in common.

They... were stuck in time. They couldn't move, they couldn't see. My body automatically shuddered in fear. I couldn't see anything, but I did hear a whisper in my ears...

"I'll be taking your cheat, kid. Remember, cheating can get you far in life, but there's big punishments when you're caught. Thank me later for saving your life."

...

The Archangel clapped his hand to himself, and mumbled, "This was the 14th one already. How many can there be in a single universe? A purging was indeed required.

The Gods bestowing these powers without reason need a visit too. Seriously, an ability to copy people's techniques upon seeing them once is still fine, but to instantly master and improve that skill beyond perfect in a few seconds just breaks...everything, especially if that skill is made for immortals."

One step at a time,

Like a farmer reaping his crops,

The Archangel was visiting a lot of "Self-made heroes", and it was a grand purge.

Author's Note:

Hehe guys, I think, I think, this brick thing is not as funny as some authors believe it to be but haha comedy is subjective.

Dead MC: That reaper was subjective with his choice too, I wish he wasn't...