First Love

Helena connected her phone on her headset..

"Steve...route 4 exit 78, find who is following me, and erase the footage ASAP!!!!!!!!"

She revved her bike reaching 100mph with an annoyed feeling. Those drivers does not seem to be from her previous enemy, but who might that be, in just short time she arrived in a small house located in a different city, daffodil city is a small city connecting Orchid and Hibiscus city, being in between, the small city develop in a fast paced money making it a perfect hub for businesses and housing development.

She parked her bike in front of the iron gate decorated with a design representing a dragon and on both fence. The gate was opened automatically and a middle aged woman dress in a soft pink cotton dress was seen trimming the bed of flowers strategically placed among the brick path leading to the main door. she saw Helena walking in with a helmet placed on her hip. she frowned seeing her dressed in a revealing shorts and a platform sneakers that changes it colors when the sunlight hits it.

"Aren't you a little too old to be dressing like a child?" she rolled eyes.

"Aren't you a little too old to be nosy" she attacked back with her sharp tongue.

Pamela threw the garden scissors towards Helena, and she tilted her body slightly, her left arm raised and catch the scissors. She let a loud laugh "Violent as always Pam"

"You f*king brat" Pamela will never stay mad at her, so she walked up to her and hugged her tight, Helena hated physical touches and Pamela is well verse in her conditions, however teasing Helena as of now is perfect opportunity, she wont be able to say no.

"Mom, you will squeeze the air of her if you continue" a woman in her 30s leaning on the main door with her arm crossed smiling as she mention it.

Pamela let Helena goes as she also need to tend to her garden, the rain previously has messed up her favorite garden. Helena waved her hand gesturing goodbye to Pamela before following Soraya inside. They walked side by side to a room on the second floor.

"I haven't seen you in 1 year" Soraya not wasting time, seeing Helena here is good enough, that is a huge progress, that means she is willing to talk about the incident two years ago. The incident has become a triggered point for her psychological conditions that already fragile to begin with.

Helena sat on the long purple velvet couch, she runs he hands through the material, as if taking comfort in the softness or the velvet sofa. Soraya keep her attentions focused on Helena, she took her paper and jot down few notes, a sound of scribbling on the paper was heard.

Helena looked up and her nose flare in annoyance.

"what did you write" she crossed her legs and lean on the sofa.

"nothing, just some notes...shall we begin"

Helena sighed, her heart is not ready to talk about her weakness, no matter how close she is with Soraya as they trained together in the Cabal, she cant help but feeling self conscious by sharing her weaknesses, and the reason behind it. Only few people knows about the incident, those few coincidently was there as well.

Even if she started talking about it, where can she start? where she shoot her bestfriend? or where she fall in love while on the job? or when she almost goes AWOL and was closed to talk about the cabal? or when she has to hurt someone she loves?. or seeing him happy while she cant even achieve a normal life? or when she scared of the rain because it remind of her the incident?.

"I decided not to leave the Cabal" that's all she can say at this point, opening up more means reopening an old wound that has scabbed.

"what change?" Soraya wrote something on her notebook.

"Everything i guess, i refuse to do missions, but ill be at the lab, making shit for them so they can use it to f*cking kill people, i don't know. .i don't know maybe antidote, or a f*cking memory wipe serum for agents to use if they fall in love right??? or maybe..i don't know..i don't f*king know Soraya!!! why don't you f*king tell me why??you do this right?? this helping people coupe with some batshit things they did in their life?? right?? you are gonna help me live normal right??" Helena rambled like a delirious person, she started getting anxious, her shoulders trembled, her chest heaved up and down trying to control her ragged breathing. she rubbed her face, and took her helmet and leave Soraya that calmly sitting on her chair.

She did not even flinch when Helena goes into berserk mode. she looked at Helena receding figured from where she sat.

"its a small progress" and she continue writing series of medical notes from just few minutes Helena was there. That is the longest she had been in the room, at this point anything that can help her be herself again will do.

She was too excellent as an agent The Cabal ever have, it is almost impossible for anyone to achieve her score for any test she had, being in The Cabal slowly has eating her mental health, and the most dangerous part is when she was train to manipulate her own emotions, Soraya saw few agents that crumbled when they started to lose their self within the undercover period. For someone that started as young as Helena, she was surprised Helena hasn't broke down violently.

They are all require to undergo psychological evaluation after each missions, except Helena who refused it constantly.