I wanted to water the farm as quickly as possible. But more than that, I didn't want to be a burden on the others.
...No, I just wanted to spend a little time with them.
There was only so much time in the day, meaning there was only so much I could do. In other words, I had to cut away things in order to make time for other things.
But in the end, I cut the time I could've spent with the others each time. In a certain sense, that could be considered a waste of time...
After all, I knew I wouldn't be able to save the world in this life. The reason was simple.
I was too weak.
That was the whole reason I wanted to study these spells, to become strong enough to carry the weight of the world.
...And spending time with the others didn't contribute to that.