Chapter 2

"You think you can disappear and come into our lives like you are forgiven?", he says.

My heart clenches and he continues, "you never called and when we did visit you'd never act like you were happy to see us",he spat.

His brown eyes held anger, "when you left, mum and Quinn cried non-stop, Faye stopped being herself even dad had it difficult. You caused a lot of pain Odetta and they might have forgiven you but I haven't", he said and left.

Tears roll down my cheek, "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to cause anyone harm", I say as mum comes to hug me.

"I don't deserve to be here", I mutter and wipe my tears.

"Nonsense, no matter what happens, you're my daughter and you deserve to be here", dad says, "I can talk to noel"

"No please"

"You shouldn't dad. It's between Noel and odetta", Faye mutters.

"I'm so sorry but he was excited that you'd be back", alia says with a confused expression.

"No, it's okay. It's not your fault"

"I hope this hasn't severed our relationship."

I smile at her, "no it hasn't"

"Noel talked about how we were when you left but I think he had it worse than any of us here. He's your twin brother and best friend isn't he?", Faye says.

"So you need to talk to him", Quinn continues, "he loves you but he's hurt by everything"

I just nod.

"He'll be over by the pond", alia says.

I start making my way there. My mind races with what to say to him as I pass the beautiful trees.

"And make sure to be back by six", I hear mum call out behind me.

I find noel sitting by the pond deep in thoughts so I quietly walk over and sit beside him. The silence stretches for a few seconds before he speaks.

"You didn't call", he simply says.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry isn't enough"

"I know and I'm—", I start to say but trail off.

"Sorry?", He scoffs.

I didn't say anything and he continues, "if mason just walks over to you and says he's sorry for the pain he's caused you, do you think it'll make a difference?"

Tears slide down my cheeks. I wanted to scream at him for mentioning his name but I can't—he has a point.

"No it won't", I says lowly.

"So you know how I feel?"

"Yes"

"Wrong", he says harshly, "I'm your twin brother Odetta.we made a promise to be best friends together forever and do you know what best friends do? TALK . And when it gets tough and you're hurting, you don't talk to me, you just pack your bags and you're off", he says and the harshness is laced with sadness.

"I was—I'm still in pain. My heart hurts just thinking about him"

He turns to me with hurt in his eyes, "you could've told me, talked to me atleast, you could've shared your pain with me but you held it in and when it became too much for you, you left"

"I just couldn't stay. It was so painful", I sob into my palms.

"I know", his voice was softer now and he scooted closer to me, "I've never been rejected so I don't know how you feel but after you left, you could've contacted us but you left me punishing myself for not being the best brother, for not being there for you"

I rose my head from my palm and leaned into his shoulder, "it wasn't your fault", I shook my head, "you couldn't force me to confide in you"

"I felt horrible , I waited by my phone for weeks for your call but you never did and when we visited, you acted like we were adding to your burden. The last thing any of us wanted to do was make your life more miserable."

"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way"

He takes a deep breath, "it's okay"

"I'm also sorry that I shunned you"

After a few seconds of silence, he sighs, "I'm sorry", he starts to say, "I yelled a lot just now, even though everything wasn't your fault. I don't want to make you feel shitty"

"Do you still want to talk about it? I'm here now and I want to listen to you." He asks unsure.

My heartbeat races, "you might see him today and maybe you talking will help but it's been four years so maybe it's o—", he starts but I cut him off.

"It's been seven years and I still think of what would have been if he hadn't picked Alexa"

"would we be married? would we have children?where would we be living?. Sometimes I sit and I wonder what he and Alexa are doing at this moment or what we could've been doing if he had ended up with me"

"I punish myself with the thought of not being good enough. I wonder if being with Alexa makes him happier than the times we spent together. I wonder if he has a mate bond with Alexa now or if he has children"

"He moved on seven years ago and here I am still crying over him and when I'm done thinking off what could've been,I think of how pathetic I am to still bother myself with him and then I cry all over again" I say and I'm crying so hard that tears are clouding my vision.

Noel's arms are around me rubbing my back soothingly. I cling to him and bury my face in his chest.

"Sometimes--", I continue, feeling so pathetically sad, "I wonder if he thinks of me which must be impossible with the luxury life I'm sure he's living with Alexa. I replay all the times we've been together in my head. Sometimes I look at his pictures, watch his favourite movie or eat his favourite food and wonder if they're still his favourite anymore"

"Sometimes, I wonder what went on in his head when he chose Alexa or if he felt pain when he rejected me. I wonder why he did it and sometimes I just write letters to him but I don't post it because I don't want him knowing that he still affects me"

"That bastard", noel growls.

"Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep with thoughts of him. I feel so pathetic at times but I can't stop loving him.it's been almost a decade and he still invade my thoughts while he has another woman. What do you do when the person who is supposed to love unconditionally for the rest of your life decides they don't love you anymore?"

I say and my voice breaks during my confession. "It hurts so much. W-w-we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives loving each other so why did he choose her?"

Noel stays quiet through it all except few words of cursing here and there.

"I really wish I could have been there with you earlier. If you feel like this now, I can only imagine how much pain you felt years ago", he murmurs and kisses my forehead as we stare out to the pond.

I nod, "It's not your fault", I mutter softly and cough lightly to ease my scratchy, dry throat.

"But that was a lot of emotions. It hurts to see you crying this much"

"Seven years worth emotions", I reply and silently prayed for a cup of water to appear.

"He really is a bastard and to think that I was his friend", noel says and i feel his arm tighten around me.

"I need water"

"Let's go back before they think that I murdered you", he says but I shake my head.

"I'm a horrible, ugly mess I'll just scare them"

He just chuckles softly and I inhale his scent and relax. I missed this, hugging Noel, having him hold me, having him take care of me.

"I really did miss you and all our fun together"

"I missed you to"

"You're my second half and I can't loose you again. If anything happens, promise to tell me. I want you to know that no matter what happens, just know that as long as you live, you'll never be alone because I'm here."

I smile at him and nod my head.

"I really think we should go back"

This time I didn't oppose, I just let him pull me up and we make our way to the castle.

"How did you meet alia?"

"Dad took me for a meeting with golden moon pack and I remember after the meeting I smelt something good", he recalls with a smile.

"then I had to follow the scent,it led me to a redhead girl eating her hamburger like it was the only thing in the world. To others,it looked disgusting but that was the sexiest thing i had ever seen",he continues, "I knew I had to have her and when we locked gazes,it was only her in the room but the first thing she said to me was 'I'm sure I look like shit eating this but I promise I'm lovely when I'm not eating'" He laughed.

"She was the beta's daughter and she cane with us that day because she didn't want to wait another second without her mate."

He sighs and continues "you could imagine how touchy mom got with her,dad accepted her right away, Quinn had a sleepover with her that night while it took Faye sometime to accept her, all Alia needed to do was cook her favorite meal and now Faye loves her"

"When did you find her?"

"About—", he hums as he tries to remember, "—seven months ago. We tried calling to tell you but you didn't answer any of your calls. She was hurt at first so I had to fill the void with amazing stories of you so now she loves you before she finally got to see you"

My heart sunk at his words, "again I'm so sorry", I whispered.

"You were dealing with your demons too. If anyone needs to be sorry, it's that bastard."

We enter the castle where maids and servants smile and greet me as I pass.

"I was honestly so convinced that you wouldn't come this week"

"I wanted to come, to tell everyone that our family is still together"

"Everyone is going to be so shocked because for the past four years you weren't around and dad made it clear that you and your whereabouts were No one's business. That shut down the nosy ones fast", we laugh at that. That sounds like dad. Blunt and no-nonsense.

"I'm not really looking forward for tonight but I hope I can go through without breaking down"

We climb up the stairs and enter the castle where we see mum standing and giving directions.

"Oh there you are", mum says as she runs down the stairs in a haste, "the other alphas are arriving and you need to dress up and be ready by eight", she says.

"Relax mum it's only four pm"

"I'm just panicking and when you're done with Odetta please come help me welcome the rest"

"No problem"

"No, Madison those are not the sheets for alpha Maddox", mum exclaims as she runs past us to meet the maid.

"Are we safe during this?"

"Things have changed since you were last here. We all stay at the west wing and the the rest stay at different parts of the castle. There are a lot of guards guarding the entrance to the west wing. Only permitted people may enter the west wing and members of the our family are permitted."

I sigh in relief. Before I left,other alphas stayed in a mansion at the outskirts of the property but I guess this arrangement is better and convenient.

We walk for two minutes before we pass the guards at the entrance of the west wing.

"The west wing dining room,the west wing sitting room", he says as we pass some doors. It's been long since I've visited and everything seems new. "This is your room"

He opens the door and we step in. It's green with a queen sized bed,closet,drawers,a flat screen t.v and a toilet.There is also a book shelf,a couch,a center table and a coffee table and balcony.

"Do you like it?"

"It's amazing" I says breathless.

"I still need that cup of water"

"I'll get it", he says and opens the door to leave "remember, the room to your right is Quinn's room while the room opposite yours is I and alia's. The room beside ours is Faye's and the room down the hall is mom and dad's.

"thanks", I mutter.

"Remember get ready by eight"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------hey again.

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