A Haunted Coupling (Paper Mario)

A/N: A Haunted Coupling was a commissioned one shot from back in February of 2021. Posting it up here and now for people to enjoy!

Themes: Inhuman Sex, Rough Sex, Oral Sex

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Adam is doing all of this on a dare, just to be clear. He's not so foolish as to find walking through a wooded park just after dark to be FUN, especially when the place is rumored to be haunted. But then, that's what dudes do. They dare each other to do stupid things, like throw rocks at cars, or walk through a haunted wood late at night all alone.

His friends had left him at one end of the park and told him they'd circle around and meet him at the other. If he came out the other side unscathed, then he won. Should be easy enough, right? After all, it's not like Adam actually believed in ghosts. Only, he couldn't help but jump at every little sound that caught his ear around him.

And given that this was a rather densely wooded park, well… there were a lot of sounds. His own movement through the place probably caused most of them, if not directly via his boots snapping twigs, then indirectly by sending critters and such running away from him thanks to his presence. It was night fall, and he was probably the only human out here, so of course the woods would come alive.

OoooOooooO…

What was that? Whipping around, Adam tries to find the source of the strange noise, but he can't see anything. His tension winds up another notch as he uses the light on his phone to try and get a good look at his surroundings. Unfortunately, while the flashlight is good enough to illuminate the ground directly in front of him, so he doesn't trip over a branch and snap his ankle or something, it's not very good for much more than that. Anything ten feet or so away just doesn't get illuminated.

Shivering a bit to himself, Adam continues on his way, trying hard not to get turned around. So long as he keeps going straight down the path, he should be fine. He'll come out the other side of the park and it'll all be over. He just needs to calm his nerves before he gets there, or else they'll think he was scared or someth-

ooooOoooOooo~

Okay, he DEFINITELY heard something that time. Frowning slightly, Adam speaks up.

"Is someone there? Fred? Kelly? James? Is this one of you, trying to fuck with me?"

It would be just like his friends to sneak back into the park halfway through and mess with him. In fact, he almost finds himself relaxing at the thought. It MUST be one of them. All the other noises he's hearing sound like natural forest life, but these weird moans… they're definitely not natural. And he REFUSES to believe they're supernatural.

Scoffing, Adam's racing heart begins to calm as he straightens his spine and continues on his way. He's going to get to the other exit of the park and when they aren't there, he'll just go home and send them all an angry text in respo-

"BOO!"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

It's not just the sudden explosion of noise right in front of his face. A simple 'boo!' would not be enough to jump scare Adam, he'd like to think. It's the 'boo!' combined with the monster that jumps out of him, a glowing green blob with what looks like claws at first, along with a fanged maw. Screaming like a little girl, Adam falls back on his ass, scrambling in the park's underbrush.

After that first moment of terror passes however, the green blob coalesces a bit more and pulls back away from him. What had at first been a horrifying monster, is suddenly just… a round floating spirit with girlish bows on either side of it's head and even expressive eyelashes to make it look distinctly feminine despite it's inhuman shape.

Meanwhile, what he'd thought were claws are just these little stubby hands of sorts, and while she does indeed have fangs, they're much cuter at a second glance, poking out of a mouth that is now grinning widely.

"Ahaha! You've just been boo'd by Lady Bow! No need to thank me, mortal, I know that you're almost certainly astounded by my beauty!"

… She's not really that 'beautiful'. At least, not in any conventional sense of the word. She's quite literally a floating orb. Cute, maybe, but beautiful? Still, Adam knows not to say that out loud, he's not looking to piss off whatever the fuck this is. Lady Bow? 'Boo'd'? Is she… is she a ghost? Is this what ghosts look like? She's almost ethereal in a way, and she looks like nothing he's ever seen before if he's being honest.

Unfortunately, before he can figure out what he SHOULD say in place of insulting the self-identified Lady, Lady Bow's gaze slips down to his crotch… and she notices something at the same time Adam does. His eyes widen and his cheeks flush in embarrassment, while Lady Bow's mouth curls wider and wider in a grin fit for the Cheshire Cat himself. She brings one of her stubby little hands up to her mouth in a failed attempt to cover up her giggles… as she stares down at his tented crotch.

It's not his fault! And it's certainly not because he's aroused by this weird-ass ghost's appearance or anything like that! It's just… ever since puberty, something's been fucked in Adam's head. He can't explain it, but he's sure it's an actual medical condition. Basically, whenever he gets scared by something, if it's enough to really get his heart racing and his blood flowing… well, his blood flows downwards as well. And he gets an erection.

It's weird, and Adam knows it's weird, but it's just how he works. He gets aroused when he gets scared. Scaroused, one might say. It's a real thing, he's pretty sure! Look it up!

Not that that matters to Lady Bow, who giggles a bit more at his crotch tenting before finally removing her little hand from her mouth.

"Oh my… is that because of me?"

Quickly swirling back and forth, the apparently-female green blob looks this way and that before batting her exaggerated eyelashes.

"Well, I don't see any other gorgeous princesses in this park, so it MUST be. My oh my, look what I've gone and done now~"

Before Adam can do or say anything, Lady Bow floats closer to him, licking her lips suggestively with a tongue that's just… way too big in his humble opinion. Still, what can he do? Apparently, nothing but sit there on his ass and watch as Lady Bow pulls out his cock right there on the spot. His erect member stands tall and proud, even as Adam himself is blushing and trembling. Lady Bow looks at his dick and hums to herself for a moment… before promptly swallowing him whole.

H-Holy shit, getting sucked off by a fucking ghost is a whole new experience for him, that's for sure. It's not just her long tongue that slathers along the bottom of his cock from the base all the way to the tip. Nor is it how strange her mouth feels compared to a normal human woman. It's also the way her cute little fangs glide perfectly along either side of his shaft, grazing along his flesh and raising goosebumps all along his cock, but never actually harming him.

And Adam has to reluctantly admit, it's the way she looks up at him while doing all of this, sucking his cock, slobbering on it with her tongue, and grazing it with her little fangs. The heavily lidded look she's giving him seems to be, oddly enough, equal parts haughty indifference and cautious approval seeking. It's like she doesn't care what he thinks… but also like she really, really does.

For his part, Adam is quite conflicted as a low groan spills forth from his lips. On the one hand, it FEELs amazing, hands down the best blowjob he's ever received. On the other hand, he's receiving it from a ghost blob, and he feels a little dirty for enjoying it as much as he is. Perhaps something of his confused feelings shows on his face, because Lady Bow eventually pulls back from his cock, popping it out of her mouth and giving a cute little 'hmph!'

"I see, mortal. You aren't going to give up your chastity easily. Well, I'll just have to bring out the BIG guns!"

His… chastity? Was she equating him cumming to his chastity? As if she wasn't already defiling him? Still, once again Adam doesn't know what to say and in the end says nothing as he watches Lady Bow float back perhaps a foot… and then grab hold of herself and begin to pull. Out of her… chest region, for as much as she has one, the feminine ghost blob pulls the biggest pair of honkers that Adam has ever seen. Her tits are very nearly as big as her entire ball-shaped body by the time she's done, and just as ethereal as well. Each is capped with a slightly more opaque, slightly darker green nipple as she gives a giggle and promptly flops her big fat milk jugs down on either side of his cock.

"Now I'm getting serious!"

Leaning forward, Lady Bow places his cockhead back in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the glans and grazing just the tip of his dick with her cute little fangs. Meanwhile, her breasts slide up and down his shaft, bouncing along like they have a mind of their own. It's a ridiculous sight to be sure, but the sensations are phenomenal. As weird as what he's seeing is, what he's feeling is enough to drive him wild.

Up and down her tits go, and his cock throbs and pulsates between them. His cockhead is being masterfully sucked, and there's just no denying it in Adam's eyes… she's very good at what she does. Eventually, unable to hold back any longer, Adam reaches out and tentatively grabs hold of her tits. It's a strange feeling, and he honestly wasn't sure he'd be able to grab her in the first place.

Sure, she's able to interact with him, but what if it's some weird one-way street thing, where he can feel what she wants him to feel, but he can't physically touch her in turn? But no, in the end he's able to just reach out and grab her massive bazongas, taking ahold of the fat tits with both hands and giving them a nice, long squeeze.

In response, Lady Bow's mouth comes off of his cockhead for a moment so she can lean back slightly and let out a wanton moan. Something akin to a blush spreads across her green face, and she starts to pant from the way he's playing with her. Honestly, Adam can't tell if it's fake or not… but he likes it. He likes it a lot. And so he continues to grope and squeeze her tits, mashing them up against his cock and helping her give him an S-Class titfuck as he toys with her nipples for good measure, tugging and pulling on them once in a while.

In response to Adam's sudden sexual aggression, Lady Bow doesn't back down. If anything, his reciprocation only makes her more eager and enthusiastic in her actions, silencing her own moans by once again taking his cockhead in her mouth, slurping it down as she sucks at it this way and that.

This strange creature, be she a human ghost or something else, is eager to make him cum. In the end, that's exactly what she succeeds in doing.

With a hoarse groan, Adam tilts his head back as he comes to his release. It's not like he's holding back or anything like that… but he has to admit, he never thought he'd be cumming to some strange green blob ghost who could literally grow tits out of her chest. And yet, that's exactly what's happening. Lady Bow swallows his cum with ease, drinking down his seed with aplomb, while Adam groans the entire while, only able to hope that none of his friends were about to show up and find him like this.

That doesn't happen, thankfully… and as his first orgasm ends, Adam finds himself in a bit of a predicament. He's still hard. Did that mean his orgasm had been a ghost orgasm or something? Why was he still erect? With a lust-filled growl, Adam comes off of the forest floor as he stares down at his erection, confused.

Lady Bow, meanwhile, suddenly seems playfully nervous for some reason as she floats back a little bit away from him. Adam realizes he's now towering over her, because she'd floated down to his level. More than that… she's really not all that big, no larger than maybe his torso really, now that he's getting a good look at her. He's not scared anymore, but he IS still aroused… and the adrenaline is still pumping through his veins.

Planting her little hands on her blushing cheeks, Lady Bow looks between his face and his throbbing cock.

"Oh my, that's a very serious face you're making there, mortal. And all while pointing such a dangerous-looking weapon my way too… whatever is a Lady to thin-eep!"

He's beginning to feel like he's got this ghost lady's measure. And so, in the midst of her meandering spiel, Adam reaches out and grabs hold of her. She squeaks and squirms in his grasp, but he's not going to let her get away. Even as her giant tits bounce and jiggle from his sudden grab, Adam… is searching her. He doesn't see it on her front, but that's thanks to her fat tits, he's pretty sure.

Spinning around, he can see what he's looking for, even as ridiculous as it sounds in his head. Ghost pussy. But there it is all the same. This weird green blob has tits and a cunt, and said cunt is staring him right in the face, looking very, very fuckable.

"M-Mortal! D-did I give you permission to m-manhandle me?"

Grinning a little, definitely feeling like he has her measure now, Adam shrugs his shoulders.

"No you did not, Lady Bow. And yet, you did scare me quite badly… I'm due some recompense, the way I figure."

"W-Why, I never! You want m-me to pay Y-YOU back with my b-body?!"

"… You said it, not me."

Before she can respond, he thrusts forward. Unable to wait any longer, his cock positively THROBBING with need, Adam shoves himself up into the ghost lady from behind, holding her by her sides and slamming her back onto his cock. Whatever Lady Bow might have said is lost to time as she lets out a long, wanton, squealing moan instead, her eyes rolling up in her head and her overly large tongue lolling out of her mouth, right beneath her cute little fangs.

It's like… it's like having his own personal onahole, in a way. Holding onto her is nothing like holding onto a woman. It's more like fucking a sex toy, like one of those things that's just the crotch of a woman, the hips, ass, and pussy and that's it. It's strange, but in a way, it's also appealing. None of the legs or arms to deal with and get in the way, Adam supposed.

His cock drives deep into Lady Bow's cunt time and time again as he fucks her, all the while she's squealing and moaning up a storm. Not to mention her tits. He wonders if she's regretting her new tits by this point, because the massive ghostly mammaries are currently bouncing up into her face, jiggling wildly all over the place as he slams her down onto his dick again and again.

That's the other thing. Her pussy feels nothing like a living human's pussy. But then, Adam supposes it wouldn't. He's not necessarily huge by any means, but he is well-endowed. Unfortunately, most of the women he's been with so far in life have had small pussies, leaving him bottoming out inside of them without ever getting to go ball's deep, so to speak.

This is not the case with Lady Bow. Her entire cunt swallows his entire length with every thrust into her. His cock disappears inside of her orb-shaped body time and time again, and her ghostly green backside bounces against his crotch over and over. It feels amazing, to finally go balls-to-the-wall inside of a woman, even if that woman isn't normal by any conventional definition of the word.

It's amazing… and it honestly can't last forever. It feels too damn good, and after what feels like both an eternity and not long enough at all, Adam is letting out a hoarse shout as he finishes inside of Lady Bow. He cums in her and her pussy takes his load just as well as her mouth did, positively slurping his cum up as he fills her to the brim and then some.

It's only after the fact, as he's coming down from the high and experiencing post-coitus clarity, that Adam begins to question what he just did. What if he'd pissed Lady Bow off? What if he'd misread her and the situation, and now he was about to be attacked by a ghost beyond his comprehension?

Luckily, that's not the case. Lady Bow does physically accost him a moment later, but only to grab him by the arm, her new 'chest' wrapping around him on both sides as she looks up at him and sighs happily.

"Ah, my lord… that was… wonderful. Of course, you WILL have to take responsibility."

Blinking, Adam gulps at that.

"Uh… what do you mean?"

Beaming at him, Lady Bow giggles as she begins to tug him along the path.

"Why, after a copulation like that, how are we anything BUT husband and wife? From now on, you are my husband, and as I am a Lady, you are now a Lord! Come, let us return home so we can fornicate some more and maybe even make some heirs!"

Adam's mouth opens and closes soundlessly as he's pulled along. He's about to ask what exactly they're the Lord and Lady of, when they pull out of the woods and find themselves in front of a massive mansion. It's around that point that Adam realizes something very important. He's… not in the park anymore. He isn't sure how long it's been since he WAS in the park, to be frank. Had he entered Lady Bow's lands when he wasn't looking? Had she pulled him here sometime during their sexual encounter, or just now as they were walking along?

… Either way, it doesn't look like he's going to be accomplishing his bet any time soon. In the end, all Adam can do is make the best of the situation…

…

"Wait, did you say HEIRS?!"

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