Something New

~10/11/14~ New Plans

Nora and I had been growing closer since the last time we had spoken to each other. We hung out at the dog park with Zoe, went on walks with her, and enjoyed our time spent together. You may be wondering, how did I get so close to her so quickly? Well, it didn't take much effort after I finally felt comfortable and safe around her. Maybe it's just the simplicity of love and how it attracts two people to each other.

We still hadn't gone on a date yet, and that was my goal. I had it all planned out. Maybe it was too soon to be thinking ahead of myself, but I was only being practical. I knew she was into me, there was no reason why I shouldn't have planned the date.

There was this restaurant downtown called the "Cite". The view was magnificent, and the ambiance was just astonishing.

I couldn't wait to take her there, and since I had been working at the restaurant for three and a half years, I had the money to get a reservation. I can't tell you what her reaction was like because that would just ruin the fun. I mean, you have to give small details but you can't spill too much otherwise you'll just spoil all the good news.

Anyway, we started hanging around each other more often. I got to see Zoe and play with her. The only thing we didn't sort out was inviting each other to our houses. I never got to see what her home was like, nor did she get to see mine. We took baby steps, very small baby steps.

Reggie eventually found out about the two of us but surprisingly, he didn't react. A smile spread across his face as if he were proud of us. I was in the middle of my break when he took a seat next to me. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, seeming exhausted but happy at the same time.

"My daughter has laid eyes on you ever since you first started working here. I don't expect much out of the both of you because Nora has been through countless relationships with people she had never known anything about. Just make her happy, that is all I ask of you."

I felt sorry for him, raising his daughter on his own. He told me a year after I started working at the restaurant that his wife had passed on when Nora was born. I could imagine how that must have felt. Although he is a grown man, I'm sure he still missed her. He told me that her name was Genevieve. It's a beautiful name, I had never heard of it before.

I still think about how having a child of your own is a gift. Sometimes having children is unpleasant, because you don't have the stability to take care of them properly, but you use all your will to raise them. I wondered how Nora must have felt while growing up without a mother. Some people don't deserve to have a family of their own... You know, the abusive ones? The ones who think they'll be a great parent when in reality they don't have their life together? The ones who believe they are entitled to everything in their control?

Children deserve some sort of freedom. Why keep them locked up in the house all day? Because you can't trust them? Simply just say that you made too many mistakes when you were younger and don't put that shame onto your kids because you're afraid they'll repeat them. Everyone makes mistakes, some may be out of line and unforgivable but we all have to learn that we can't change the past. We have to raise our children the right way.

You shouldn't shut them out when they need your help or advice. If we don't get that kind of support from our friends then we need at least someone to listen, which are our parents. Children are often neglected and invalidated. The importance of our children's lives should not be overlooked or taken advantage of. At some point, you have to let them hang out with friends, give them set curfews, and discipline them the right way when breaking the rules. There is no reason to go overboard and be the type of parent to put them on lockdown for a month or more or put the fear of God in them, unless they do something completely wrong.

Moving on from that... I couldn't imagine what Nora was thinking. Probably nothing, but I wouldn't have known if I didn't ask. My parents were always by my side, they always protected me from the real world because they understood what it was like at my age. Nora only had her father, and as nice of a person he was, I'm sure Nora wanted something more than that. Maybe her father was enough for her, maybe he wasn't. I had no idea because I had my parents, and I am in no place to judge.

~10/22/14~ A serious Change

It seemed as if the year was passing by quicker, every time I was with Nora. Would it be fair to say that I preferred to be with her more than on my own? After living by myself for so long and forming some sort of attachment with her, I didn't enjoy the seems of silence. I wanted to admire her beauty and listen to her calming voice. Everything about her seemed perfect to me.

I still felt like a mad man for falling in love... How did it happen so quickly? Can someone really fall in love in the span of only a month? It seems quite impossible to me. How could I blame myself? Nora was and is the most beautiful woman to exist. At least in my world, she is the most adoring person to live on this planet.

It's like you can't live without them. One day you're strangers, and the next you're going on cute little dates together. After having met Nora, I couldn't imagine the world without love. Just the thought of it is mesmerizing. Each time I thought about her, my heart fluttered. It skipped a couple of beats, and I felt like I was lost in a world of my imagination.

She filled the emptiness that was lingering inside me. Of course, nobody seemed to notice how much I had changed. My mind was in a better place and I had an increased will to live, I started going back to that cafe and she came along with me. As I said, Nora was my answer to everything.

It may seem crazy though, right? How someone could be the change in your life? How someone could have that much of an influence on you? It's simple; the love you show others is the lack of love you keep for yourself. Lack of self-love will result in emotional attachment to certain people who may play an important role in your life. While being attached to them, you're craving for that kind of company- you crave the attention and affection.

You've heard and seen people stereotype your atypical teenage girls, right? Like when a girl would do or say something and someone would respond to that by saying that they have daddy or mommy issues? The truth is, some people do have those issues. It's not something to criticize anyone for, it's not their fault if they don't have a father or mother figure in their life. We can't control who stays in our lives, it's not our job. Plus, those who end up leaving us teach us all a valuable lesson. You can't trust anyone to stay by your side, because in the end you only have the ones who truly care, and those are the kind of people you need in your life. Eventually, you'll end up partings ways and going about the world on your own, but that's life and something we all have to accept.

Those who haven't been shown that kind of love as a child will move on in life only to end up getting heartbroken in their teen years, or they learn to be insensitive and self-centered. It's a sad fact, honestly. So many young ones these days are looking for love in all the wrong places. What happened to healthy parenting? Or has that never existed?..

I'm glad Nora was the first woman I fell in love with. I'm not saying that I fell in love with someone else- because that can't happen, I would never be able to move on from Nora even if I'd have to. It was only her luck, not mine. How could I be the lucky one if I never had a girlfriend until then? She had been through previous relationships before we had met. I was new to that kind of stuff, though I already knew a lot about relationships- hence my mother always lectured me when I was a young lad.

I could finally be a man, and I felt like one too. I find it inconvenient when a busy man has boundaries. For so long every day of my life had felt the same, that repeated cycle and tight schedule had me struggling to keep my eyes open while working. I finally had what I wanted, and in my mind, it was everything I needed.

~10/29/14~ Lead the way

Two nights before Halloween, how dreadful. I don't understand why Halloween is a favorite holiday. What's so special about it? There's a bunch of children roaming around neighborhoods for candy and haunted houses. I just haven't really lived up to those standards. Halloween was the only holiday I had ever hated. I grew out of my hatred for it thanks to Nora.

Reggie gave my shift to someone else so that he'd let me make plans with Nora to do something. The last thing that had come to my mind was walking a cornfield maze. She had no idea that I feared mazes. It's like cleithrophobia, the fear of being trapped. The thought of having to decide which way to go made me feel sick to my stomach. Allow me to inform you that the corn maze started at seven o'clock at night and that was an hour after the sun had gone down. I was terrified, and though I knew Nora was with me, I just couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't even get halfway through it without looking behind myself to make sure nobody had been following us.

It felt like a never-ending maze. I was unsure if we were reaching the exit, but I started to see lights and I was relieved. I noticed that the lights seemed to be coming from the ground and began looking for the exit. I turned my head around a corner and right in front of my eyes was an entrance to a pool and small cabin. That was when I had realized that my mother was one-hundred percent right. I'm not saying that she was never right, but I just watched my future flash right before my eyes.

Standing there with the woman whom I fell in love with, I was the happiest man I had ever been. I couldn't have wished for anything else, because with her, there was no other exception. That night had become the most memorable event in my life, aside from my wedding.

After we had spent an hour there, we left. For the first time, she invited me to her home. I immediately became nervous at the thought of it. I wasn't ready to be welcomed into a woman's house. It was beautiful too. Her house was built by a lake, and I had thought that she lived in the city somewhere near me. The exterior was greyish blue, which was my favorite shade of blue. Not only did I fall in love with her, but I also fell in love with her house.

The interior was even better. You know that tan, kind of gray color? That was the color of her walls. Her taste in home decor was extravagant, too. She had framed watercolor paintings in a specific order which was my favorite thing about her decoration style. It was pretty much like a dream house. Two stories high with a wrap-around porch, a basement, three bathrooms, four bedrooms, an attic, and seven acres of land. How could you not want that??

She gave me a tour through every room, even around outside. There was a rope swing tied to the tree next to the lake. It was everything I had dreamed of. The entire area around the tree was like a little playground but for adults. The porch swing tied to a lower branch with string lights wrapped around it made me feel like I was in some sort of romance movie.

After being given the entire tour, we went back inside. She fixed me up a small glass of tequila and bowl of popcorn before watching her all-time favorite Jim Carrey movie, "The Mask". I wasn't much of a fan of his little comedies, but I enjoyed them enough to sit and watch them.

She dozed off and fell asleep an hour into the movie and awoke from her slumber when I turned the tv off. She raised her head off of my legs, she was lying on my lap and I, for some reason, was really anxious. She sat up and scanned the room as if she had seen someone walking through, and then she turned her head, peeking into another room.

I noticed that her eyes were closed, so she couldn't even see. She stood up and began walking sluggishly into the kitchen, mumbling to herself. I was creeped out, but she was obviously sleepwalking and I didn't want to wake her. I stayed seated on the couch until I heard metal dropping to the floor. When I walked into the kitchen, she was standing in front of the knife holder, holding a knife. I quickly took it from her grasp, set it on the counter, and led her back into the living room.

I watched as she slept, and I was nervous. The ambiance of the house was becoming eerie and disturbing. The dark lighting, silence, and breeze smacking against the windows. It felt like I was all alone in the middle of nowhere. As I was sitting there I heard faint footsteps coming from upstairs. I was petrified, and I would've never expected that to happen at her house.

I didn't want to wander off alone and leave Nora by herself, but I had to make sure we were the only ones in there. The floorboards creaked as I crept up the stairs. The lights were off and the only one that wasn't was the one in the bedroom located at the end of the hallway.

I grabbed the nearest object and carefully opened the door. The light shut off as soon as I walked in and I shrieked like a little girl and scurried back down the stairs. I woke up Nora and told her that I had to leave because it was getting late. I kissed her on the forehead and told her that I had a great night and hoped to have fun again soon. I rushed out of the door without saying goodbye.

~11/8/14~ Things Left Unsaid

I met up with Nora at the cafe after work to talk about what happened that night, but I didn't tell her. That was the first time I ate outside the cafe at dusk.