I MISSED YOU

- SERINA -

It's been 5 weeks since I last felt her presence. She hasn't even stepped foot in the palace since then.

I could tell she was trouble the moment I met her. After all, a Grand Duke's daughter should carry herself with dignity and assert her authority.

I'm certain that Devourah liked Her Highness back then. Those words she uttered at Lady Luna's gathering reeked of jealously and anger. Who wouldn't be enraged if she's supposed to be her bride?

Even I felt the jealousy she felt. But who am I to stick around Her Highness' side when I'm just a mere maid of hers? I was brought within the royal residence to serve her, so I'm required to do my task. 

I fell in love not because of her power, but her gentleness. I used to think that just being at her side was enough, but now I find myself yearning for more of the attention she provided me back then.

Since the Duke's daughter stepped in, I felt like I became the side character I'm not supposed to. I'm sure that I'm more fitted to stay by her side. "How come she didn't choose me to be her bride?" That's what I'm asking myself.

Each time passed by and the sight of them together began to irritate me. It came to the point where I mentally cursed Lady Camilla and told myself that I was more deserving than she was. I envy her relationship to her Majesty. Until one day, the Grand Duke's daughter came to knock on my door, uninvited.

She would always check in on me when I was on vacation. She would stay in my house and I'm purely annoyed by her arrogance. "She's just using you to get closer to Helvetica. Don't let her words deceive you." I reminded myself during those times.

It was suspicious. I mean, how can someone fall in love at first sight? How can I believe such a ridiculous explanation? You have to get to know the person before you can court her. That's the way it should be!

But then she began bothering me on a daily basis. Every second and minute of my time was wasted on her. "It'll be much better if she just doesn't visit." I always guard myself whenever I'm with her. Because I'm scared that those actions have a hidden motive.

I closed my heart and pressed my lips together. Pretending that my smile was just out of character. But then, that day came. "And I'm not dumb. I know you're not in-love with me. So please, can you leave me alone? WHAT I LIKE IS HER HIGHNESS AND NOT YOU! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!" But then after saying these words, she took a step back and didn't bother to respond.

The night came on that day and I still can't forget how she just left without even saying a word. Lady Lithia informed me the same night that Camilla and Her Majesty had overheard our chat.

I felt like millions of blocks had been piled on my shoulders. I tried to explain what happened to Lady Camilla. And tried to clear my name in front of Her Highness. It took a lot of courage to speak.

That's the first time I felt the word embarrassment in a nervous way. But I'm glad that they pardoned me and warned me about the possible rumors that might circulate. I was planning to apologize the next day, but there's no Devourah Le Fleur came into the palace. I can't see her trace or even her shadow. 

I'm glad I didn't get to see her that day, since I won't have to make any excuses. I was relieved that no one was bothering me and that I could get on with my work without having to constantly escort her.

But that one day turns into three days. It was odd that she didn't come to visit. Even though we had an argument, she would never give up and would keep on bugging me. After all, the Grand Duke's daughter is the kind of person who won't listen and will just do whatever she likes.

"Did I hurt her?"

"Why wouldn't she come?"

"Did she get fed up with my attitude?"

"Is she giving up?"

I figured it'd be better if she just stopped. However, my system began looking for her, and it came to the point where I couldn't focus on my work. I'd just stare at the floor the entire time, waiting for someone to pay a visit.

I get too overly thrilled whenever I hear a knock on the door, hoping it will be her. But then, I started to get disappointed. 

Lady Camilla would stare at me with such a puzzled expression, and all I could ever respond with was a modest smile. Her Highness Helvetica will ask me if I'm okay, and I will just reason out that I'm tired.

I was going to forget about the Grand Duke's daughter. But all the faces started to look like her. It's been 5 weeks and yet why am I still waiting for her?

Perhaps, I missed the days when she would tease me all the time to get my attention. I missed waiting on the gate to greet her with annoyance in my face. Perhaps, I missed how she would pick any flowers in the garden and place them behind my ear. I missed how she would call for my name to bother me.

I missed how she's confident that I'm going to be her bride. I missed that time where she would always hold my hand. I've never imagined crying for someone, so why am I wasting my tears on her? "Are you ok?" I hate how I cried in front of Her Majesty because of her.

I hate how Lady Camilla will hug me just because of her. I hate how they saw this side that I only experienced because of her. My life was ideal when she was around. But why does it feel different without her?

I thought I was in love with Her Highness, but then she came in running and ruined everything. Can someone blame me? I was just protecting myself from getting hurt. But here I am, crying over some woman I just met not a long time ago.

"She would never come back, wouldn't she? She hates me. She'd never come back after what I'd said." I could feel Lady Camilla's pat on the back as I continued to vent like a little child.

"Who told you those things?" I was frozen in my position as soon as I heard the voice. It was odd, but I had chills and my entire body just stopped working.

And as I turned around, there she was, chuckling as she took a step forward. "I'm curious as to why you never react to my letters. It looks like Her Highness has something to do with it." Helvetica, on the other hand, shrugs while Lady Camilla smiles and glances at me.

"Come on, isn't it effective and entertaining?" Devourah was about to spit out some more words when Her Highness started to chuckle as she waved her hand. "It's time to put an end to your little couple quarrel. You're both irritating in my eyes."

As they walked away, I looked at her once again. I felt like my throat began to dry up as I bit my bottom lip. "Do you missed—" But even before she could add another statement, I hugged her tightly. I can feel her small pats on the back of my head as I can hear her laughing. "You told me you were in love with Helvetica and now you're acting like a child."

"Did you wait for me?" I nod as a response. "I was simply finishing up some paperwork. I squandered far too much of my time. I also chose to give you some distance and give you some time. I annoy you far too much."

"I thought you were angry. I thought you would never come back. You kept me waiting for 5 weeks without even sending me a letter. I spent too much time writing and I never even received any feedback!"

"I wrote you a letter, but it looks like Helvetica didn't give it to you. I explained why I haven't been able to visit for the past few weeks. I assumed you'd already read them, but all I ever got was a letter from you, accusing me of being a jerk for not coming."

"That's why I opted to come here instead of going to work."

"I'm back, Serina." She wipes my tears while giving me a smile.

"I missed you."