Chapter 123

After having been awake since sunrise he reentered the tent and placed a hand on Hydrangea's shoulder.

"I'm awake." She answered and he noticed that her rather pleasant lilt was gone.

He grunted and began to roll up the blankets and furs. She sat up and he saw that her hair was tufting out of her bandage. He decided it was best not to say anything.

When they'd packed up the entire camp he climbed onto Tree and hoisted her up so she sat behind him.

"Does your side still hurt?" She asked and he realized that she was worried about hurting him if she wrapped her arms around his waist.

He shook his head and pulled up his mask and hood, "No, it's not nearly as painful as it was a few days ago."

He soon felt her arms slowly wrap around his waist and he heeled Tree to begin trotting away from the camp.

The days passed slowly and Bastian immediately sensed that Hydrangea was distant. He always felt the guilt wrap round him like a vice, he just wished that she would open up to him. But he knew that she was ashamed, though he wished she wouldn't be.

After more than a week had passed since the incident they arrived at the Great Ice Plains. He looked across the large breadth of lake that stretched for what looked like eternity.

This was the route that the bartender had given him. The mountains were too hazardous, what with the snow jaguars, cavern lizards and avalanches, so he'd told him that the Great Ice Fields were a safer bet. He was very much doubting that at the moment.

"This is where we're going?" Hydrangea asked from behind with a sliver of awe in her voice.

He thinned his lips as he squinted his eyes, surveying the massive, white expanse, "It would appear so."

She sighed and he took that as an okay.

He edged Tree down the gentle, icy, slope and as soon as the gelding's hooves hit the snow below he sunk a few feet.

Bastian sighed and pressed the animal on further. The map said that Domkorolei, the Tzar's dwelling, was at the end of these fields.

The trek started out smoothly, save the biting cold that attacked them at almost every moment waking or sleeping.

"Are you alright?!" He called back over the wind that had begun blowing off of the mountain peaks that popped up sparsely amidst the ice.

"Yes!" She answered. He could tell that her head was buried in his back, her arms were wrapped so tightly around him that breathing was difficult, but it meant that she wouldn't fall off so he was fine with not breathing.

They camped in a nook in one of the mountains. The wind couldn't get into the cave because a rock blocked it, and so they were sheltered enough. They'd packed a few bundles of firewood and so they huddled before the heat.

He looked across from him and Hydrangea met his gaze momentarily before her eyes looked away.

He sighed and pulled his bedding from him pack, "The fire will not stay lit the whole night."

"I know." She answered coldly.

He nodded and laid his head down on a roll of wool. She did the same on the opposite side of the fire.

It felt like things were back to square one again; them butting heads at every interval.

He sighed and drifted off to a, luckily, dreamless sleep.

When he awoke Hydrangea was already awake and packing up her belongings. He rolled over and decided he might as well get up too.

They ate a small meal of squirrel meat and then packed up the used firewood and set off.

The wind had calmed down but he had a feeling that it would start up again in the evening.

And it did. For three days and nights the wind would begin in the mid-afternoon and rage until early morning.

He saw evidence of furred seals everywhere; the large sink holes in the ice, but he decided not to tell Hydrangea. She was still recovering from the snow jaguar, and the attempted raping, she didn't need anymore on her mind.

On the fifth day of being on the ice fields no wind came.

"That's odd." Hydrangea muttered from behind him.

"It is." He muttered back his voice quiet, feeling as though a loud voice would suddenly bring the thundering wind back.

The entirety of the fields was the brightest white and so he always kept to staring at Tree's neck and occasionally glancing up to keep from going snow blind.

He could see that Domkorolei was close; beyond the ice fields by just a few kilometres was a barrier of mountains. Just beyond that, should be the Tzar.

"But we're close!" He announced in a chipper voice, trying to lighten the dim atmosphere of the past few days.

The six feet deep snow that sat above the ice was eerily still compared to previous afternoons.

They marched on, Bastian's eyes ever chary for furred seals.

He, out of nowhere, felt Hydrangea's warmth removed from his back. He spun Tree by pulling on the reins and saw her standing just a few feet from him.

"Hydrangea? What are you doing, get back on the horse." He said in a hissing voice as he glanced behind him. They were so close.

She remained fixed in her position, her gloved fists clenched at her sides.

He hopped off of tree and onto the deep snow that rose to his thighs, along with hers. She must be freezing.

"You know… it's not that cold." She said in a whisper.

"What?" He asked as he still stepped towards her.

"The snow, the wind, the ice. None of it's been cold."

He tilted his head as realization dawned on him. He'd seen sailors and soldiers in shock from many things fall into the cold waters and not feel the frigidity.

"Hydrangea, we need to get back on Tree."

"No!" She demanded and stomped her foot. He took in a breath at her immaturity, "I need to think." She said and she held her head with her hand. Her bandage had since been removed.

"Hydrangea." He said exasperatedly, "Do you not understand that Tzar Matvey is just over those mountains? I know that you've been through an ordeal but this is no reason-"

"Stop it!" She yelled and watched him with both angry and brittle eyes, "You don't get to say…" she looked away and crossed her arms underneath the swell of her breasts, "I just need to think."

"Think on what? Couldn't this possibly wait until we're in a warm castle with a hot meal?"

"No! No. You, just stop. Just stop. Who put you in charge? I don't remember Hadok electing you as our leader before he died." She spat and he saw such an array of emotion in her eyes.

His brows furrowed, "What does Hadok have to do with any of this?"

"He has to do with all of this!" She raised her hand indicating the ice fields around them. Her eyes burned into him with such hate that his heart and step faltered, "Why did he want for you to be saved? Why? If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't be here! I wouldn't have had to kill a snow jaguar I wouldn't have been nearly defiled! This entire journey and everything that has happened to me is because of you!"

His eyes darkened but he knew it was true.

"Hadok dying is because of you!" Her voice sounded raw and he just watched her with fists clenched. He was angry, he felt like hitting something, stabbing something to get rid of this hate.

It was all because of him, he knew it. She did not have to remind him.

He glared at her and took a step forward. He was tired of this and her hatred towards him. As his foot landed on the snow beneath him he heard a fatal cracking sound.

Looking up at Hydrangea he saw the snow caving beneath her.