Chapter 136

Hydrangea stirred beneath the heavy blanket. She could tell that it was morning by the dim light that made its way beneath her lids. She groaned and curled her wrists closer to her chest.

"Hydrangea…" A voice said next to her, his tone teasing almost.

She groaned again at how heavy her head felt. She rolled over and squinted her eyes open in the painfully bright light. Hydrangea blinked a few times and eventually her gaze focused in on Bastian. He was lying down next to her, his head supported by his elbow as he watched her with a lazy grin.

Her eyes narrowed and she raised her curled hands to rub them. Once she'd completed that task she reopened her eyes to see he was still watching her, the same expression on his face.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, his voice calm and his face happier than she'd ever seen it.

She groaned and moved her head to look at the top of the bed, placing her hand on her forehead she groaned again.

"I think so." She answered with her voice still thick with drowsiness.

"Do you feel well?"

"No." She felt awful. She blinked as she tried to remember why she felt so terrible. She remembered that after the dance, she wanted some wine. She remembered being so exhausted by her emotions that she'd just wanted them silenced.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" He asked, his voice tinged with doubt.

Her brows drew together.

"So, you don't?" He answered his question, his voice sounding upset.

"I… I remember drinking the wine, then… the Tzar?" It was all so blurry.

He sighed in aggravation and stood. She turned her head but squinted in the painful morning light that was streaming through the windows behind him.

Sitting up, she caught her head again, it had begun pounding.

"Drink this." He said tiredly next to her. She peeked her eyes open and saw a goblet with water in it. She gladly downed the refreshment, but her drowsiness did not leave her.

"What happened last night?" She asked, watching him carefully. Blocking out the painful headache.

He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her.

He chuckled sadly and she frowned in something near concern. "You said you loved me. I don't know why I could think it was true, you were drunk, been talking with the Tzar who's convinced that you must love me."

While he went on with his words she was tugging on her lip. She'd told him? What was wrong with her? She wanted to pull her hair out. How could she have done that?

She looked up when she realized he'd stopped talking. He was watching her with heart wrenching pain in his eyes, she could almost see a tear.

"You really don't love me?" He asked, like a lost boy begging for direction.

Her heart was stung by the torment behind his captivating brown eyes.

She took a breath, cursing herself for saying this aloud, or even saying it at all.

"I…" She met his eyes, they watched her with no hope whatsoever, as if he was expecting her to deliver the final blow. She hesitantly moved her hand to cover his, "I do love you."

His eyes brightened and she began to panic, "It's just I can't, I shouldn't. I mean you're you, and I'm me and it was never supposed to-"

His lips met hers. She stilled. His hand moved so that it formed her waist, her eyes widened as her heart began to beat faster.

He leaned back after realizing her fright. She smacked her lips together, and her eyes darted from place to place, unsure of where to look.

His free hand moved to hold her jaw gently, "Hydrangea, look at me."

Her nervous eyes settled on his. His brown eyes were wide open, as if she could see all of his emotions in them. She could see joy, worry, agitation, affection, there were too many to name.

"Are you being honest, are you still under the effects of the alcohol? Or are you being honest, do you… do you really feel the same way?"

Her heart was pounding in her ears, her skin was feeling that warm tingling feeling spreading from his touch.

Releasing a shuddering breath, she said, "I-I do."

He laughed, a true laugh. Her lips parted as she watched the utter happiness light his entire face.

His hand moved to hold the other side of her face. With a gleam in his eye, he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes widened, "Why are you asking?" She'd always thought that he would just kiss her, without ever asking.

He chuckled, "Because of how frightened you look. Now, can I kiss you?" His voice lowered and her breath hitched.

She sensed that this kiss would be more intimate and more… intense than the peck on the lips he'd just given her.

"Why?" She asked, not hiding her hesitancy. His thumb stroked near her temple softly, causing a pleasurable warmth to spread from there.

"Because, I've wanted to taste those lips for awhile now, and you keep teasing me." He grinned lopsidedly, "It will also be a fabulous way to celebrate our love for one another."

She blinked, clenching her fists above the blanket. She wasn't quite sure what to think, "What will it be like?"

He chuckled, "Is that a yes?"

"Well, no. I didn't say yes. Bastian-" He promptly silenced her with a kiss.

Her lids flitted shut as she suddenly felt a surge of warmth envelope her being. Her stomach came alive with fluttering thrills. His lips felt so soft, so firm against hers. She didn't know what to do but he kept moving, slowly. Slowly moulding his lips against hers as he took her breath. She could taste him, her entire body felt flushed from this realization.

Her arms unconsciously moved to wrap around his neck, hanging there as his hands moved to her waist. She began to move her lips in a synchronized rhythm with his, feeling him in a way she would never have thought possible.

He separated and she panted for breath, she hadn't realized that she'd almost stopped breathing.

He rested his warm forehead against hers. She was fighting to open her eyes, she wanted to savour that feeling. She eventually fought her eyelids open, meeting his calm, serene, blissfully happy brown ones.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" He asked, his hands gently squeezing her waist.

Her cheeks tinged a deeper red and she struggled to maintain eyes contact. How could she answer his question? It was… it was… indescribable.

She smiled nervously, "No."

He sighed happily and pecked her forehead. She fought the urge to giggle at the rush of happiness she felt from it. Bastian had kissed her, then he'd kissed her forehead in such a… loving way. Oh, she loved it.

She wanted to hide beneath the covers, this was too much. Was loving someone supposed to make you this happy?

She removed her arms from around his neck quickly and he gave her a teasingly chiding look.

His hand began to reach farther around her waist till he was hugging her. Her face was planted in his chest. She looked around, confused, "Bastian?"

"Yes." He mumbled into her hair. Her eyes closed at the feel of his breath brushing her scalp.

"What are you doing?" She asked, very tempted to snuggle into his warmth and deeply inhale his comforting scent.

"I wanted to savour these last moments with you."

She tensed and pushed him back, "You mean, you're still not taking me to Selva with you?"