Chapter 19: Master Ace

Seph's POV

(Flashback)

Have you ever felt so lonely kahit na marami kang kaibigan at maraming sumusuporta sa'yo? 'Yung tipong alam mo na andyan sila but then, pakiramdam mo, wala ka pa rin kasama at mag-isa ka lang. Well, that's how I felt for the past 18 years of my life. Sure I have my loving family, and I have my good old friends Lucas and Joker, my bandmates and my fans, but then, I still feel so lonely. Pakiramdam ko, may kulang but I really don't know what it is.

I have money, my car, my time and I can buy all I want, but still, something's missing. I thought kailangan ko lang ng pampalipas oras so I tried dating lots of girls and then dump them after a week once na magsawa ako. I never became happy, I still felt incomplete.

My life is perfect from what everybody sees, but not from my perspective. Now, I'm all alone sa rooftop ng dorm namin and I'm standing at the edge at isang hakbang ko na lang, I'll attain this eternal peace and hindi na ako maghahanap ng kung anong kulang sa buhay ko since wala na ako sa mundo.

It's 5:30 p.m. now, January 2nd of 2019 and it 's my birthday but I've decided to end my life at this date as well. Ayoko na mabuhay since I don't know what my purpose is in life. Para sa akin, ang pinaka maayos na madadatnan ko na lang before I leave is itong papalubog na araw...

I was about to step from the edge and handa na ako tumalon sa rooftop, when suddenly, I heard someone, a guy singing, at papunta siya sa rooftoop. I need to act fast bago niya pa ako makita na magpakamatay. But then the voice of this guy got louder habang papalapit na siya sa rooftop and he was singing "Sound of silence". Habang naririnig ko siya, my heart just melted na para bang gusto ko pa siya pakinggang kumanta. Pero, ayaw ko na rin at pagod na ako so I closed my ears para hindi ko siya marinig.

And as soon as I was about to jump off, someone shouted, "Saglit! 'Wag ka tumalon!" then hinila niya ako pababa so nabagsak ako sa katawan niya at hindi ko sinasadya.

"Aray ko, potek! Arghh! Baliw ka ba? Bakit ka magpapakamatay?" the guy shouted habang magkapatong ang katawan namin, "You're too heavy! Get off me!"

Agad akong tumayo and I also helped the guy na humila sa akin pababa to stand up. Nagpunas muna siya ng mga alikabok na napunta sa t-shirt and shorts niya then he scolded me again.

"Hoy! Kung magpapakamatay ka, please don't do it here! Isa pa, bakit ka tatalon? What were you thinking?" he shouted na parang inis na inis siya and he was so worried even though hindi niya ako kilala.

I didn't say anything to the guy that's scolding me. Tinalikuran ko siya and naglakad ako muli papunta sa edge ng rooftop to jump but then tumakbo siya at hinarangan niya ako.

"Anong gagawin mo? Magpapakamatay ka na naman? Tapos ano? Paglalamayan ka ng family and friends mo? Tingin mo they'll be happy?" the cute little guy said.

Hindi ko ulit siya kinausap and tinulak ko siya papalayo sa akin since he can't stop me now from attempting to jump off this building.

"Ayaw mo talaga magpatinag ah?" the cute little guy shouted, then nakaramdam ako ng bigat sa right leg ko only to find out na nakayakap siya doon to prevent me from walking.

"Get off me!" I shouted and pinipilit kong alisin ang legs ko mula sa pagkakayakap niya.

"No! If hindi ko 'to gagawin, 'you'll kill yourself! So hindi ako aalis dito! Kahit hanggang bukas tayo dito! Tatawag ako ng mga security guard!" he shouted while nakayakap pa rin siya sa right leg ko.

"Why do you even care? Do you even know who am I?" I asked him.

"No, hindi kita kilala, but kahit na, nag aalala pa rin ako, tsaka first time ko lang makakita nito sa buong buhay ko! Akala ko sa teleserye ko lang makikita 'to! Ayaw ko makakita ng lusaw na katawan!" he shouted.

And what he said made me laugh. He sounded so stupid but at the same time, he's so adorable.

"Get off me, I won't jump anymore. Hindi na ako magpapakamatay?" I said.

"Sure ka?" he asked me habang nakatingala siya sa akin and he looks so cute na parang gusto ko siyang tirisin.

"Yes." I said then tinanggal niya ang pagkakayap sa right leg ko then I said, "For now. Pag wala ka dito, I'll kill myself again. Maybe tomorrow? I'll lock this rooftop so nobody can stop me." I said.

Then niyakap niya na naman ang right leg ko and this time, kinagat niya pa ang right leg ko at kinurot. "Aray ko! Why would you do that! Masakit! Stop biting me!"

Then this cute little guy stopped biting me and he stood up. He looked right in front of my eyes and said, "Sa kagat tsaka kurot ko pa lang nasasaktan ka na. What more if bumagsak ka mula rooftop papunta sa sahig? Baliw ka ba?" he said.

This guy is really something... I wasn't able to speak sa sinabi niya sa akin like he's right. Sa ginawa niya pa lang na pagkagat, nasaktan na ako. What more if tumama na ang katawan ko sa lupa.

"Bakit di ka makasagot? Oh ano? Speechless ka ngayon? Tapang-tapangan ka pa na mag susucuide ka? Sayang lang punta ko dito sa rooftop!" he said then started walking away from me.

"What's your name?" I asked him then he stopped walking pero nakatalikod pa rin siya sa akin.

"Ace." he said.

So this guy that I've met for the first time is Ace, and he was able to stop me from killing myself.

"Can you stay here for a while?" I asked him and hindi ko alam kung papayag siya, but I'd be happy if he will.

Naglakad siya papunta sa mini gazeebo and sat on one of the chairs.

"Come." he ordered me and I didn't know why but bigla na lang sumunod ang body ko sa kanya like he was taking over my mind.

I sat down beside him and he didn't even asked my name, but that's fine. As long as I know this guy's name, it's okay for me.

"So what's the deal? Anong pumasok sa utak mo?" he asked while giving me this cold serious tone na para siyang naiinis sa akin.

"I don't know... I feel incomplete. Pakiramdam ko wala akong purpose sa mundo. I'm not happy kahit nasa akin na ang lahat." I said to Ace.

"'Yun lang? Seryoso ka? 'Yun na 'yun?" he said and laughed.

"What's so funny about that?" I asked Ace.

"Kasi, nakakatawa 'yang mindset mo. Anong incomplete? Anong walang purpose? Hindi totoo 'yan! If feeling mo wala kang purpose, edi find one! Create one! Get one! Uggh! People these days!" Ace said, and think he's right. Hindi ko naisip 'yung sinabi niya. I was speechless and I wasn't able to answer him.

"Oh ngayon, napaisip ka? Ngayon, magisip ka ng purpose mo sa buhay. Hindi kita iiwanan dito hangga't di ka nakakasagot!" he said.

"Even if we end up staying here for a month? Years? Decades?" I asked him.

"Please, 'wag kang O.A.? Walang gano'n." he said and laughed.

"Eh ikaw, what's your purpose in life? Do you feel complete?" I asked him.

"My purpose in life? Gusto ko lang maging masaya. Yes, complete ako sa pakiramdam ko, since I still have my 5 senses working. Isn't that enough? Isa pa, everybody feels incomplete at times and it's human nature." he answered.

"If magpapaalam ako sa'yo na magsusuicide ako, would you come get me again?" I asked him.

"Seryoso ka? Magpapaalam ka pa sa akin? Gusto mo itali kita sa lobby ng di ka makatalon sa building?" Ace answered.

"Then are we friends?" I asked him again.

"Sa akin, oo, since were engaging. Ewan ko lang sayo if you think that I'm just a nobody." Ace answered.

"Can you give me a hug?" I asked him with a serious face then he looked at me and he was disgusted.

"No! Ayoko!" he exclaimed.

"Can I lay next to your left shoulder?" I asked him once more.

He paused and gave me a sigh and said, "Go ahead. It won't hurt me."

I moved closer to Ace's body and I gently laid my head to his left shoulder. I don't know why but I felt something when my body touched his. He was warm, and I can also feel his heartbeat. It was beating fast but hindi ko na sinabi sa kanya.

Nakasandal lang ako sa shoulder ni Ace and we were watching the sun go down and I've never felt so peaceful and happy in my life.

"Ace?"

"Yes? Anong problema mo? You want something again?"

"Pwede bang dito ka lang muna sa tabi ko hanggang mag umaga?" I asked him

"May choice ba ako? Isa pa, you might attempt to jump off the building so might as well stay with you for the night." Ace answered.

"Why?" I asked Ace.

"What do you mean by 'Why'?" he asked.

"Bakit ka pumapayag? Why do you care so much?" I asked him.

"I barely know you, but hindi naman kita pwedeng iwanan ng basta. Isa pa, you'll need someone right now. I don't know if sino ang kailangan mo, but I know that you'll need somebody to be with you. Someone you can lean on... like you are doing now, literally. And I can't let you die. If hinayaan kita, it means that I don't care about someone's life and I'm not that kind of person." Ace answered and it touched my heart.

"Don't you know who I am?" I asked since everybody knows me.

"No? I intend not to. I don't want to know your name. Just stay here with me and yun na. Don't jump off the building. Please." he answered.

He's the only person that I know na hindi ako kilala, and hindi niya ako gustong iwanan in times like these when everybody only sees me and wants to be with me at my best. But this guy, he doesn't even know me but here he is at my lowest and worst part of my life, but he cares about me.

"Birthday ko ngayon." I said.

"Talaga? Then you want your birthday to be your deathday as well? Baliw ka na nga talaga." he answered.

"Can you sing for me?" I asked him.

"No! Disgusting! Why would I sing for you?" he refused.

"As your gift. Kung hindi, tatalon ako." I said.

"What do you want me to sing!" he replied with an angry tone.

"Sound of silence." I answered.

He sighed and I stayed quiet and waited for him to sing. As soon as he started singing, I closed my eyes and as I heard his cold and melting voice, all the loneliness and sadness that I felt for the past 18 years, slowly fading away.

In my mind, he's a guy, but in my heart, he was an extraordinary person. I don't see him as a guy or a girl, but just as a person that cared for me kahit na kakakilala niya pa lang sa akin.

I realized that this is the attention that I needed. The attention na I'm still important and the attention that I was longing for the whole time. I never thought that it would come from a guy like him.

Ace... I'll never forget this day and your name and how you look at kung paano mo ko pinigilan in attempting suicide. You may forget me in just a week, months or years, but I won't forget you. You are the very first person to touch my heart and saved me from this miserable life.

After that day, hindi na naalis si Ace sa utak ko. As in I was living my life just for him and him alone. 'Yung tipong para kay Ace na lang ako bumabangon. That's how huge his impact in my life is. In just one little encounter, I was able to create and find my own purpose... and that's to make sure that I won't see Ace crying in front of me even though he has this strong personality and alam ko na hindi siya madaling matibag.

Even though na I'll be watching him from a far, I'll be happy as long as I see him happy. And once na we have another little encounter, I'll make sure to get to know him better.

Well, the next encounter I had with Ace is that when I saw him at the manga library slash bookstore and he was trying to search for a book sa isang shelf. I really wanted to talk to him, but it has been a year maybe since we last talked and that was when I attempted in jumping off the building. He might not remember me anymore since hindi niya alam ang pangalan ko and he didn't even asked my name that time. He's weird but at the same time he's too adorable, and cute, and huggable, and sobrang dami. Too many words to explain or to describe him.

I was watching him and bumubwelo lang talaga ako from a far and I was waiting for a sign. If mahulog sa floor ang kinukuha niyang book, magpapakilala ako sa kanya and this time, I won't let him go, ever again. But if hindi, I'll stay on the background and watch him from a far.

And ayun... the book fell through his hands and binilisan ko ang pagtakbo so that I can catch up to him. I grabbed the book that fell on the floor and inabot ko sa kanya, "I believe this is yours?"

He looked at me and I was waiting if he'll recognize me or hindi na. Sadly, he doesn't remember me anymore. But that's fine, dahil isang beses niya lang ako nakita and afterwards, nagtago na ako sa buhay niya.

"Hmm, March 2020/1? I think this is a BL book. Am I right?" I asked.

""Yes, BL book nga 'to. Why? You have a problem with that?" Ace said and hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. He's still this stubborn person that I met from the first time I saw him.

"I think it will be very interesting kung magbabasa ako ng BL story. I haven't read one yet and I think lots of girls love this kind of genre. Pero this is the first time na nakakita ako ng guy na reading this kind of stuff. Does it mean na you're..." I have to know if maybe, I'll have a chance or if he likes guys, but if not, that's fine. Dadahan-dahanin ko siya until he falls in love with me.

Well, he said that he was straight, but I doubt since he's reading a BL book. But if this is what he likes, then I'll need to make sure na we can talk about something na he will be interested with. That's why I've decided to buy the book so we can get closer.

Hinila ko siya papunta sa counter and I got carried away. Nasobrahan lang ako sa tuwa since for the longest time, I was able to talk to Ace. But then, nagalit siya dahil I was too aggressive.

"Sino ka ba?" he asked.

Now is the perfect time. Last time he didn't asked my name, but now, once I tell you my name, I won't ever let you go... my Master Ace.

End of Chapter 19