23

Saying the car ride to Jay's place was awkward would be an understatement. I wanted to say something to Karter but I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say? I don't know if I love him, I should though. He's pretty much the greatest guy I've ever dated but I can't give him false positives when I'm not sure of how I feel. I feel like utter shit. I should know whether I love him or not why the fuck is my mind so jumbled all the damn time.

I kept glancing at Karter but he didn't look at me once, his jaw was clenched and his gaze was on the road. I felt so bad, he was clearly hurt but what can I even say or do to make it up to him right now? I don't want to lie to him.

"You okay?" I ask Karter as we stand outside Jay's house. Karter shrugs, not looking at me directly. I was going to say something to him but the door is opened by the birthday boy.

"Hi, Hi, Hi!" Jay squeals pulling me into a hug. Jay was dressed to impress as always. He was wearing black jeans, a turtle neck shirt with a printed sweater on top. He was glowing. Seeing him instantly brightened my mood and bought a smile to my face.

"Happy Birthday!" I squeeze him tightly, "27 has never looked this handsome"

Jay waves his hand across my face, "Oh stop it" he says bashfully and his eyes fall behind me, "Speaking of dashing" I see him eye Karter.

"This is Karter," I say gesturing to Karter introducing them, "And this is the birthday boy aka Jay"

"Karter Alan, I have heard so much about you" Jay smiles at him.

"All good things I hope?" Karter says sheepishly.

"Surprisingly yes" Jay smiles.

"It's finally nice to put a face to Maria's other half" Karter smiles.

"Please come on in" Jay gestures making way for us to walk inside the house. Jay walks over to greet some other people leaving Karter and me alone.

"He seems nice" Karter smiles.

I intertwine my arm with him, "Let me introduce you to everyone else" I said dragging him over to Sebastian, Olivia, and Gemma.

....

"Hi, hi, hi" I hear someone say as I felt a hand on my back. I turn around to see Allan smiling at me. I wrap my arm around his neck giving him a quick hug as he kisses me on my cheek.

"I love your outfit!" I say looking at him up and down, he was wearing a striped black and white two-piece button-down shirt and shorts set but the stripes were on one half and the other half was black. He looked very fashionable and funky.

Allan gives me a full 360 of his outfit, "right?" he smiles, "just felt like stealing the spotlight from Jay on his big day"

I laugh, "Of course, Of course. Gotta be a dick"

"Always" Allan grins brightly.

Karter walks back to me and hands me a glass of wine.

"Allan, this is Karter." I smile at him.

"Oh, what a pleasure sir" Allan smirks at him shaking his hand.

"The pleasure is all mine, big fan of your music" Karter smiles.

"Oh thank you" Allan pauses, "From what I've heard I quite like you, you might be the first decent guy she's dated"

Karter shrugs, "I try," he says.

"Have you seen Allison anywhere?" Allan looks towards me looking around the room.

"She's not coming," I say.

Allan almost pouts at me, "Why?"

"She had a thing she couldn't get out of" I shrug casually.

"Oh" Allan looked defeated.

"Even if she came, Ali has a boyfriend now Allan. You shouldn't get your hopes up every time." I say as I place my hand on his shoulders.

"Yeah" He sighs, "I'm going to get a drink" He smiles weakly at Karter and I, "I'll catch up with you guys later" and walks away.

"Who's Allison?" Karter asks stepping in front of me so we're standing face to face.

"She's Allan's ex," I say.

"Wait" a scowl now appearing on his face, "Allan is straight?"

"Yeah?" I furrow my eyebrows at him confused.

Karter lets out a bitter laugh, "Were you ever going to tell me that?"

"Why does his sexuality concern you?" I say.

Karter rolls his eyes, "You never mentioned your best friend who you're attached to the hip with essentially 24/7, who you share everything with, who at times even share a bed with is straight" He snaps.

"Why does that matter?" I shake my head in disbelief.

"Oh c'mon" Karter's head falls back.

"Have you guys fucked?" Karter asks through gritted teeth.

"You're not serious," I say growing mad.

"Have you?" Karter snaps at me yet again.

"No, I know you are someone who easily gets jealous but seriously? Am I not even allowed to have guy friends now?" I snap at him, I look around to see if we're attracting attention to ourselves but our voices were hushed so no one knew what was going on.

"A guy who you spend all your time with, who you get along with so well and you expect me to not feel any type of way?" Karter grunts.

I roll my eyes, "He's my friend, he's literally family. I have known him for years, it's never been like that between us, we have only ever been platonic and that feeling is very mutual. If we wanted to date or hook up or whatever, we would've done it by now. His gender does not matter, he's my friend. What is wrong with you?" I glower at him.

"Listen to me Maria" Karter points a finger at me, "I am not going to be with the girl who has feelings for someone else and hasn't realized it yet. I am in love with you but it seems like you're waiting on someone else who is not me" Karter snaps.

I open my mouth to say something when I see Jay and Nayel walking our way so I stop myself.

"Hi, there stranger, been a minute" Nayel smiles embracing me in a friendly hug.

"Yeah, how are you?" I ask.

"Quite swell can't lie" Nayel smiles ever so politely, his tone makes me smile.

"This is my boyfriend Karter Alan" I said introducing them.

"Nice to meet you" Nayel smiles and Karter simply nods and puts on a very obvious forced smile.

Jay was too distracted looking around which I am grateful because he could easily see something was up between Karter and I.

"Shit, we've run out of drinks" Jay whines in his semi-drunken state, "Y'all drink too much" He exclaims quite loudly at the crowd and they laugh.

"I can stop by the liquor store and get some if you'd like" Karter offers and turn my head to stare at him.

"Can you?" Jay smiles lazily.

"Yeah, of course, consider this my birthday present" Karter smiles at Jay.

"Perfect" Jay looks at me, "I really like him" he says causing Karter to chuckle.

"You don't have to go," I say to Karter.

"It's fine" He states flatly.

"Let me come with you," I say.

"No, you stay with your friends," Karter says rather coldly and walks away before I could say another word leaving me with Jay and Nayel.

Nayel flashes me a pity smile as if he could sense the tension in the air between us was thick while Jay just giggles, "he's so hot" he says to me and I nod smiling. He sure is.