11

Throughout the car ride, I was sniffling in the backseat, I don't know if the Uber driver noticed but she was kind enough not to bring it up or make judgmental eyes at me through the rearview mirror.

I get out of the car and take the elevator up to Jay's floor, the 5th floor. I wipe the tear running down my cheek as I ring the doorbell. I had no makeup on, my hair was wet in this oversized hood, I was wearing black jeans and my eyes were red and puffy from all the crying.

To my surprise, the door was opened by Nayel. Nayel was wearing a navy blue plaid button-down shirt with black jeans.

Nayel's face immediately softens once he sees me, "Maria? Are you alright?"

I sniffle, "Hmm hi I didn't know you would be here." Nayel stares at me expectantly, "Sorry to bother you, is Jay here? I really need to talk to him right now"

"He's out getting dinner and some groceries," Nayel looks at me bug-eyed.

"Oh well, I won't bother you. Tell him I stopped by?" My voice coming out as a whimper.

"You clearly don't want to be alone right now, come in, please. Jay will be here soon." Nayel insists, I sniffle and walk inside Jay's apartment.

"Jay and I were watching the Lakers game together, quality brother time," Nayel says and I weakly smile at him. God, why do I always look like shit when I run into him? Not like it matters, I have a boyfriend now and I'm not looking to impress him.

I walk into the living room and take a seat on the couch, I was still shaking unable to control my tears as they were streaming down my face. Nayel hands me a glass of water and smiles at me taking a seat on the couch next to me. My throat is bone dry.

"Thanks" I mumble gulping down the cold water. I wipe my tears and remove the hood from my hair, feeling almost suffocated by it. I sniffle setting the glass down on the table. I slip off my shoes and sit up on the couch with my legs crossed.

"If you want to talk about what's bothering you, I'm here to lend an ear" I look over at Nayel, his brows were pulled together, his face laced with worry, "Did you eat today?" Nayel asks.

I look at the clock on the wall and realized it's almost 7 pm and I haven't had anything. Instead of lying, I found myself shaking my head not looking at Nayel, bringing my knees up to my chest.

Nayel gets up without saying a word as I sit there silently sobbing, everytime I close my eyes a memory flashes through my mind and I physically feel sick.

After a few minutes Nayel returns with two plates in his hand, he sets them between us on the couch, it was a grilled cheese sandwich and an apple cut up on the other plate.

"Sorry Jay's fridge is kinda empty" Nayel shrugs, a warm smile present by the corner of his mouth.

Even though I did not want to eat right now, I didn't want to want to seem mean after he made this effort for me so I move to the end of the couch leaning back, legs crossed once again, and grab one of the plates, "Thank you" I flash him a half-smile and take a bite of the sandwich, it was really good as it went down my throat. Maybe I was hungry.

We sat there in silence, Nayel looking at the screen instead of me as I was staring at my feet, "I had an audition today" I found myself saying in a barely audible mumble.

I see Nayel turn his head, lowering the volume of the tv, he didn't say anything waiting for me to continue.

"It was this amazing psychological thriller directed by this director I have looked up to since I was a child," I say not wanting to say his name otherwise I'd throw up. I grab the glass of water and take a sip.

Tears were welling in my eyes again, "I was so excited about it, to meet him, I have been rehearsing for this role all week. I was over the moon" a tear fell down my cheek, a tight-lipped smile present on Nayel's face.

I let out a bitter laugh, "Boom dream crashed."

"What happened?" His tone was warm and sincere.

"The director was" I sniffle, "a fucking creep, he wanted me to sleep with him to get the role."

A look of rage flashes on Nayel's face, "Maria I'm-"

I cut him off, "I was so excited about this role, he took that away from me, and now every time I close my eyes I see him whispering those disgusting things to me and touching me. I feel so gross and dirty" I was sobbing now, "I wish I would've pushed him off me sooner, he just" I put my face in my hands sobbing, "I can't wash him off me, I feel so nasty" I'm pathetic, I can hear it in my voice.

I feel Nayel moving closer to me, "Can I give you a hug?" Nayel whispers.

I nod not looking up still sobbing, Nayel puts his arm around my shoulder and I rest my tear-stained face on his shirt, Nayel caresses my hair, "I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope he fucking rots in hell. I'm so sorry Maria" Nayel whispered as I sobbed all over his shirt.

Nayel held me in his arms for a while, letting me cry, slowly cradling me not saying a word just comforting me with his touch. After a few minutes, I felt myself soothing down and the tears stopped flowing. I sniffle slowly moving from him.

Nayel hands me the glass of water and I take another sip, "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt"

"Don't worry about it" Nayel grabs my hand, "I wish I-" Nayel was interrupted by the front door opening and closing. We move away from each other slightly and see Jay walk into the kitchen.

"So I just got pizza" Jay shrugs and then his eyes land on me, "M! Hey how was your audition?" Once again the tears were welling up in my eyes and I saw Jay's face drop.

Nayel gets up and walks to Jay, "I'm heading out, you guys don't need me hanging around right now" He says grabbing his jacket.

Jay nods at Nayel and rushes over to me, I wave to Nayel and mouth a thank you and he smiles at me, his eyes still sad and laced with concern.

"What happened?" Jay asks sitting in front of me.

I sniffle, "Stupid fucking Harrison was a creep" I cringe in distaste.

Jay's features darken, "Did he touch you?" a look of complete and utter revulsion flashes across his face.

I nod and whimper, "I can't even close my eyes without thinking of what he said to me and how he touched me. I just froze in the spot Jay, I feel so disgusting. I let him touch me and whisper obscenities to me for a few minutes, why didn't I just push him off the minute he made me uncomfortable?" I sob again and Jay squeezes my knee.

"Maria, no. This is not your fault, this was a traumatic thing that happened to you, you freeze up and don't know what to do at that moment, this is not your fault" Jay comforts me.

I sniffle, "I still feel him on me, I showered for over an hour but I feel violated and gross and suddenly stupid DJ Blake popped into my head" I roll my eyes. Jay seemed to be reciting a string of obscenities in his mind.

The hot tears rolling down my cheeks, "I just feel so dirty thinking about the both of them" I move closer and rest my head on Jay's shoulder as he wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Shh, I'm so sorry Maria" Jay kisses the top of my head holding me as I was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Do all predators have the same guidebook or something?" I laugh acridly, "They both basically said the same things to me just switching up their words."

"They are pigs Maria, they will rot in hell," Jay says squeezing my shoulder.

I sniffle, wiping my tears, "Yeah"

"You know you could always talk about this online or something" Jay suggests.

I sit up moving away from him, "No Jay, I don't want to relive it, I don't want people to accuse me and call me names. I rather push it under the rug."

"Maria, I can't imagine what you must be going through but don't you think seeing them pay for it would give you some form of closure? Especially that dick Bryan, he knew you were underage and still did those things to you, how many other young children is he preying on" Jay says.

I sniffle, "Nothing is your fault and of course it's your story and experience but you should get justice for it, you shouldn't live in fear"

I shrug, "I don't know if I'm brave enough to go through all that"

"Of course you are babe" Jay squeezes my shoulder.

Author's Note: Hi, I would love some feedback from the readers of this book, if you're enjoying it as it is or something less or more of that you'd like to see I'd love to know. Any feedback is appreciated really :)