"She won't end up dying in vain"

[December 1st, 2021]

"I was supposed to issue an admittance for you but it is good to know you've been resting well enough at home." Dr. Matthias said while flipping the pages of her reports.

"My mom knows now…" Aurora murmured, "You can admit me or something."

Dr. Matthias cleared his throat, continuing to go over the files. The latest MRI showed enlarged tumor in between frontal and temporal lobes lightly piercing her meninges causing the leak. However, they had controlled it through radiotherapy. Looking at her reports again, surgery was out of question.

"By the way." She uttered while he was still going through her reports. "I want to get the surgery."

He stared at her hesitantly, thinking how he would explain that the success rate had dropped after the leak.

"What motivated you?" He tried to extend the conversation.

"My friends." Aurora said swiftly, without waiting a second.

He let out a muffled sigh, trying not to let her notice now that the surgery was basically impossible.

"Am I too late?" Aurora asked hopelessly. "It's fine… I just wanted to know if I can still get it or not." She sighed sharply.

"Aurora… It's a 10% success chance. If you want to take it, I might try to stretch it out somehow." Dr. Matthias informed.

Aurora shook her head, not because she was scared to take the chance but because she had a new resolve. Before visiting the hospital today, she had decided that she would take the surgery if it was possible. If not, she would disclose the truth to everyone.

That was the only thing she could do for them. She was still required bed rest, however Dr. Matthias suggested she rests at home. She left his room to see her father walking towards her with apple juice in his hands. She passed a light smile to assure him everything went well.

As soon a she reached home, her mother ran towards the door.

"Are you alright?" She asked quickly, not being able to hide her concerns.

"Yes. He said more bed rest and I should be fine." She replied sincerely.

"Did you ask about surgery?" She asked while leading her daughter towards the couch to let her rest.

"Mom." She slowly called her. "Surgery is not possible." She slowly added.

"It's… Not?" Her eyes teared up instantly. "Ugh." She murmured while covering her face and moving away. "I'm sorry for being unreliable." She slowly walked away to get water for herself and her daughter. She poured it from a jug slowly into the glass and brought it back, handing it over to Aurora.

"I'm alright mom. It doesn't hurt." She assured her to at least lessen her concerns before she was sent back to her bedroom.

She decided to text her friends, for them to gather and to open up, so she grabbed her phone only to see it already bombarded with text messages. She opened the texts, which were mostly from Ethan asking if she was doing fine.

"Yes, I'm fine. But who told you I had flu?" She texted him back.

"I made it up. Also, can we meet?" Ethan replied right away.

She could tell he had figured out. She typed 'Bring Everyone' before deleting it and putting her phone down. She remembered that Lucy's granny just passed away. Today might not be the best time to be dropping bombs, that is.

"I'm sorry." She texted him.

"It's fine. I realized I had work anyway."

Aurora sighed sharply. Her little 'resolve' just got postponed. She tapped on Sean's direct message box. She had to get it out of her mind. Though, she felt bad for throwing her problems at him but he was the most reliable listener.

"Sean. Can you come see me?" She texted him.

"Not Sean but I can come see you." She received a text with a smiley emoji right away making her smile.

She started guessing which one was it while waiting for him, concluding him to be Baby Sean because of the emoji of choice. His house was far from hers so she knew it was going to take a while if he was coming straight from his house. She stepped out her room and went straight to the kitchen.

"Aurora! Why aren't you in bed?" Her mom spotted her from a distance, calling her out.

"Uh…" She uttered. "I called Sean over so I was going to get juice from the fridge."

"I'll bring it over when he comes so just go to the room."

Aurora pouted before going back to her room. She sat down on her bed scrolling through her chats on her phone when she heard the doorbell ring. She stayed put in her seat knowing she would receive an earful from her mother for stepping out. Sean knocked at her door before opening it. She ran towards him looking all the way up, not being able to match his height.

"Are you Baby Sean?" She started poking his cheeks lightly with her finger with stars in her eyes. She loved Baby Sean.

He stared at her as she continued to show affection to the little one.

"Do you want me to be Baby Sean?"

The question made her move away. Only Sean would ask these kinds of questions.

"I-I thought you were Baby Sean. You know how much I love him!" She tried to explain herself.

"So, you want me to stay love-deprived for the rest of my life? Ouch." He said as he walked towards the bed and sat on a side.

"I didn't say I don't love you!" Stressfully addressing him, she complained.

"People might get the wrong idea." He whispered. "Anyhow." He cleared his throat. "Why did you want to see me? Someone you don't even love?"

"Ugh! It's not like that!"

She walked towards him and sat next to him. Still in her pajamas, she sat with her legs covering the entire side of the bed rolling herself into the blanket.

"My head hurts so I won't explain myself anymore." She sulked. "You can think whatever you want."

"I can massage your head." Sean said. "Not for free though." He added before raising his hands and grabbing each side of her forehead.

"Wait!" She said before he could apply any force. "I don't know if I'm supposed to be getting massages. It's internal anyway."

"I knew you were feeling sick… So, what exactly happened?" Sean asked as his hands retreated to his thighs, interlocked together tightly.

"I don't what Uncle Matthias called it but I fell and my brain juice leaked."

Sean narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows. Aurora quickly looked away because she knew he was going to whine.

"My nose had been runny, and my head hurts. It's not a big deal so don't-"

"Aurora." He cut off her explanation. "It's fine. I've decided not to nag at you anymore."

"Are you doing this because I'm about to die?" Aurora asked as she furrowed her brows.

"No. Who says you're dying? I wanna see them." He said playfully to lighten up the mood causing Aurora to crack a smile. She wasn't one of those to get angry in the first place.

"I would never treat you different you know that." Sean said. "It's just that, falling is not your fault. And I know that."

Aurora smiled letting her head fall back to the pillow. It was about time she lied down again to avoid the runny nose. Her mother knocked at the door and opened it to leave juice and cookies for them before leaving with a forced smile on her face.

"Hmm?" Sean commented on the forced smile after she left.

"She found out." Aurora tapped his hands as a gesture to ask for cookies as they were out of her reach.

Sean grabbed a cookie and directed it towards her hand but she failed to notice as she was looking at the ceiling to avoid runny nose. Smiling, he guided it to her mouth instead. She clenched the cookie between her teeth and snatched it from his hand.

"My hands still work!" Her voice was muffled due to the cookie in her mouth.

"Right." He passed a light smile. "Don't worry about your mom. She was going to find out one day. Besides you're not dying."

He had mentioned it the second time and it made her uneasy. She didn't want him, at least him to be living in false hope.

"Why do you think I won't die?" Aurora asked before sitting up, her face still looking above.

"I won't-"

"Surgery is impossible." She didn't give him a chance to say anything. "Uncle Matthias told me today. I actually wanted to get the surgery. But he said it's impossible."

Sean sighed before grabbing the glass of juice, slowly wetting his dried throat. It was almost like preparing for a speech.

"I'm usually not optimistic. You know it better than anyone. And because you know me better than anyone, I don't feel like I need to accept whatever is happening to you. I won't accept it. Never. You're not going to die. I don't care if you think it's false hope." Sean said slowly, stressing each sentence carefully. "I just want to be with you. Don't make it sound like a crime."

"Sean… I'm going to die. Since you're the only one I can say this to, I want to say it. I know I'm shattering your false hope but it's the truth. Nothing can save me. I brought it upon myself and now, I'm about to die. Of course, I want to spend time with you too! That's I don't want you to live in false hope. That'll just hurt you more when I have to leave." Aurora said trying to make it sound like facts.

Sean stared right into her inclined eyes from the corner of his eye.

"You wanna commit mass-suicide?" Sean asked her with a serious face. Really?!

"Sean!" She nagged as she brought her face back to look at him. Feeling her nose getting runny again, she quickly fell back to the bed. "You can't say that."

"I can't believe you expect me to live just fine without you." He scoffed.

"You lived just fine without me during the most horrible times. I shouldn't be the one telling you that! You know what you went through."

"And after going through all of that, do I look like someone who willingly accepts a terminal illness of a friend he likes?"

When the conversation was getting serious, that one sentence from Sean was bit off. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head in her imaginations, not being able to do so, in real life.

"A friend he likes?" She pointed it out.

"I'll be mad if you pretended you didn't know." Sean straightforwardly admitted to his crush.

"Why would I not know that? Of course, you like me! You're my frie-"

"There we go again. A series of Aurora trying to friendzone me again." Sean complained.

Aurora looked away, trying to avoid looking at him at all costs.

"I can see you even if you try to avoid eye contact." He called her out.

"I…" She sighed. "I'm in a position where I have to friendzone you. It's not my fault."

"You're in denial." He said slowly. "But I'm stubborn too. I'll ask you out again."

"I didn't call you here for this!" She shouted before kicking him off the bed lightly. It was her way of rebellion against someone who loved her.

"You want me to leave?" Sean said.

"No." She said in a low tone, still trying to avoid eye contact. "Ah!" She exclaimed recalling something. "Did Ethan figure out?"

"Yeah. He's quick-witted." Sean said.

"Actually, I called you here to listen to your opinion about this. Should I tell everyone? That way I won't have the feeling that I'm dying in vain or something." Aurora finally mentioned.

Sean nodded. She knew he would agree. Yet she wanted to hear it from him to be as ease. Even though she friend-zoned him, she wanted all his time. So, they sat back and talked about a dozen of things.

[December 1st, 2020]

"And your foot is better. But Stop walking so much!" The nurse said.

Her mom had forced her to the hospital again for just a sprain. They had to wait a line of a hundred of people also waiting to get their torn ligaments checked. How often did people injure themselves like this for Aurora to end up in a line of hundreds?!

It became a memory she hated to recall. She didn't even get to see her friends. Or even text them. Her mother was also over-protective as she was her only child. However, she didn't give it much thought. How troubling and upsetting it would be for her mother to witness her getting hurt? She was too young to think about these kinds of things.

And she probably wasn't going to think about it any time soon. What she did know was that she couldn't possibly live without all that fast food. She loved food. The only thing she couldn't ever resist, other than Baby Sean's smile and giggles.

Ah, such a perfect series of thoughts while she headed towards her house after a hectic day full of hospital smell. That was okay too, as her imagination was on peak today.