"Her own mind, locked"

[December 4th, 2021]

"I'm sorry, I'm a terrible friend." Aurora murmured, sitting on her bed, with a plate of fruits in front of her.

Giselle nodded as she smiled.

"You better take care of yourself or you'll continue to be a terrible friend." Lucy said. She had calmed down now that Aurora was back at her house.

Even though it shook both the girls, they agreed to let Aurora stay out of their concerns as that seemed to be the most rational choice. They were also told how the surgery was practically impossible as of now. Though it was as harsh as it sounded, they all agreed to make Aurora's last days happier than ever.

"I just couldn't bring myself to say it and…"

"You don't have to go through the details. What matters now is your happy meter." Giselle said.

"Happy meter? Giselle… Go study." Lucy objected at her words of choice.

Aurora felt glad that they knew. She was happy that she couldn't hide it any longer. If she had known they would be this generous towards her, she would've just said it 2 weeks ago, when she was first diagnosed with it.

She felt sad for losing those 2 weeks trying to hide it. She could have it easier but made it harder for herself. However, none of that mattered. They were all true to her, and she wasn't going to take them for granted. While the others went back home, Giselle stayed over.

"Pros of living next door!" She exclaimed in joy. "Now tell me. Since when did you know?" She asked, with a serious face, however, Aurora saw that coming. "Actually, let me guess."

As Aurora was seated in her bed still, Giselle walked around the room trying to ponder.

"When you suddenly went for a walk 5am in the morning, came back home and put on makeup?" Her quick analysis spoke.

"Y-Yeah…"

"You didn't fall asleep on the bus that day, did you?"

"I did, actually. But when I woke up, Uncle Matthias found me and…"

"I knew it. That 5am morning walk was suspicious. Aurora the Great would never do healthy people things."

"Giselle!" Aurora whined as Giselle continued to tease her.

They both chuckled, before Giselle's expression went from a grin to a frown.

"How do you feel about it?"

"About what?"

"Dying."

Aurora nervously laughed if off.

"Honestly, I'm not sure." She smiled lightly. "I don't feel anything. I'm not sure what to feel."

"It's alright. I'll do everything I can to only let you feel happiness. But you have to promise me, if it hurts, tell us. I understand why you had to hide it till now. But, now that I know that you're hurting, I want to know when exactly you're hurting. Whether it's mental or physical. I want to know. And I think I deserve to know." Giselle explained carefully.

"Of course, you deserve to know. I'm just a terrible friend…"

"No, Aurora. That's not what I meant! I don't want you contemplating about things that happened or will happen. I want you to live in the moment, like you always do. You don't have to stop on that fast-food. You don't have to worry about staying up all night. Just be yourself. That suits you the best." She explained further. "Plus, I shouldn't be lecturing you. You know yourself better. Also, it's cringe."

Aurora chuckled as her honesty. She should've told her earlier. Suddenly, the door was knocked. Giselle walked towards it to open it.

"Sean?" She asked, looking behind him as it seemed her mother had opened the front door for him. "I didn't hear a bell, come in." Giselle made way for him.

Sean walked inside the room quietly, then walked towards Aurora. He sat on the bed beside her and looked straight into her eyes before leaning forward for a hug.

"Sean?" Aurora asked nervously.

She heard him sniffing. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away out of confusion only to end up smiling, as he was pouting.

"Baby Sean?" She asked.

He nodded. Of course, it was Baby Sean. Normally, Sean wouldn't be covered in tears and snot let alone be that straightforward. Aurora grabbed from the side table and wiped his tears clean before letting him sniff out with his might.

"What happened kid?" Giselle asked from a distance.

"There, there." Aurora patted his back as he continued to sniff.

He wiped his entire face further with his forearm.

"You are dying?" He looked at Aurora with his red eyes, sore from all that crying.

"Who told you that?" Aurora smiled lightly. "Why would I die?"

"I heard it… I heard you and Sean talk. He asked you to become his girlfriend." Baby Sean explained.

"What?!" Giselle exclaimed in surprise.

However, Aurora didn't remember, fortunately.

"… What? Baby Sean, you're always asleep when you're not here. I think you're mistaken. Also, if he asked me out, why would I die?" Aurora asked, actually not being able to remember anything.

"You said you can't be his girlfriend because you're dying." Baby Sean broke to tears.

Giselle looked at her suspiciously.

"Did he ask you out, and you rejected him because of that? Are you kidding me? Your best friend asked you out… How could you reject him?" Giselle complained right away, completely buying Baby Sean's story.

"He didn't ask me out! Baby Sean is mistaken!" Aurora explained herself before bringing Baby Sean towards herself for a hug. "There, there… I'm not dying."

"Sean said that but you told him you would." Baby Sean's muffled voice was honest, but fake to Aurora's fainted memories. "If you died, we will die too."

Sean and his alters had the deepest connection to Aurora. She was the first one to accept each of them as separate individuals. She showered her affection onto them. No way they could believe her demise was close.

"W-When we were at his old house." Baby Sean stuttered as he couldn't talk. "His dad hit us every day and it hurt so much. It hurt so much we thought we would die." He added before sniffing loudly. "I don't want you to feel like that. You helped us out of there and I'm really scared now. What will we do without you?"

"Baby Sean, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Aurora assured him.

"Promise?" He looked at her with his eyes full of tears.

Aurora nodded before hugging him tightly. Giselle still held her suspicions as she stared Aurora down while he was facing back, receiving a warm hug.

"Um…" He said when the hug continued for longer than expected. "Why… Are you hugging me?" He asked.

"Sean?" She asked.

He broke off the hug in confusion. It appeared he had switched back. It was a golden time for interrogation for Giselle.

"Hey, Sean!" She exclaimed, causing him to look at her, tilting his face a little to the back.

"Did you ask Aurora out?" She shamelessly asked.

"Giselle, no! He obviously didn't. We're friends!" Aurora tried to explain herself thoroughly.

"Of course, I did." He admitted confidently.

"No, you didn't." Aurora couldn't believe the situation.

"I did and she rejected me. Cold-heartedly." He admitted, staring directly to her eyes noticing his tears falling mid-way. He touched his cheek and pulled his hand to see the evident tears. "Why was I crying though? Which one was it?"

"Baby Sean came here 10pm at night to explain us how he found out that you asked Aurora out." Giselle explained in a twisted way, partially honest though.

"N-No…"

"I see." Sean uttered. "Aurora, did you really forget or are you pretending?" He asked.

"I really don't know what you guys mean. Did I forget it? Did you ask me out?"

"Here's your answer, Giselle. I'm sorry Baby Sean barged in out of nowhere. I should go home now." Sean said as he stood up from the bed and walked towards the door.

"Wait." Giselle said, making him stop. "Ask her out."

"Hm?" Sean raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"If she forgot due to whatever reasons, you should ask her out again."

"And get rejected again?"

"Giselle!!" Aurora sulked.

"Just do it." Giselle found it more of a challenge for Sean but it was not.

Sean cleared his throat and exhaled sharply.

"Go out with me… Or something." He said looking away.

Giselle looked at Aurora for an answer. She looked nervous, with her cheeks as red as a poppy.

"Aurora?" Giselle asked to add to her nervousness.

"W-What?... Do you expect me to say something while you're here?" She tried to cover it up by an opposing question.

"If I'd get out, you'd probably reject him." Giselle said before sighing. "By the way, Sean, I bet you didn't know but she had crushed on you since-"

"F-Fine… Okay… Alright."

…

Who expected Giselle stay-over to be so dramatic? Giselle didn't stop at just that as she knew they both crushed on each other since middle school but were scared they'd ruin the friendship.

Even as they finally decided to go to bed after seeing Sean off, Giselle kept reminding Aurora of what happened so even if the short-term department misses it somehow, the long-term manages to keep it. It was her great plan.

It would be sad if she forgot she was officially, well, not quite officially dating Sean. Aurora was flustered to think about it, yet forced to do so. As hard as it was to admit, she had to remember this day to avoid similar circumstances.

She hoped her mind won't shut down on her like today. She also thought about Baby Sean. He was concerned. And she didn't wish to see him like that. Besides, the moment he started reminiscing about their past, she knew he was troubled.

Hence, she had to make a to-do list. She opened the note-pad in her phone while Giselle fell asleep next to her.

1. Don't forget you're dating Sean :

2. Break up with Sean in the morning, alone, VERY IMPORTANT :

3. Try to talk to Baby Sean, also alone :

She realized the points were all about Sean. She shook her head, still flustered.

4. Hangout with the gang and reduce their concerns :

5. Go to a trip :

Alright. Two extra points were added to support the to-do list. She hoped she'd remember she wrote in her note-pad till the morning before falling a asleep.

[December 4th, 2020]

"Mom, I can walk. Please!" Aurora pleaded to her mother.

"Why? Why can't you stay at home for once?" Her mother was also, not going to let her out anytime soon.

"Mom, Ethan got fired! Please I must visit him! What if he's not alright?"

"If it wasn't for Ethan, I wouldn't have agreed. But you have to wait 10 minutes. I'll drive you myself." Her mother said.

Aurora agreed to wait for her mother to finish cooking for lunch. During the endless wait, she went through her chat again and thought about a series of comforting words. Ethan had been fired from his work-place because of unfair circumstances.

Though, he had been doing well till now, he still got fired and Aurora had to learn why. Also, she had to be with her friend in hard times! Her mother finished cooking, and served it to her father before grabbing the keys and escorting Aurora out.

She drove her all the way to Ethan's house and went to get groceries. She was given half an hour to conversate till her mother returns to pick her up. Her mother even accompanied her all the way to the 15th floor, where they rang the door-bell to Ethan's unit. Sean opened the door to receive Aurora. Of course, he was there.

Bros could never leave their bros out.

"Ethan!!!" She barged her way in. The other girls were already there.

"Why are you out of bed?" Ethan complained first thing after seeing her jump around. "You wanna sprain your other foot too?"

She sulked.

"I came all the way here to check up on you and you're lecturing me."

"Yes."

But she didn't hate that as that just showed Ethan was perfectly fine. Apparently, he temporarily got fired due to some legal issues with the restaurant owner. The owner fired him so that he doesn't get into trouble. Knowing that really calmed her down.

At least it was too big of a deal. Meanwhile, the owner also set him up at some other place till his matters were settled. Her mother arrived to pick her up eventually but she was glad to stay even for a little while.