"Pumpkins"

Happy Halloween guys! Or whatever you say during Halloween. This chapter is a little Halloween special! Have a nice day trick-or-treating or just chilling at home with friends or loved ones. It’s always more fun when there are people around (:

Skara)

October 31st, 2030

“Just over there!” I said, turning to Hayes, he smiled at me, carrying a pumpkin. Aaron and others have gathered for the Halloween “gathering” or party my mother agreed to help me host.

It felt so great seeing them again. Annette put down the box with the decorations on the table and smiled.

“Are we done here?” Hayes asked, turning to me. I glanced around. I nodded and they sat down. They all grabbed a soda each from the icebox that Nathan found in his basement laying around and brought us some beer and soda. They were in glass bottles, I opened one and took a sip.

The sugary taste of the soda hit my tongue, it was sweet but it wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be. I glanced at Hayes, he smiled at me, taking a big sip out of his bottle, and letting out a chuckle.

“Shit, where’d you get this?” He asked, turning to Nathan. He shrugged. He gave him the check, Hayes grabbed it, tracing his finger across it, checking the price and name of the drink.

“That’s cheap, I ain’t going to lie. 2 bucks per bottle isn’t as bad.” He shrugged. I looked at him. He glanced at me, smiling. He was confused.

I looked away.

“I’ll be right back.” I got up from the couch and walked out. I stood outside. It was chilly, it was already autumn. The leaves were slowly falling and dying out. The colors of red, yellow, and brown covered the ground and I just closed my eyes, taking a deep breath in and out.

I felt really overwhelmed. I was really tired, but I didn’t want to ruin the hangout. We’ve all been looking forward to it and I felt like it was selfish for me to feel tired.

Hayes put his hand on my shoulder, I turned to look at him, he smiled.

“Hey. Everythin’ good?” He asked, I sat down on the steps. He did the same, putting his arm around my shoulder.

“Yeah. Or ... I feel just really tired. It’s been a lot in these weeks and I just feel tired I guess.” I shrugged. He sighed. He let go and wrapped his arms around me.

“That’s okay. Feeling tired after having it hard is shit, I understand.” He patted my back, I sighed.

“It’s not like I had it hard- But work and all of the studies and shit- I just want a small break for myself too.” He let go, looking up at me.

“Don’t worry. You’re great. You are doing great. Look at you. The awesome little guy you are. I’m proud of ya’.” He smiled. I smiled at him too and hugged him again. I felt so comforted in his arms. I felt so.. Warm. So good.

“Thank you.” I smiled. He patted my shoulder. He got up and walked inside. I breathed out. It felt like I was asking for so much when I just wanted a small hug and someone just telling me I’m doing great.

It’s not like I was depressed or anything, but I found it hard sometimes to just keep up with everything. Being social, working, doing small tasks here and there made me frustrated, sometimes even mad.

Sometimes I just felt so lazy when I just had no motivation. It all felt tiring to me and I just didn’t know how to apprehend it. It wasn’t depression, it was just a low point where I just felt so burned out.

Sometimes you don’t need a reason to feel exhausted. You don’t need to be “mentally ill” to just feel like you cannot manage things sometimes. That they’re out of hand.

And sometimes, a hug or “You’re doing good” feels more than enough from a person you’re close with. Because sometimes that’s all it’s needed. Just a small reassurance you’re capable of everything and anything.

I walked inside. I smiled, sitting down. The others were playing a word game, laughing, having fun. I looked at the time, Hayes glanced at me, nodding and giving me a smile.

“Hey, guys- Want to watch a movie? I feel a bit tired today, I apologize.” I gave them a small smile, and Annette hugged me.

“Don’t worry. Sure! Since it’s Halloween and all of that.. Horror movie marathon?” She pulled away, smiling.

“Hell yeah!” Aaron chuckled, as I picked out a movie and put it on.

October 31st, 2032

Carter’s POV:

We put down the pumpkins on the table that we’ve grown for the past months in the indoor farms the clan has had set up.

They were a bit heavy to carry, the weight was quite easy to feel when picked up. Alec carried only a couple of smaller ones, he was still a bit wounded after some errands we were assigned to do.

I put down the one I was carrying on the table and picked up a knife. I dug the knife into the top of the pumpkin and approached Alec.

“Hey, let me help.” I smiled, he looked up.

“No, it’s okay. I can manage.” He smiled back. I glanced at his arms, one of them had a bandage on his forearm.

I stopped him. I grabbed one from his hands and carried it to the table. He looked up at me, I gave him a quick smile and sat down.

“Come on. Let’s start working on these pumpkins.” I smiled.

I lit up a small candle inside of the carved pumpkin, and put it on the table, Alec did the same, just around some corners of rooms and halls. We’d use the pumpkins for soup and food, so it won’t go to waste. Just as a decoration for even a few hours and then food. We always use up the things, decorations, food waste never goes to any sort of waste. It’s too much to lose. We can’t afford to lose so much that we’d be throwing away.

Alec walked back inside the room, sitting down. He handed me a small plate of warm mashed up potatoes, with sauce and some vegetables on the side. He also handed me a small piece of cherry pie.

“Is this for me?” I asked him, he nodded.

“Yeah. I grabbed two portions one for me, and one for you. Since you would’ve missed dinner and all.” He smiled. I grabbed the fork, smiling back at him.

He was always so nice, so sweet, and kindhearted. Just such a great person that no words could explain how good he actually was.

It probably sounds cliché that a person is always just “so great”. Of course, everyone has imperfections and things that are regrettable, but in my eyes, he’s a great person. He’s just so great it makes my heart ache how much bad all of these events have done to him.

Because he makes me want to love him, protect him. Make him feel like he’s the greatest person that exists within these miles of this deep shithole of sand that we’ve created.

And I hate blaming others. I’m not an innocent myself, either. I never said I wasn’t guilty of anything. My past, my present, and future are all upon my shoulders like a knife piercing through my shoulder, holding me down.

Because it’s what I have to do. It’s what I have to do because it’s what I want. And if it’s what I want, I’ll do it. Because life lets you don’t, but it also teaches you lessons that are more important to remember than to forget.

Because those types of lessons hurt sometimes, but they’re honestly just the most perfect way to be a better person. To move on from the past.

He held his fingers around the handle of the cup, sipping from it. He smiled at me, we were laughing, throwing jokes at each other. It was pleasant.

I smiled at him.

“Okay- Well, let’s get going. It’s late, Veri will kill us if we don’t show up on time in the morning.” I said, we both got up, accidentally bumping into one another. He let out a chuckle and waved.

“I guess I’m too drunk or something. Drunk on cherry soda, hah.” He walked out and into the hall. I watched him walk off.

I smiled. I guess.. It’s not so bad.