Chapter 9 : Loving While Breaking

It was wrong.

To spend time with someone who isn’t your family, to get closer to someone whom you have been burdening for years, to make memories which will burn in your head at the end. It was so wrong.

But yet here I was, doing all the things above.

So wrong, yet felt so right.

I was currently cleaning up the kitchen in order to help mom to set a fine lunch. Dad was in the living room, decorating ‘so that the room feels like it came straight from a movie while watching a movie,’ he said. The smell of roast beef darted from kitchen to my direction and filled my nostrils with its burned yet delicious scent. Even McDonalds can’t compete this, fight me.

Oh-

Sorry, guys. McDonald or any other fancy food courts does not sponsor this story. The appearance of foods is totally from my side. Apologies in advance.

So how did we land in the current situation? Simple. Mom insisted we should spend the last day happily instead of crying and dragged a sniffling dad out of the bathroom (No! Why can’t you let me mourn peacefully?) and instructed us to clean up the house (Nobody listens to me in this house!). And then here we are.

Wiping the table, I gingerly picked up the glasses with gloved hands and placed those on a bucket. There lied my eternal friend, my companion in feasts, my all-time sunshine- I mean light shine, our chandelier in broken pieces. Sigh. I hope it’s in a better place.

The cleaning process kept going on and stopped as the clock strike 1pm. You better shower first or else I am not giving any food Celestian!’ mom yelled from the kitchen, followed by a smack which I assumed landed on dad’s hand which intended to steal a meat. A minute later, dad came out, grumbling and heading towards the bathroom, a laughing me following him (‘You should see your face, dad!’ ‘Shut up, kid.’).

After freshening up, we sat at the dining table. My eyes roamed around and my mind that mom’s plan of enjoying today instead of crying our eyes out was way better than it seemed. The atmosphere was quite light now. Mom and dad looked way better than morning, with their frown disappearing and smiles playing on lips. The delicious aroma lingering in the air made everything better.

After the lunch, we spent a pleasant afternoon together on a sofa, drowning in the lively sound of the movie playing. I couldn’t help but space out now and then, wondering what will happen next. Where will I go? A cold pile of sorrow and unease settled in my stomach whenever I thought of leaving. We were acting like it will never happen, knowing that it was just a preparation for me leaving.

I shook my head internally to get rid of the thoughts. No, mom and dad were trying their best to make me feel good. I need to stay calm and patient.

For their sake.

Time flew by, and sunset came rolling down, with the clock ticking near 6.

We climbed up on the roof, me slinging on my backpack (‘Glad you could at least pack for yourself, Jul,’ dad joked) and mom carrying a blanket. We huddled together in between the warmth of thick fabric and each other’s, like the old times. I was sitting in the middle and mom and dad had wrapped their hands around me, tighter than ever.

I didn’t understand then, but now I know what it meant. My parents were embracing me for the seemingly last time, hoping they could do it for the rest of their life. Their hearts were bleeding, but they didn’t show it until the last moment.

A love so unconditional, a feeling which I couldn’t give back even if I had lived for a thousand of years with them. Their love for me is dangerous. But don’t tell them because it will cause a smack on the head and lots of scolding.

Deep golden-orange was gliding across the sky as if an artist had spilled it with a paintbrush all over the sky-canvas from their pallet. Sun was a fiery ball of red then, glowing and declaring the end of another day. Soft light illuminated the-

My thoughts were cut off by the sudden noise. I felt dad’s grip tightening and mom’s loosening, like her energy was slowly draining away.

I hastily pulled away a hand from the messy limb-tangling embrace and pushed off the blanket from my head. I looked above at the source of noise.

My jaw hit the roof at the sight.