MAD CHAOXIANG

"I used to know the chords of his song before. Why am I so forgetful?", Meixiu scratched the back of her head after an hour of trying to figure out the chords and strumming pattern of Chaoxiang's song.

"Who are you to touch my guitar? Who gave you the rights to use or even touch my things?"

Though Meixiu is in a total confusion after hearing Chaoxiang's loud voice, she managed to look at him in the eyes. Aside from seeing his hair and his clothes are wet because it is raining outside, she can see he's mad at what she's doing. So she stood up from the bed and bowed her head to show her undying respect for him despite all of the worst things she suffered from him.

"I'm sorry. I just thought of a hobby that we can both enjoy together. I am trying to learn your songs, maybe we play some when we're at home after we got home from work."

It took her some time to realize Ruomei's advice could actually be very beneficial to their marriage. She once recalled how Suyin and Chaoxiang would go to concerts together, watch musical and theater shows together, would hang out with nothing else than just guitars or other intruments back in the days when they were still dating. Maybe sharing the same interests with your partner is a key to a happy marriage after all.

But then, her reality is different from her sister's. Chaoxiang loves Suyin but he didn't love her. To slap the reality to her, Chaoxiang had to grab the guitar from her. She fell down on the floor gasping some air after Chaoxiang smashed it to the wall. "Why is he mad at me like this?", she asks herself, with the tears uncontrollably falling from her eyes.

This scene is triggering her sanity. She is trying to get out from the past that her mind is making her remember after Chaoxiang did that. She covered her ears with her hands even though she is trembling.

"You talked to Ruomei. And you talked to your mom, she's here just now. Now they're all against me."

"I didn't talk to anybody."

She jerked in pain after he kicked her waist. And she fell in silence afterwards knowing she can never change someone else's ablazed mind. He hates her, he disgusts her so why would he listen to her anyway? In his eyes, he is nothing like a stranger who keeps pushing and throwing herself on him.

"Leave my room now! I don't want to see you. You keep on getting their attention. Marriage issues should be solved privately. You should've called my brother too, or my mom and my dad!"

She stood up and while holding the left side of her waist, she walked outside his room and closed the door. Meixiu doesn't care about the other things Chaoxiang is complaining about. The only thing that's stuck in her head is that he mentioned her mom was here earlier. "Mom is here? Where is she?", she thought.

She went outside their house even if it's already dark and it's raining. Her vision is blurry because of the tears on the walls of her eyes.

"Mom?", her voice is fading but she continued walking.

*cough cough

Her white dress is now dripping wet but her mind says she needs to find her mom.

"Come back here if he already hates you. If it's the end of your relationship, don't chase him.", she remembered her mom's reminder to her after their marriage in Jeju island.

Her mom knows this will happen, but she still insisted, wanting to have some money from the Zhao family, Chaoxiang's family.

"I am coming home.", she said, walking in the rain holding the left side of her waist.

"Mom I don't want to be here anymore.", she is begging for someone to take her away from this place.

She is looking at the scars on her wrists. "Can I die now?"

Until she fell down in the middle of the road, she covered her eyes with her arms because of the blinding lights approaching her.

[•••]

"She looks like a crazy woman on the street, walking in that white dress.", Chaoxiang is looking at Meixiu while she is taking the streets alone.

He then saw her phone's lighting up. "Someone's calling?", he got her phone from his bed and answered Meiying's call.

"Director Yang, are you feeling better?", he got curious after he heard her asking.

"This is her friend. Did something happen to her?"

"Oh hello Sir. Her pancreatitis attacked again. She said it was because of the pork she ate. Is she alright now sir?"

He suddenly remember the food he bought for her. "Why did she eat all those?", he ended the call and looked through the window but he saw nothing. All of a sudden, his anger towards her shrank down to a depth he can't even reach. So she really is determined in wanting or even loving the things he likes. If he wants guitar, she would learn it for him. But why? Why is she catching up?

He was lost in his thoughts but was disturbed when his phone rang. Looking directly at the screen, he can see it was his sister who's calling him. For some reason, he is nervous for this woman knows the ins and outs of their relationship but he has no choice than to take the call for he is still guilty about Meixiu.

"If you're going to ask me about Meixiu..."

"I am! I saw her conversation with Liwei! She's asking for some brands of pain killers and antibiotics. I already told you to take care of her! She is keeping her condition from me too. You are the one who's there, you should be seeing if she's not okay!"

"Ruomei, she's missing."

"She's what?"

"She's missing. She's not home. I drove her away."

"Now pay for that!", she hanged up.

Chaoxiang went outside their house with a raincoat and and umbrella in his right hand, a flashlight in his left. "Where am I going to find you Meixiu?"