"How is New York?" I ask
Josh shrugs before answering
"It's beautiful , breathtakingly fast and an amazing place."
Okay
"What was it like for you, when you first got there?"
"mmmmm, I felt alone, like I didn't fit in but with time, I opened myself up and got to know awesome people."
Great to hear
Awesome people like pretty girls.
"But some things never changed, they have not changed." He takes a sip of his water
"When you left I was broken, I just wanted to understand."
He looks over at me and I feel him move his hand on my right cheek.
"I would be hurt too with what happened, you are part of the reason I decided to come and at least mend things where I can say sorry."
OH really?
Because he clearly didn't know what he had done by the pool that day.
"Am sorry I showed up and announced acting like nothing happened, I just didn't know where to begin admitting that I was wrong." He gets my bottle of water and places it down together with his. He then holds both of my hands in his and looks at me.
I stare into his ocean blue eyes, his skin under the night light.
Not the sparks again
Oh forget it
I feel tears on my cheeks and know that I am letting out my pain, the hurt, the disappointment, all of it and my goodness the love.
"Don't cry Neese". He says now holding my face in his hands.
"Am just glad to know that you are sorry for what happened, that's all I ever wanted to hear."
Josh moves closer to me and I feel his breath on me.
"Really? Is that all you wanted to hear?"
Of course, that is all
"Or more, like I'm still in love with all, haven't met any woman to compare to you."
Shut up
Stop that
What, no, you moved on remembering?
"Don't do this please Josh."
"What? confess my feelings? admit that I lost A great woman?"
"You don't mean it". I almost shook, freeing myself from him.
"What if I do Neese? What I mean it, that I am still in love with you?"
I look at him. A flood of emotions in me erupts.
He can't be serious.
Can he?
Eve said when you meet the one who will know.
From the time I met Josh since we were in high school I always believed I felt something, just wasn't sure what to call it.
But there was something.
Josh hurting and then coming back, could it be fate?
What if I lose this chance at my possible soulmate?
The one.
I don't know what took over me, probably fate itself and I found myself in Josh's arms. We stared at each other eye to eye, feeling each other's breath against our lips.
I think I had waited for this moment.
I had missed this man
I felt his lips linger on mine as if asking for permission and when I kissed him back, it was like fire against ice. A fierce force I didn't understand.
I run my hands on his chest, feel his shoulders , face and body.
Beautiful
I let Josh's hands explore my body, the one which once belonged to him, the one that had yearned for his touch all these years.
Whatever he did then , we were young and fueled to make mistakes, maybe now is our time.
We ran to Josh's car still kissing, catching our breath and holding hands.
Like two high school teenagers escaping prom night to go make out.
And it felt lively,
Like I was living again
With a long lost lover
He helps me sit at the front passenger seat and drives into the night to a place where no one will find us.
***