Thirteen

"Haven!" he bellowed.

"Momma?"

Haven sucked in a gasp, her eyes snapping open. Her heart was pounding, her breathing fast and frantic. For several seconds she could only lay motionless save for the rising and falling of her chest.

"You were dreaming again," the high-pitched voice whispered.

Haven relaxed into a smile, turning her head and meeting Clementine's worried eyes. Her pale blonde hair hung down her back in tangled curls. "I was, wasn't I?"

Clementine nodded silently; concern forming a crease between her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry I woke you up. Are you okay?" Haven asked, glad her voice didn't tremble. She turned over onto her side.

Clementine nodded. "Yeah. I… um… I have to go potty," she added quietly, doing an awkwardly little wiggle-dance as she rose to her knees.

"Do you need any help?"

"No."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Okay!"

Haven's smile deepened as a pair of small arms and legs crawled over her and jumped onto the ground. Her quick footsteps pitter-pattered across the carpeted floor and into the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Haven called softly after a few minutes of silence. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was almost three in the morning.

"Uh-huh. Um, actually I need help."

Haven smirked. She slid out of bed, helped Clementine, and then carried her back to bed.

"Can I help you in the kitchen today?" Clementine yawned, resting her head on Haven's shoulder and snuggling against her.

Haven scooped an arm beneath her, holding her close and kissing the top of her head. "You always help me in the kitchen."

"Oh, yeah. But can I again today?"

"Yes."

Clementine turned to grin up at Haven, wiggling excitedly. "Can we make roundellos again?"

"Mm-hm."

Clementine's face brightened and she sat up a little, brushing the hair out of her face. "And if Sarah says its okay can we put sprinkles on them?"

"Yes."

"And, and if she says no can—"

"Okay, kitten, go to sleep. We'll talk about it later, alright?" Haven quietly laughed, guiding Clementine back down.

"Mkay, sorry Mommy."

"It's okay."

"Can I ask one more thing?"

"Sure."

Clementine paused. "I forgot."

Haven smiled. She started running her fingers through Clementine's hair, gently working the knots out. Clementine loved having her hair played with so that had become Haven's secret weapon when she was trying to get her to go to sleep.

Clementine's breathing began to slow after only a few minutes. Her body gradually relaxed and her eyelashes fluttered closed.

Haven eventually fell asleep, trying to focus on anything other than her nightmare. Much to her growing frustration, her nights were still more often than not plagued with them. She had been trying to get a hold of herself, especially now that Clementine was beginning to notice. She didn't want her to worry.

Scarcely two hours later, Haven's alarm gently chimed, waking her up again. She slipped out of bed without waking Clementine, took a quick shower, and got dressed as quickly as possible.

"Hey, peanut. Time to wake up."

Clementine faintly grunted, stretching her arms over her head. The side of her face was creased with sheet marks.

Haven leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on her soft, warm face.

Clementine yawned, her eyes fluttering open.

"Are you going to get dressed?"

"Mm-hm," Clementine murmured, rubbing her eyes. She made no move to get up.

Haven pulled a shirt and pair of leggings out for her, setting them down on the bed.

Clementine, suddenly drained of all her energy, started to fall back asleep. She pulled the blanket under her chin and snuggled her nose into it.

"Am I going to have to dress you like a little baby?" Haven whispered tauntingly.

Clementine's eyes fluttered open and she giggled. "No, I can do it."

"Well then come on."

Clementine, yawning, got out of bed and started getting dressed. The shirt was still a bit too big; hopefully she'd grow into it soon.

As soon as she finished, Haven waved her forward and brushed through her hair.

"You better not be falling asleep on me." Haven nudged her shoulder.

Clementine shook her head.

Haven smiled to herself, scooping Clementine up and cradling her like a baby. She still seemed small for her age and more than once it had crossed Haven's mind to being her to a doctor so she could have an actual physical, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "I love you."

"I love you too," Clementine whispered back, staring up at Heaven the way she had done so many times already in her short life. It was in those moments that everything in Haven's mind melted into the background.

"You still want to come with me to the kitchen?"

"Yeah." Clementine nodded.

Haven set her down, giving her a playful smack on her backside. Taking her hand, they both crept down the hallway and into the kitchen. Sarah was already there, getting everything ready. It seemed that no matter how early Haven got up, Sarah always managed to beat her.

"Morning." Sarah smiled.

"Morning."

"Hey kitten."

Clementine grinned at Sarah, running over to give her a hug. Haven then lifted her up on one of the barstools so she could reach the counter before reaching for her apron.

"Wait Mommy can I get mine?"

Haven nodded.

Clementine jumped down from her stool and taking her apron from Sarah's outstretched arm. The strings were knotted together and she couldn't get it untied.

Haven undid it for her and then lifted he back onto the barstool so she could help She brought over the big container of flour and let Clementine sprinkle it on the counter while she pulled a big ball of dough from beside the oven and dumped it out.

"Here, help me kneed it."

Clementine nodded, watching Haven and doing her best to mimic her. Her slim arms pressed down and pulled up as hard as she could. "Like this?"

Haven nodded. "Perfect."

"Mkay. Is this for the… roundellos or scones?"

"Scones. We'll do the roundellos after."

Turning around to face Sarah, Clementine asked, "Can I put sprinkles on mine?"

Sarah pursed her lips. Her eyes darted to Haven's. "I don't know… I only let people I really like put sprinkles on their roundellos. Haven, what do you think?"

Clementine turned to Haven, her eyes round.

"Mm, I don't know. I don't think you like her very much."

"Yes she does!" Clementine giggled.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked, frowning skeptically. Moving to stand next to Haven, Sarah put her arm around her shoulders in a tight hug. "I only like your mommy."

Clementine laughed harder. "You like me too!" she cried, sliding down from the stool and running over to join the embrace.

"Well, I guess I do," Sarah said slowly. "Alright. I guess you can put sprinkles on them."

Clementine's grin broadened and she jumped in a single hop.

"What do you say?" Haven whispered.

"Thank you!"

"Okay, now go help your mom finish working on the dough!" Sarah laughed, gently pushing Clementine back to her station.

Clementine hopped back over to Haven and continued her work of kneading the dough. While she was occupied, Haven started seasoning the breakfast steaks while Sarah started on the hash browns. Clementine stayed with Haven, doing some of the basic work and even washing the dirty dishes.

Together, the trio worked for a solid three hours until the breakfast bell sounded and guests began to file into the dinning room.

"Okay, we've got some nice, hot roundellos that are ready to be frosted and sprinkled," Sarah announced.

Clementine squealed, dropping the spoon she was washing back in the sink and scrambling down. Moving closer to Sarah, she watched her carefully take them out of the fryer and lay them out on paper towels.

"They smell good," Clementine said, looking up at Haven.

"Yeah they sure do."

"You remember how to do it?" Sarah asked.

Clementine nodded. "Uh-huh." She carefully picked one up and, rather messily, dunked the top half in the bowl of frosting Haven set down next to her. She held it awkwardly in the air.

"Here, put some sprinkles on it," Haven said.

Clementine nodded again, pressing the donut into a shallower dish filled with multi color sprinkles. "Is this one mine?" she asked, setting it down on a clean paper towel.

Sarah nodded. "All yours."

"Momma? Can I eat it now?" Clementine asked.

"Not yet, you gotta let it cool first."

"Oh."

"Want to help me with the eggs?"

Clementine sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"We'll eat soon," Haven promised.

"Mkay."

While the eggs cookies, Sarah finished the rest of the roundellos and Haven finished getting the rest of the made-to-order breakfast ingredients together. At seven forty-five, Haven started arranging the food on large platters and placing them on warmers stop the elegantly dressed buffet.

"Can I carry the roundellos?" Clementine asked.

"Sure. Come help me put them on the pretty plate first," Haven replied.

Clementine grew quiet as she concentrated on moving the pastries from the paper towels onto the plate. When she turned around, Haven discretely rearranged them to look neater.

"Okay Mommy, they're ready," Clementine said, a smile lighting up her face.

Sarah turned around, looking at the massive tower of roundellos Haven was situating.

"Can I carry it? Please?"

"Let me carry this one, kitten. It's really heavy."

"Okay. What can I carry?"

"You want to carry the one you made?"

"Oh, yeah!" Clementine shimmied down from her stool and crossed to one of the other counters where he roundello was resting. "Got it!"

"Is it still hot?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's go pick out a table."

Clementine, carefully balancing her treat in her hands, followed Haven out into the dinning room.

"Where do you want to sit?"

Clementine hesitated, seeming to debate with herself as to which table she liked the best. She finally picked one in the middle of the room and set her treat down on one of the plates.

Haven grinned, reaching her hand out. "Alright, monkey, let's go!"

Clementine trotted back into the kitchen. Haven gave her a damp rag and had her start washing the counters while she and Sarah finished laying out the breakfast.

Guests started to trickle in, lining up at the buffet and loading their plates.

Haven kept an eye on the food, making sure nothing ran out while Sarah moved out to the living room to make sure it was clean and ready for the after breakfast goers.

"Mommy, I'm hungry. Can I eat my roundello now?"

"Sure."

"I'll go get it!" Before Haven could stop her, Clementine bolted through the door and into the dinning room.

Panic shot through Haven's mind and she started after her, but Clementine was already on her way back.

"Got it," she grinned.

"Hey what have I told you before?" Haven asked sharply, bending down to meet Clementine's gaze and grabbing both her arm to stop her.

"I… I don't remember."

"Yes you do. Don't go out into the dinning room by yourself when we have guests," Haven snapped, her grip tightening around Clementine's arms.

Clementine nodded, her smile vanishing.

Haven straightened, her heart pounding in her chest so hard it was painful. She nodded towards the kitchen table and Clementine walked over and sat down. She put her roundello on the table and just stared blankly at it.

Haven's eyes welled up, though she continued to keep additional food hot and ready to go back on the stove. She looked over at Clementine, sitting at the table in silence. Her roundello was getting cold and the look on her face made Haven't heart rip in half. She mentally thrashed herself. Why could she never think before reacting?! The image of Clementine's precious little face flickered in her mind and the tears spilled over her lashes.

Clementine stood up and slowly approached Haven. "I'm sorry, Momma," she murmured, her fists balled up as she fiddled with her mouth.

Haven's throat tightened. She knew Clementine just got excited and wasn't thinking; of course she didn't intentionally do anything wrong. And it wasn't even like she'd done something she wasn't supposed to do—Haven had let her do out with guests before, how was she supposed to know when she could and when she couldn't?

Haven knelt down on the floor and enveloped Clementine in a hug. The little one's arms fastened around her neck. "No, I'm sorry, kitten. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," Haven whispered, afraid her voice would break if she spoke aloud.

"Okay, who's hungry?" Sarah asked brightly as she sauntered back into the kitchen. She stopped and frowned curiously at Haven.

Haven stood, wiping her face with her hands. She gave Clementine another hug before picking her up and grabbing her roundello. She followed Sarah out into the dinning room and down the buffet, making a plate for both herself and Clementine.

Clementine, back to being enthusiastic over her treat, practically inhaled it. Icing smeared on her face, though she didn't seem to mind.