The Mysterious Ad

--Slam--

Inside a rather simple yet humble apartment, a door was slammed open as a teenage boy with messy blond hair, green eyes, white skin, and thick black eyes glasses on his face, and he was also wearing an oppai jacket with normal-looking white sweat pants along with red socks and slippers.

He was really thin and scrawny looking and was about 5'2 in height he was also full of wounds evidence of this was that he was holding his broken right arm that was cast as he walks into his apartment with an annoyed and pissed look.

You see this boy's name is Allen Mercury he turns 18 years old today as today is February 14 or in most modern traditional culture Valentine's Day... you would think that today would be a very happy day for Allen well it's the opposite why you ask, a very good question indeed and to get the answer we must first understand his situation.

"Just great I have been set up after spending so much money on that phone and ring I purchased with the last of my savings all for the purposed of giving it to my so-called girlfriend I was so happy that after 997th failed attempts of getting a girlfriend I was finally successful at my 998th attempt, but I guess I was wrong it was a setup and good plan robbery that happen in broad daylight."

You see Allen meet a rather nice-looking girl she looks so innocent and sweet but yea after she sends him to the location they should have met, she made him ends up in an abandoned park where he was attacked by a blond delinquent as he was mercilessly beaten him to a pulp, and had to get his hand-cast on his birthday.

The worst part is his so-called girlfriend Rebecca took part in it as well as she was laughing in his face calling him a loser, dead weight, moron, gullible, and a lot of other hurtful things, you can't blame Allen for falling for this trap.

As the Park is used as a place where couples could secretly sneak in and have a picnic since the view is amazing and you can see the entire city from there as well, he swore he was going to score today in more ways than one if you catch his drift.

But the innocent-looking girl punk his ass and played him for a fool and the worst thing is the delinquent keeps touching her and kissing her since they were a couple, and the last word the girl leaves him with was.

"Haha, you pitiful thing thanks for the incomes... now both I and my stud of a boyfriend are going to enjoy ourselves at some random love hotel if catch my drift, you scrawny midget."

Allen looks at the two with a very angry look as they walk away, he couldn't do anything as he was weak the only, he could have done was shout with great anger in his voice as he wants to make a point account of his height.

"I'm not a fucking midget you bitch I just haven't hit my growth spurt yet that's all right hahaha... of course that is it after all everyone stops growing when they reach 21, I'm still 18 there is still hope yes, I'm just a late bloomer that's all I hope."

--Present time--

*Sigh* "What a day I spend my entire birthday in a hospital treating my wound, like my lord, I got a late number today, oh men I just wish things would go my way when it matters you know, but that just wishful thinking at this point and time *sigh* can't you give a fallen brother a break life-chan."

*Sigh* "I feel like crap and the fact I have no cake to drown my sorrow in for my birthday is even more depressing cause I'm broke as a hobo."

"Oh wait, god don't tell me that means nooooooo... I have to eat oats again *Sigh* at least I still have one more day of internet connection so I can download a shit ton of things to hold me up till next payday."

Allen said with a depressive tone in his heart, but that wasn't enough to get him down, as he was thinking some things to himself, he began smelling a very horrible smell he had been smelling for a while now.

"Sniff, sniff oh... god What is that horrible smell I have been smelling from morning ahh sniff, sniff that the nose slaying smell from when I went from the hospital, but why am I smelling it here."

But Allen couldn't find the source of the smell till he walks towards the kitchen he was a little shocked as he passes the full body mirror and saw what the horrible scent was and that was when it hit him.

"O' God please no is this why people were avoiding me the whole of this morning and taking pictures and videos while laughing at me, and why the Nurse was spraying air fresher every minute and made me sit on the floor."

Allen looks and saw that his new white sweat pants had a huge amount of dog turd spreading and covering his entire buttocks area most likely when Rebecca's boyfriend pushes him to the ground he accidentally fell and sit in it without him recalling it.

Allen knows how he got it, but from other people's perspective, it looks like he shit himself and had quite the accident he then drops to the ground with a single drop of tear coming out of his left eye as he said.

"Well, there goes my social and online reputation."

But amazingly Allen didn't despair about it for long as got up while sighing as he said.

"Oh well, such is life, *Sigh* let us get cleaned up I guess, and right after I am going to delete every social media account, I have in existence dye my hair black, get a tan tomorrow and start wearing brown contacts lens at least that way I can avoid the eyes of many people who seen the countless video of me shitting myself or that what they will think."

"In this world survival is a bitch thot on the right, an innocent-looking devil on the left, and the discriminative people lingering behind me, while in the front is the unknown as you never know what going to be thrown at you... so you have to keep a positive mentality and adapt along with your surrounding because if you don't you will get nowhere."

"And since I already sense the storm that is approaching, I am going to fight against that storm at all cost by changing my appearance perfect plan now time for a shower."

Allen then took off his turd-covered pants opened the window and yeeted them into the garbage downstairs little did he know a homeless man was sleeping peacefully in that garbage can till he walks away from it, and heard a weird noise.

"Agh.. oh god it's everywhere ahhhhhh!"

Allen turns and look outside and spoke.

"Was it my imagination or is that the scream of a man that has just experienced the most horrible and traumatizing experience in his life, ehhh... maybe it just the wind?"

Allen then went to take a shower and dress in a full blue pajamas as he made his way to his desktop as he said while looking out the window then to his door, and to make sure his landlord doesn't walk in on him like last time, and yea that didn't end well for Allen, but this time around he was smarter.

He locks the door this time while placing the refrigerator behind the door since she has a key yea, I can't pay the light bill when it is so expensive, so he normally keeps the fridge un-plugged at all times it doesn't have anything in it sooo... its new job is now a strong barricade to block out annoyances with access to his apartment room.

As he walks to his small and cramped room as he went behind his computer and spoke.

"The time has finally come my soldiers our battle shall be legendary". Allen said as he looks at the pack of baby wipes and a bottle of lotion as he began to type his forbidden spell in the browser search bar.

*Tap*

*Tap*

[Hentai-Hell]

He then presses enter as he said.

"The promised time has finally come hahahaha... ahahahaha". Said Allen laughing like an insane psychotic pervert as he grabs one of his fearless soldiers from the pack.

And waited for the certain forbidden spell to show him the forbidden goods but sadly what came up was something different as Allen said with a deadpan face.

"What the hell is this didn't I pay so no ads will show up what the hell man."

Allen looks at the scream reading what the screen reading what the mysterious ads said.

[Would you like an opportunity to be a part of the ROB entertainment program]

"ROB as in Random Omnipotent being, the hell is this bullshit let X-out before I catch another virus on this old computer."

But sadly, Allen couldn't find an X-out button so he restarts it and retypes in the words but the same thing came up again, and he couldn't press no since the two options are either [yes] or [hell yea] which isn't even an option and more like someone forcing him to click either one.

So, he decides to restart and this time type something else.

[Hentai Angel]

But the same thing pops up again so he tried again and again with many different sites, but it just pops up once more.

The outcome becomes so annoying to the point Allen just gave in and spoke.

"Ahhh... find I will join if it means I can have the legendary battle that I long for.... as I have had a very rough and tuff day, and this is the only way I can bring some light to it". Said Allen as he was dead on both the inside and the outside at this moment and time as he clicks hell yea."

He was then led to a survey site where he heard the voice of a woman speaking or more like asking a question as the woman speak, these words came in like animation and spoke.

[If you were allowed to transmigrate to another world, what would you do]

Allen watches as this weird question came out as he laughs at it and spoke.

"Hahaha... men these anime and otaku gaming and survey sites are getting weird as of lately ok here's my answer."

[I would look for a beautiful overpowered and well influential wife so I can love and live a carefree life of course a badass one as well with action now and again I guess]

From there, Allen sends in his response as another question came in this time it was more realistic at that as well.

[What are your preferences in women a secret fetish for say]

"What kind of personal shit is this *sigh* a secret fetish ha... well my fetish is impossible as I don't have the balls nor the confidence to approach the woman of that category."

Allen then types once more.

[I had always had a thing for goth-like girls maybe a bad delinquent type I like cute and innocent ones as well honestly, I love them all let us just say my preference is rather unique and confusing as I don't know what I want to have]

After sending that in, another question came in as this one was more his thing as he like these Preddit questions where you can ask a random question like these as it asks.

[If you were sent into a survival game where world-ending entities are after your life, and death is constantly surrounding and following you what three abilities would you pick everything is fair game as long as it is in reasoning and not direct Godhood you have 30 seconds to choose three abilities]

"Ahhh I hate these with timers thankfully I have already thought of this before believed it or not, long before this survey even came out."

Allen then began typing what three abilities he would have wanted in a situation like that as the three abilities he would want were these three.

. Transmutation

. Eternal Evolution

. Perfect Appraised

He then presses enter and after fifteen seconds had passed; he got a notification with a letter saying.

"Human you are interesting I swear you were going to wish for Absolute immortality, infinite mana or infinite power, time manipulation, or even thing like a bullshit system with every power in existence that would have just been boring and we would have destroyed you for been boring since we ROB feel humble, please pick one more ability, and take your time just don't make it anything insane that can destroy an entire world."

Allen looks at this and spoke.

"These surveys are getting more real each year; ok I know what additional ability I would want for a survival death scenario like this since survival is the end game how about this."

. Perfect Self Replication

From there yet another note came as it said.

"Interesting very interesting we like your decision human, very well Perfect Self Replication it is."

"Weird but ok next question my legendary battle is being delayed seriously here, but ok."

Then another question came in for Allen this one was also a favorite of his as it asks.

[If you had start point, what race would you want to be please noted you can't pick Demigod, dragonkin, Phoenix, or Vampire as those are boring and is not in the new ROB system logs apart from that everything else is a game]

"Ohh that sucks I always wanted to be a vampire that can walk in the sun and eat anything I want and to have great charm and be very tall and handsome as well hahaha... me and my delusions again."

"But since we're talking about an actual survival game with some crazy person with omnipotent abilities then I would want to start as a high human reason be their lifespan are at least a couple thousands of years old, they have great mana control, and aura control and a saying in this world human is the most adaptable so high human can adapt to some scary things like for example deadly poison well going by fanfic terminology."

From there another note came as it said with a great interest for Allen's way of thinking."

[Your way of thinking is not the normal candidate you could have picked a demon or fallen angel an elf or Gordon why remain human]

Allen responds to the bot as he types in the following.

"Why remain human you are underestimating the human race bot-chan humans are far more than everyone anticipated them to be our intelligent are already at the level we're playing God, we can adapt if given time through constant evolution as we passed down or trial and errors to the next generation."

"Where the type of species that can counter everything and anything this world throws at us due to our thirst for power, but don't get me wrong any other race could have gotten the same opportunity, but regardless of those humans have always been the type to find a backdoor to a problem, in short, we humans are far more dangerous than any fantasy race you can think of if we are given enough time to evolve that is as we hate the term impossible".

The bots were a little taken back at Allen's claim about humans who were the weakest race in multiple universes as they responded as such.

"Human we have decided that you are not normal and decide to test you by giving you the hardest romance campaign and after the survey and transfer is complete, we will explain to you your current situation in further detail now entertain us and please do finish we shall not disturb you from here on out."

From there another question came up.

[If you were given a new life and new purposed, what would you want to be called in this life, please be advised that your name hold power, and hence fort it shall give you a unique ability so choose your name wisely as this name shall be permanent and can't be changed till worldly condition are met remember names hold power]

"Oh wow you have these questions as well hmm well I like my last name since my adoptive parent are all dead that's why I keep it but the name Allen nope never did like it so I would have gone with this since it's a badass name I came up with as a child."

Allen began to type in the name he would want to go by in the next world as he surprisingly was been sucked in by the survey influence as the name, he chose was this.

[Mercury van Anguish]

From there another notification came as it said.

[You have picked the name, [Mercury Van Anguish] as your new name, are sure you want this as your new name please be advised you won't be able to change it until worldly conditions are met]

*Sigh* "This is getting annoying my promise time is been cut short."

[Yes]

[Congratulation your new name is now [Mercury Van Anguish] according to players' preferences]

[Due to the User picking a very unorthodox name unique skill: Hermes has been added]

"Eh... is this some new game that they are secretly trying to find beta players for oh sweet I had been a Beta tester once, but to get them like this it's is rare well I have one more question so yea."

As Allen send in the response with an entrance, he waited for the last question and it came in but the only problem was that the last question itself was a rather mess up one as it asks.

[If you could have chosen any way to die, how would you want to go out]

"The hell this went dark really quick, but ok here how I would have wanted to go out or more like if I had to die, I would want to take everyone with me cause the people here is a set of ass-hole."

Mercury then began to smile sadistically as he was been drawn survey influence as began to type in the following words that would cause the greatest mass extinction event to occur his response read as followed.

[World extinction style: A giant Meteor the size of the moon came crashing down killing everyone and me while all the worthless bitches who deserve a horrible death, and people who deserve to die slowly burn in the flame, and those who doesn't deserve it doesn't feel anything and go to the heaven if there is one, of course, and I also don't feel anything]

Allen then sends in his reply as he got up from the computer and went to eat his oats as he was well turned off after those series of questions.

He then turns on his tv in the kitchen, and what he saw gave him a serious amount of chill as he listing to the emergency news.

[Were all going to die a giant Meteorite just came out of nowhere as it was given the name Mercury and also it is a...

The new station cut off as Allen was eating his oats and slowly get off the table as he went into the hall and pull out a wine from the fridge and heads it up the warm bottle of Scottish Wine, as this was the birthday wine he was going to share with Rebecca and proposed to her but that didn't happen so in his last moment he looks at the computer as he had a smile on his face and said.

"Bloody hell."

The great mentor came from the sky as it reach the Earth's atmosphere all Allen could do was take another sip and watches to flaming colossal was engulfed with raging hot flames as it came crashing down towards Allen take off his glasses and take another sip of wine as his last words were.

"Fuck I'm going to die a virgin hahah... pathetic."

*BOOM*

From there the giant Meteorite came and kill everyone as everything was destroyed families died, animals die, humans die everyone dies, Allen forcefully presses the extinction button on his planet, of course, he didn't know this survey was real.

And that day Allen Mercury died and the next time he got up he will be Mercury Van Anguish the king of genocide and the greatest entertainment the ROBs will ever see.