Chapter 28: Wiccan Insensitivity [From Non-Simon POVs]

"Unlike most of the party games and card games you have played before, Wiccan Insensitivity is as despicable and awkward as you and you friends," George read out loud, acting as if he had never seen the game instructions before, "The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a black card, and the other players answer with their funniest white card."

While George pretended to play his first game ever with Roger, Fahim and Jake, he could not help being stunned at the popularity of the game he and his friends had developed. It took him two days' wait to even get his hands on the Ravenclaw common room set, as students in the most bookish house had been playing this bawdy game nonstop since it landed in their common room. It proved a great stress-reliever for the Ravenclaws, as many games had been banned in their common room. Exploding Snap and Gobstones were seen as too dangerous to play in the Ravenclaw common room since it might destroy their private library collection. Chess is not banned but not many in this intellectually competitive house would deem it a stress-reliever. Wiccan Insensitivity did not blow anything up and everyone enjoyed a good laugh at the Hogwarts' staff and greater wiccan community's expense.

"There was a mass breakout in Azakaban. I heard they used *blank* to escape," Jake read out, "What's Azakaban?"

*"High-security wizard prison"* appeared on the black card. George thought it was a brilliant idea when Simon suggested the cards would answer some basic questions of players in case they did not understand what a card was mentioning. It was great for muggle students to get to know the wizarding world and also helpful to younger wizarding students.

"Got it," Jake replied gratefully to the card, "Now, what words have you guys got for me?"

After some deliberation, George, Fahim and Roger push their white cards forward. Jake flipped them up one by one.

"The spellbinding voice of Celestina Warbeck."

"A group of sexy veelas."

"Dumbledore's knickers."

A brief explanation of Celestina Warbeck and veelas also appeared on the card after Jake was silent for a while.

"I got to go with Dumbledore's knickers. It is a classic and I am sure it is very magical given he is the most powerful wizard in the world," Jake said, as Fahim punched the air victoriously and the number *"1"* appears in the air beside him to show he has earned a point from this round.

"Oh come on, sexy veelas was definitely better!" Roger retorted, "Even dementors would be distracted by them!"

"And not by the voice of Celestina Warbeck?" George added.

"Look, you guys can decide what's funny in the next rounds so it's all fair okay?" Jake argued, "Now can Roger pick the next question card?"

---

"I have gotten 20 orders just in the past hour," Jae grinned, "You sure you can keep up with the orders?"

"We got over 100 boxes ready already, and can churn out another 100 in a week," Fred replied, as he continued his game of Exploding Snap with Jae.

Given they were both in Gryffindor and Fred often sought Jae for prank equipment and advice, the gang thought that Fred would be the perfect liaison for the business without raising any eyebrows. Fred did make sure to also cast "Muffliato" to prevent people from eavesdropping.

"Useful spell you got there. Where did you get it?"

"Oh, a friend found in scribbled in some old notebook."

"Is that for sale?" Jae smirked, clearly loving to get his hands on any dodgy materials that can earn him some galleons.

"Think the notebook burst into flames after my friend skimmed through it."

"What a pity. But honestly, I was a bit sceptical at first when you guys said there is a card game you want me to help sell," Jae noted, making his next move with his cards, "But I guess I made another solid investment."

"Well, we will keep you posted when we have more stock or develop some other games or products…"

---

"With all due respect Headmaster, this is getting out of control!"

Dumbledore chuckled as Severus Snape grimaced while recounting how he heard his "slimy hair" and "menacing voice" had made its way into the new card game that took Hogwarts by storm.

"I mean children always come up with the silliest things, don't they?" the old man replied with the usual warm twinkle in his eyes.

"I have examined a set from our very own common room and this involved some very complex charms, similar to those used in making Exploding Snap, so I highly doubt this is made by children," Professor Flitwick commented, "More likely some alumni with knowledge of Hogwarts inside-jokes who are manufacturing this game."

Snape scowled at Professor Flitwick essentially equating his hair and voice to "Hogwarts inside-jokes".

"While some of the jokes are a bit…*distasteful*, I do not think the game is necessarily something we need to worry about at this moment," Professor McGonagall interjected, to the surprise of Snape who assumed the usually stern Gryffindor Head of House would be on his side on this matter.

She seemed to have noticed the look from her Slytherin colleague but she continued, "Like Filius, I, of course also examined the cards to ensure there are no curses or other unsavoury aspects to the cards besides their contents. I similarly found nothing of concern. I even went one step further to find some additional information on the cards' origins."

Dumbledore smiled at Professor McGonagall's comment. One of the reasons he could manage Hogwarts with such a hands-off approach was due to the meticulous work of his Deputy Headmistress.

"The patent was registered in the ministry a few weeks ago with the help of eminent lawyer Bartholomew Rowle."

This comment earned a positive reaction from most of the Heads of Houses and even Filch, who was also attending this meeting. Bartholomew Rowle was highly respected in the magical legal field and for his willingness to help many underprivileged clienteles despite his illustrious surname. Filch could still remember when Bartholomew Rowle offered to help members of the Society for Betterment of Squibs in the bargaining some of their employment contracts in both the wizarding and muggle world pro-bono.

"I had written to Mister Rowle for more information. While Mister Rowle of course is unable to share the name of his client on grounds of confidentiality, he said his client was only a humble card and board game maker, with no questionable connections."

These comments appeared to ease any remaining concerns of Professor Flitwick and Professor Sprout, while Professor Snape still looked like he wanted to burn any card set he saw.

"Actually, can you all give me a little more information as to the level of popularity of this "Wiccan Insensitivity" game?"

"Let us say, Albus, that the children would rather play this game than even causing trouble in the hallways," Professor Sprout explained.

"Is that truly the case?" Professor Dumbledore asked, turning to the caretaker who had yet to really say much in this meeting.

"It is true," Filch grunted, "Even the Weasley twins have not been up to something for a while." As much as he hated how his love of shackles and receding hairline had made it into this bloody card game, he was certainly dealing with a lot less pranks and fights in the corridors once the games came about. Snape noticed that too but given Snape's track record of tormenting students he found "dumb" and his obsession with his teen crush and nemesis to this day, he was not really a what one would call "mature".

"Well, it is settled then," Dumbledore said cheerily, "We will let the students play this game as long as we do not see any overly inappropriate cards being included in the sets."

Everyone nodded, except Snape, who looked quite defeated. Once everyone left the Headmaster's office, Dumbledore wondered if he had been spending too much time on his Wizengamot and International Confederation of Wizards duties. He was losing touch with what the children found cool!

Dumbledore decided he needed to find out how to order a set of these cards himself. After all, he heard his knickers, socks and fashion sense all earned the honourable mention in this hilarious game.