12 The Sea

Saera burst hopefully through the door to Jin's room, only to feel her heart plummet with the realization that it would be another lonely night. In the past week Jin had been so busy that he didn't even return in time for the evening meal, answering calls from all ends of the family's land. Grumbling to herself, Saera tugged a comb through her hair a bit too roughly. Why was Akira ambling around while Jin worked longer hours than even the sun?

Saera was reading by candlelight when Jin finally returned. He swung the door closed behind him and beelined straight to where she sat without saying a word. When his arms wrapped around her, Saera raised her eyebrows - rarely was Jin so affectionate.

"Saera." Jin sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. His head rested on her lap like a child's. After a moment, Saera gently brushed the hair out of his face. The strands were damp, smelling of soap; he'd bathed in the hot springs before coming.

"You're so late today." She continued to stroke his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. The unruly strands tried to fall back into his eyes no matter what she did.

"I'm sorry. This week has been so busy." He looked up at her, pleadingly. "Please forgive me."

Saera tried to hide her surprise. Since when did noble men feel any obligation to a woman? Jin's consideration touched her, and a small warmth sparked in her chest.

"There's nothing to forgive," she murmured. "I'm just worried about you. I didn't realize your schedule was so demanding."

"I'm so tired," Jin moaned into her skirts.

Saera hesitated, trying to frame her question politely. "Jin… is there no one in the family that shares the work with you? Maybe Akira?"

Jin gave a humorless laugh. "Akira! I'm doing all of his work plus my own. They put him on hiatus for what he did, and now he wanders around with nothing to do." A small voice in Saera's mind protested when he lifted his head from her lap. "Today was the last day, though. I won't be so busy anymore." He took one of her hands and held it beseechingly. "I hope you're not angry with me."

Saera blinked, stunned by how good-looking and sweet he was. How could she be angry when he looked at her with those wide, dovey eyes?

---

In the morning, Saera woke to the sound of Jin humming softly. She opened her eyes to see him bustling around the room. He was half dressed, his shirt untied, splashing cool water over his face and neck. Saera blinked the sleep from her eyes and watched him quietly, burrowing into bed and pulling the covers up over her chin like a child.

The man she was to marry seemed to be in a good mood. His humming changed to quiet singing, his voice sweeter and softer than she'd expected. He stood in front of the looking glass, pushing his hair back with wax, when he saw Saera watching him in the reflection. His lips split into a smile, the charm of it dazzling her like stars flashing in front of her eyes.

Jin knelt at the side of the bed so their faces would be level and brushed a strand of hair off of Saera's forehead. She noticed he was wearing a new earring, a slim silver dagger that dangled down his jaw. It flashed in the morning sun, matching the silver chain that rested against his collarbone.

Jin tucked the strand of hair behind her ear, his expression soft. His affectionate touch was so welcome after his absence in the last few days. She sat up in bed, moving over to make room for him, and he sat on the bed beside her.

"I want to talk to you today," he said, taking one of her hands and playing with it gently. "About where we'll live. We could stay here, but I'm hoping you might consider somewhere else. It's always been a bit of a hope of mine… and there's somewhere I want to show you."

Saera blinked at him in surprise and was quiet.

"I'm sorry, you just woke up." He laughed. "You must still be tired."

"I thought you would be more tired. You were barely here." Saera's voice came out hoarse and she swallowed, moistening her throat. "I've barely seen you the last days." Jin had fallen asleep so quickly the previous night that they'd had no time to talk.

The smile slipped from Jin's face. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you alone, but with the added work, every day just kept me later and later." His hand squeezed hers, hopeful that she would forgive him.

"We only have thirty days."

"What?"

"With the way the tradition works… we only have thirty days to get to know one another."

Jin looked at her quizzically. "We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other."

They looked at each other, neither fully grasping the other's point of view. Saera tried again.

"I didn't know Akira wasn't working. I thought perhaps you were unhappy."

"With work?" Jin frowned, trying to understand.

"With me. That you were avoiding me." She saw understanding click in his eyes, and then a genuinely sad look passed over his face.

"That's not true at all."

"Well…" Saera tried again methodically to communicate, not shy. "You've barely touched me since the fireworks. I thought you didn't enjoy it."

"I want to kiss you every time I see you."

Saera opened her mouth and closed it again, confused.

Jin clasped her shoulders, his face earnest. "It's hard to kiss you and… not go any further. I thought I could do it, but that first night… I thought I was going to die…"

Saera raised one skeptical eyebrow.

"It's the truth! I have to make sure I don't get carried away. It's like I told you, I can't break the tradition… "

Saera sensed both truth and falsity in his words. Jin seemed honest, but it felt like something was missing. When she pressed him again, he adamantly stood by his confession, and spoke softly. "When… When I kiss you, it rouses my whole body like a rolling sea. The waves are stronger than me, and I can't fight it for long. It's painful to… fight the sea." A red flush crept over his ears.

Saera stared at the man in front of her, whom she had met only recently but whom her body craved more than anyone before. Without more information, she wasn't able to understand what Jin meant, let alone decode why Akira had changed their engagement in the first place. For now, she would have to let the issue go. "Aren't you going to be late?"

Jin perked up at the change in conversation, the furrows vanishing from his brow. "Not today. If you want, we can go eat in the town. I remember you liked the food from the festival." His eyes were earnest and honest, a rich and truthful golden brown. He may not be telling me the whole truth, Saera thought, but I think he's telling me part of it.

Saera got out of bed and walked to the wet room, conscious of Jin's eyes following her. She slid closed the screen to the wet room and quickly washed her face and detangled her hair, rubbed lotion into her skin, and freshened her mouth with a licorice stick. She decided to forego makeup that day, settling instead for a sheen of sweet almond oil on her lips and small gold earrings. Pleasure fluttered in her chest at the thought of spending the day with Jin, and another feeling, too - stubborn, insistent desire.

Jin sat at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, reading from a scroll he held in his hands. He smiled when she approached, a sweet smile that reached his feline eyes. "I wanted to show you this - "

Saera gently took the page from his hands and placed it on the bed behind them, ignoring Jin's protests. His hair was soft like silk when she buried her hands in it, cradling the back of his neck and pulling his face to hers. After a moment his body softened like melting ice, and his lips responded enthusiastically for the first time in weeks, sending a thrill running down Saera's spine.