Chapter I

"You are fine. You both are," said Mrs Johnson with a smile. She took a small bottle and a syringe.

Janet winced. I knew she was scared of syringes. Mrs Johnson wasn't surprised too.

"It's time you get used to it. Your medicine pattern has changed, now you will have three doses a day." She said.

First, she injected on me, well I wasn't scared of syringes but it still felt terrible to see Janet unhappy. She has changed, and I felt Mrs Johnson knew why. I did not ask, not while Janet is near. She left after injecting it to Janet.

Janet sighed as she lay back on the hospital bed. I looked at her, she had closed her eyes. Something was bothering her. I can feel it, Of course, I am her twin. I felt my throat too dry to speak. I took her hand and squeezed it gently. She was sad, really sad. Maybe I knew why she was sad. We haven't seen anybody for the past five months. We went through a lot of surgeries, a lot of them mainly for me. We had to drop our high school. We haven't seen our friends yet. This will upset anyone.

Seeing her like this, a memory came to me, a painful one. I remember my first ever surgery. I heard my mom crying beside me, my dad was comforting her. The door opened and three surgeons came inside and whispered something to Dr Smith. He nodded. Then the three surgeons came near me. I felt a horror pass through me. Janet was asleep beside me in the same bed. We were always together. I remembered Mrs Johnson saying that I was going to have surgery. I clutched Janet's hand. The surgeons lifted me from the bed and placed me on another bed. I was being transported to another lonely room, far from Janet. I was tired, I gasped for my twin. The surgeon looked down at me, "You are gonna be alright. Ready, Jane?"

I nodded. He closed the door when Dr Smith entered the surgery room. I was sweating rather badly. I clenched my hand so tight that my knuckles turned white.

"It's fine. It's just a small surgery, you will be with your twin soon as this gets over," said Dr Smith. I hoped for the best. The lights blinded me. I closed my eyes tight. I knew I will be safe, she will be safe. Terrible pain in my head then everything was gone. I woke up in my bed with Janet. She was stroking my hair. "You are awake" she cried and hugged me. I hugged her back. I looked around. The room was empty except for us.

"Everybody is at the canteen having lunch. Mom refused to leave for food but I had to force her," she said answering my questioning glance.

She stared at me, "I was so scared for you." she said. I smiled "me too".

I was sucked back to reality when there was a knock on the door. My eyes were slightly unfocused. Janet had opened her eyes and was staring at me.

"You alright?" she asked.

"mm-hmm"

Alexei came in. He was a golden boy with ruffled brown hair and golden eyes. He was our only laugh at the hospital. As always he had a huge grin on his face. "Morning, girls," he said as he adjusted a space beside our bed and Jumped in.

"So?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"Guess what? My dad is coming next month" said Alexie.

This cheered both of us. Alexie's parents got divorced when he was nine. He stayed with his mom. He hasn't seen his father since his tenth birthday. His father is coming to visit him after seven years. He was giggling with excitement.

Alexie was admitted to the hospital for a spinal tumour. He only has twenty per cent of survival, but he still wore a smile on his face.

"What's up with you Janet?" he asked.

"It's boring in here" she replied.

"Well there is something that might cheer you both some more," he said

"Oh yeah"

"Lily had a baby girl yesterday"

This news did cheer us both.

"We could meet them if you like" he offered.

"We would love to" we replied in unison.

We together went to meet Mrs Jaison. She was on the seventh floor. We offered to take the lift as Alexie have trouble walking.

"No, I can walk," he said firmly.

She was laying in her bed when we entered. Her husband was cradling the baby. She looked pleased to see us.

"Hey Lily" Alexie called

"Hi there. Haven't met the baby. Have you?" She said.

Alexie went near the baby while we followed him inside.

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"Oh, I'm feeling more than fine" Mrs Jaison said with excitement.

"How are you, twins?" Mr Jaison interrogated.

"Fine fine" we mumbled.

"Oh look, she is holding my hand," said Alexie. The baby was holding Alexie's pinky tight. He was giggling. Mr Jaison looked delighted.

"She loves me" Alexie was pleased with himself. I went near the baby. Janet was just staring at the baby. Her coffee eyes glistening against the morning glimmer. Janet was very sensitive. Alexie caught her gaze and blinked. She blushed. Janet came near the baby. We all rounded around Mr Jaison.

The baby let out a small whimpering sound when we huddled around.

We spend many hours with Mr and Mrs Jaison until Mrs Johnson came with a food tray.

"I knew you three would be here," she said as she helped Mrs Jaison with her lunch. "Now now, let's not disturb them, come on you three," she said to us.

We followed her down many rooms and counters until we reached the fifth floor where we have our lunch together. The table was prepared. Our dish was filled with leafy vegetables and cereals.

"Seriously, Estella?" Alexie protested "Fruits are better than this"

"Well you have to take care of your health, so this will be your lunch from now on," said Mrs Johnson.

"Can we at least have pudding after this?" Janet asked.

Mrs Johnson nodded. We talked so much while we had our lunch. At some point, Alexie said about his expectations of meeting his dad.

"I can't believe he is coming to see me. I never really had a good relationship with my mum. She is very strict and boring. I don't know why he left me or my mum. Maybe he is coming to celebrate my eighteenth birthday next month. Probably my last birthday."

"Hey, don't say that," I said.

"I heard Dr Smith talking to my mother yesterday. He said my condition will get worse. He said-"

"Stop, tell us about your dad" Janet interrupted.

"Okay. My dad used to work at an office. He used to tell stories about his adventurous trips. He also was a mountaineer. That's it. I want to go and scale a mountain. Or at least see a mountain. I've never seen a mountain in my life. All I remember is these hospital walls since I was nine. He promised he will take me with him once I was 12. Now I'm 17 and I'll turn 18 next month, he did not keep his promise. Just left me when I was 10" he said.

I felt terrible for him. I don't know if that's possible for him to go scale a mountain with his spinal tumour, he can barely walk nowadays. But I still love seeing him happy. Janet seemed happy too. We just need to get out of our room and talk to Alexie.

We finished our lunch and started walking to the canteen for pudding. We loved chocolate pudding. And it is fine for us to walk around as we have non-communicable diseases.

"Afternoon, Mrs Kate" Alexie wished.

"Regular order, then?" she asked with a gorgeous smile. That is the prettiest smile I have ever seen, I had thought when Janet and I first went to the canteen. Mrs Kate was young and pretty. She had ginger hair and vivid green eyes.

"Yup" we replied in unison.

We used to eat our pudding together from the balcony. We used to sit there until Mrs Johnson arrives. She is in charge of me, Janet and Alexie. She reminds us to take our medicine, prepare our breakfast, lunch, dinner, and she secretly takes us to the Old age health care facility. There we met many old aged people. We went there from time to time and spent time with them. Alexie hates going there because everyone will talk about dying soon and this depressed him. He was scared of death. He dreamt of dying before meeting his dad for the last time. His mum wasn't in a good relationship with his dad. I reckon his dad is coming back only to see his son.

Alexie gets upset whenever someone mentions having a happy childhood. He never really had a childhood.

"I was never loved by my mum" Alexie had said. "I had never felt loved by anyone. I knew my dad loved me, but still, he left me."

That was the first time I saw him cry. Janet was in tears too. I felt sorry for him.

After hearing his tragic past, I felt lucky for having a twin so that I was never alone, I had loving parents. Our mum was always with us. It's been very difficult to pay for our medicine and weekly surgery. So dad was always at work. But he still comes every night to give 'goodnight kisses' before sleep. He is frightened of losing us. Our sleep hasn't been easy either.

We walked to the balcony, where we share everything. We found three empty chairs and sat there. Janet was the first one to break the silence.

"Heard you have surgery in six days, Alexie. Are you scared?"

"Of course I am. What if something goes wrong?" said Alexie terrified.

"We all are here with you," I said clutching his hands.

"You are scared too," he said staring at my eyes. I looked away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to" Alexie began.

"I am scared" I admitted. "Growing up I had many dreams. I wanted to visit many places, I need to know more. But everything around me is making it hard. I am afraid my life will always be inside these hospital walls."

"Well I would like to do everything with Janet" I added. Janet chuckled. Alexie had a grim smile on his face.

"What do you want, Janet?" Alexie asked.

"The same. Be with Jane, always. " Janet said.

"So you don't want to go anywhere?" Alexie asked curiously.

"Jane will take me everywhere. Won't you, Jane?" she said smiling. I laughed.

It was 4 p.m. when Mrs Johnson came to call.

"Come on twins, it's time for your medicine" Mrs Johnson called as she came near.

" Alexie dear, your mum is waiting for you in your room." She added to Alexie.

Alexie shrugged, "see ya" and he left.

We walked to our room. Mum was dozing in her chair.

"MUM" we called together. She was startled and stood up quickly"I'm up," she said.

We laughed as we entered our room. Mrs Johnson was arranging the pills. "Estella dear, can Jane and Janet use mobile phones to-" mum began.

"Absolutely not," Mrs Johnson said firmly. "Their brain can't take the radiation. So no mobile or laptop" she added. She handed us three pills each, red, yellow and white. Mum sighed.

"Don't worry mum. We are fine." Janet said. "Yes, we are" I added. We both grinned to satisfy her. She smiled back and turned to leave. "I am leaving to buy some groceries, take care," Mum said. She kissed both of our cheeks and turned to leave. "Bye mum," we said and she left. Mrs Johnson arranged our medicine on the table.

"Eat these four pills before 7 o'clock" she explained. "And I will come to give you the injection at 8 o'clock. And do the breathing exercise," she said. " Call me if your pain increases" she added. Mrs Johnson smiled and left.

I and Janet laid on the bed. "Do the hair thing?" I said. Janet chuckled and started stroking my hair.

"Did you mean when you said you will take me everywhere?" Janet asked.

"I will take you anywhere you want. I will never leave you" I promised. She smiled.

We used to spend the evening reading books. I always chose 'All the bright places by Jennifer Niven.

"You read that book a hundred times" Janet would complain. "I still love it" I would say.

"So which book are you reading this week?" I asked Janet.

"I dunno, how about 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne?" She asked waving that book.

"It's great. Just don't cry your eyes out after reading it" I warned.

"Challenge accepted," she said confidently. I laughed.