The saddest time of my love

Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful"

It was the 3rd April 2009 at 8:34 pm, I received a message from my school time

friend Sonam "I am going to United States today, I will talk to you once I reach

there, take care".

I was in deep thought as what she wants to tell me, as she never sends me message like

that. It seems something very urgent and may be it is concerned with my life. She was my

school time friend and married to a software engineer. She was working in a software

company in Delhi. As her husband had been transferred to US and she was going to join

him there. It seems that the message had been sent from airport only.

Next day was a usual day for me. I simply forgot about her message too.

At around 8:30 pm she gave me a call and said "Hi Sameer, how are you? I was in

hurry that day so I simply sent you a message, because I was boarding flight to

US. I want to tell you something which seems to be very important in your life".

I was excited "What? Please tell me, I am dying to hear what you want to say."

She replies "I had been in Jammu for few days. I met Sonia‟s sister. She is going

to marry in the mid April and she was busy in preparations for the same. Please

forget about her as she is going to be someone else‟s wife now".

I became mute for a moment. It seemed as if someone has taken heart away from my

body, as if I was a body without soul, a warrior defeated in the battle of life. I was in

tears, my heartbeat increased and it seemed as if my heart will come out of my body.

She asked me, "Are you there Sameer? What has happened to you? Are you

alright?"

"Yeah, I am alright. When is she going to be married and what her fiancé do?" I

asked in great despair.

"Well I don‟t know more details about that, but Sonia works in a Delhi and her

fiancé is also in Delhi and also he is from southern part of India" She replied.

It reminded me of her reluctance to talk to her family on the basis of caste as in

her view her family had orthodox views in matters related to caste. But, what about her

marriage to a person, who was not only of different caste but belonged to a very different

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culture also. Why her orthodox family did not object to her marriage with that boy. I have

many questions to ask

Why she was not hesitant is talking about that guy with her family???????????

Why the person, who loved me, hid the relation from everyone even from her close

friends or simply she had played with my emotions??????????????????????????

Is love related to physical aspect of a person or is it related to emotions??????????

Last but not the least:-

If someone loves the person like me simply because of mercy, am I an object of

pity?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Do the persons like me have no right to

love?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

???????????

"How it all happened? How?" I asked her with tears.

"Forget about her dear. She does not deserve you, you will find a much better life

partner, forget about her once and for all".

"I am in tears Sonam. How can I forget her with whom I have spent two years of

my life? Why she has done this to me?" I asked with a broken heart.

"Leave her now dear, think about your life in future. I am feeling guilty, I should

not have told you about her", she said with guilt in her heart.

"Ok dear, I have to go now as I am not feeling well tonight, bye" I said.

She replied, "Take care of yourself and close this chapter once and for all dear

and please don‟t lose heart, take care, God bless you".

It was the most despairing moment of my life, even worst than the worst I have ever

experienced. Even worse than my breakup day. I was in tears, was sleepless the whole

night as if someone has taken something very precious away from me which is even more

precious than my life. I kept thinking of the past, the moments spent with her. I was

unable to understand what to do. I was like a dead person whose soul is out of his body.

Sometimes thought of ending life, but destiny desired something else.

"You have to live, not for yourself but for her, you have to. You have to find her

wherever she is and with whom she is, ask her many questions, ask her that why

she had ruined my life. Now, you have to ruin her life as she had done with you.

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Part her from her husband, then she would be yours, wake up, wake up, you have

to do that, you have to get your love at any cost, after all everything is fair in love

and war", devil in me kept on telling me to do that.

Next day was quite disturbing for me. I had a talk with my close friends. They

tried to soothe my mind and I felt a little better but not so much.

It was the mid of April, generally the marriage season and my beloved was also

going to be married in the month. I didn‟t know the exact date but whenever i saw a

marriage ceremony it hurt me as I was reminded that my beloved was also going to be

someone else‟s. It really hurt me and brought tears into my eyes.

The ghost of April 2009 haunted me very much. It seemed a gift which had been

gifted to me by God, is going to be someone else‟s now. Whenever I saw a newlywed

couple, I was reminded of her which greatly disturbed my mind. I was in dismaying state.

Often her remembrance haunted me. Her sweet voice, her beautiful smile, her love for

me, her promises with me, the dreams we had seen together, dreamt of having a beautiful

hut in the hill station, me and my beloved living a beautiful life where only love prevails,

she in my arms and I having an infinite love for her, but all my dreams dashed to the

ground. My love was in the mortuary and I was collecting the corpse of the time spent

with her.

Written by : Mr Syed Awais Ali Shah