CHAPTER FOUR

His hand felt warm, large and rough but yet it was still warm. His smile was beautiful and contagious that I couldn’t help but be happy when he smiled or laughed. His blue eyes always had that sparkle in them like sun rays on the ocean surface, and his hair looked like threads of gold in the sunlight.

The beast of a man was my friend once. The first friend I ever had. When everyone was against me, he was there to comfort me, and like the naïve stupid brat I was, I wanted to help him. To return everything he had done for me.

“I need your help” he said with concern that my heart clenched for him “I want to take you somewhere…. you will love it” he said once again when he saw I was not speaking, I frowned but nevertheless I nodded my head. Even though my gut and heart told me not follow him.

We walked for minutes without a single word, the minutes turned to hours until we reached a shady house on the outskirts of home, in the middle of the border. I knew I should have asked where we were going, but he was giving off a different aura the that warned me to keep quiet.

Once he closed the door behind us; the deal was sealed, my life before was forgotten, and I was bound to be by his side forever. Even beyond the gates of death. The claws I wanted to escape, the ones I thought only scarred my skin were in too deep that they entangled themselves with my soul.

I always wondered what my name before I forgot? Was it pretty or beautiful? Who or what was I named after? Mostly who was I before I forgot myself?

Even though he took me away, I could not imagine my life without him before he died. I would have been a nameless face, invisible to the world. Without him, I would have been less than nothing.

The feeling of losing something or someone who constantly hurts you but loves you at the same time, your entire existence revolved around them like the planets around the sun, but yet you couldn’t find it in your heart to let go of them. To leave them. To leave him.

My surroundings were cold and quiet except from the continuous beeping sound next to me that annoyed me to no end. I tried to open my eyes but they felt so heavy, my left eye felt weird like for a few moments, but still no matter how hard I tried to open my eyes, they would not open.

I could not move; I could not do anything but breath. I felt at peace and useless at the same time. My mind was foggy and in chaos as I tried to remember what happened, why I was laying there wherever ‘there’ was.

I counted the seconds that turned to minutes and later hours, soon it became an entire week until I counted a total of three hundred and sixty-five days of staying there and not moving, just breathing, and existing. I would feel myself fade in and out of consciousness every now and then, but still I would continue counting.

Until the day finally came, when that beeping sound stopped and only the sounds of footsteps and voices reached my ears “we are wasting our time, it’s just a scrap of metal that doesn’t work!” one voice said with so much regret and anger.

“Oh come on! You saw her tech Shanell! That’s real Malien tech right there!” another said frustrated, a humorless laugh echoed through the now quiet room from who I guessed was Shanell “so what?! We have Malien tech! we have no need for something useless!” Shanell said and I could hear her footsteps fade away before she shouted “Throw that away and let whatever happens happen!”.

Someone sighed and I felt warm hands grasping both ankles and drag me to what seemed to be the edge of a bed or table, my feet touched the cold floor as my head banged against something, but still my body refused to move.

I felt my self been rolled away and the air around me changed from the clear smell of oils and spirits to a mixture of used mixed oil and smoke, I wanted to see where I was, to move and feel the ground beneath me, but it seemed even after death his rules still applied to me.

Rule number one: No going outside. In that case, I was trapped inside my body.

The sound of a door opening and closing brought me back from my thoughts and whatever I was on brutally stopped and I fell forward “Well…that takes care of that” the voice from before said “such a pretty girl, who would have thought fate had ugly plans for you” he stated and I heard his footsteps fade away before the door closed.

Silence. No sound. Nothing. It was like I was stuck there existing but not living. I should have found the silence comforting from everything that happened to me, but fear caressed me and darkness embraced me. I felt so weak, but it was nothing new, I have done nothing but been weak from the first day.

I let everything happen without lifting a finger, it was better that way nothing would be my fault because I did not do anything. But I soon realized that doing nothing about it made it my fault, if I asked him where he was taking me that day, would I have been here suffering for god knows what. If I had healed Anna and all those kids who were adopted by death the moment they were mutated, would I have people searching for me, caring for me.

Leon’s face appeared in my mind grinning at me like he obtained all of life’s wonders, next to him was Lizzie clutching his arm with a tear stained face with a twisted grin that showed more than the eyes saw, and behind her was Renzo standing like her knight, he has amusement and madness as he looked at me. And then on his side was that beautiful boy who killed me with his colorful gun, beside him in a line stood the five golden masked people who killed him, the beast of a man.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, there he stood like; a king looking down on his subjects, a father scolding his daughter and a doctor aiding his patients.

“Rose” Leon whispered and I turned at him frowning, a chill ran down my spine and soon everyone was chanting my name, with madness and glee. I screamed for them to stop, I begged them to shut up, but they only grew louder and harsher. And then it became quiet, I opened my eyes and the scene in front of me was horrifying as I watched the beast of a man been killed by everyone I saw before.

They killed him! They took him away from me! Why?! Why did they take him away?! I couldn’t save him! I am useless! Worthless! They will pay! A life for a life! I will make them pay!

Then I felt so alone. Like never before. I felt this dark cloud over me, it was cold yet comforting. I was alone and worthless.