IF

Warning for audience ,sensitive content ahead, readers who are sensitive to body harm and violence are adviced to stop reading.

Elija sits in his usual spot at the playground. He just came back from school and he wanted to be productive. He went to help with breakfast but got kicked out so now he is just wondering around. as he sits there doing his homework a ball hits his knee . He looks up and finds his little friend Amane running towards him to get the ball for her self.

"I'm coming you guys I'm sorry I won't throw the ball that far again." Amane says. She picks up the ball sweating from the exercise she went through from playing football. she was always stiff and couldn't run that much because of a condition she had, yet she looked to be doing fine from playing around with her friends.

"oh hey lija." she says as she realizes which bench this was. "do you mind joining us? Maybe then they'll change their mind and instead of football they'll just catch the ball and throw it around."

"sure." Elija says as he starts packing up his homework.

"guys, guess what? Elija is joining us." she says skipping happily towards her friends. "no fair when I ask him he always says he is busy." Gem the six year old says as she approaches them.

"well I'm free now so let's play catch." Elija says as he takes his position.

"wait no I wanna stand next to Elija so I can pass the ball to him." Gem says hugging him from his knees as she was the shortest.

"what? but I want to pass the ball to him too." Amane crosses her arms.

"how about this, I'll stand in the middle and pass the ball to everyone." Elija says as he gets Gem off of his knees. As they all agree to what he said, he takes his position and they start playing. The eight year old Valery passes to Elija, Elija passes to Gem. Gem passes to Elija ,Elija passes to Amane. Amane goes to pass the ball but she puts too much pressure on it that it goes behind Elija and enters a trash can behind the orphang.

"Amane, not again." Valery says as she moves on to get it.

"ill go Valery." Elija says as he starts jogging there. "don't want you to go looking for balls in the trash can now." as he nears the trash can he hears very familiar humiliating words coming out of familiar people. He has heard that mocking tone enough to understand that those belonged to Manny, Xavier and Dolce. The teens who are far off on their own. But there was someone else in there with them. The kindest sweetest voice he's heard. The soothing voice of his friend yoenbuk who he hasn't seen in three days.

"we've been giving you signs that we know exactly who it was that night. You couldn't have been that dumb to not realize it. Especially after we burnt your hand enough for you to stay at the hospital for a while." he herd one of them say.

So that's where yoenbuk has been. How could they do such a thing. The day before today Elija had seen xavier heating up a spoon. It must have been how they burnt him. and here he thought he was doing enough for his friend but he felt a feeling that can only be described as guilt. he should have been there when that happened, but what was the use? he was never brave enough to stand up for his friend anyway.

he peeks from the corner to see yoebuks wrist seemingly de attached from his. it seemed like he could only see the color red on them angry at what happened. and this is after treatment at the hospital. the smooth skin was rigid and the creases forming made him see the cracks on the skin. and don't let me get started on the shape of the burn it was the shape of a spoon indeed. to say he was angry was an understatement. Elija was fuming.

" now that you know exactly what we do, we can't just let you go. And we also now your not going to keep it a secret you dirty little rascal. So we had a solution." Xavier the guy who Elija thinks was the one talking appears at the corner of his eye vision.

But as Xavier talks he gets interrupted by a phone. And even though Elija could not see him he could feel the rage in Xaviers eyes.

Yoenbuk ignores him and goes to answer the phone call. "take it away from him Dolce." Manny says.

"No, wait please I have to take this phone call its uncle Peter." yoenbuk protests.

Dolce ignores him and takes the phone while Manny ties him up from the back. "uncle Peter, huh? I bet he is only desperate to adopt you because he wants his wife to love him." Xavier says as he brings his legs back to kick him.

this was it. the question Elija would ask himself often was going to be answered. when was he going to step up and stop the tides? he had to do something. this was abuse. if only he would have known though that it made matters worse , would he have still stepped in?

as fast as he can Elija takes off his slipper and aims the ball "No." Elija shouts as he kicks the ball with all his might at them. the ball missed manny and it bumped into the wall with the hardest bang. he put all his force into this. it goes flying out of the alley catching the attention of Valery. Valery stands there confused until she goes to see what is wrong.

They all stop what they were doing. "how long have you been standing there?" Xavier says, a dark look in his eyes. You can tell by that look, that disgusting look, that that boy has consumed some substance he shouldn't have. Especially at that age.

"long enough to hear everything you guys said and record it on my phone you bunch of idiots." Elija says grabbing his knees since they hurt from the amount of pressure he put on the ball. he had been in action this whole time.

"am I just gonna order you around here or what," xavier shouts. "obviously he's on to us. Go get him." Elija would've ran but he couldn't leave yoenbuk alone. Even if its gonna be three grown teenagers against a little helpless boy. He would still try at least.

As Manny caches him by the right arm and tackles him to the floor, Elija's phone falls from his hands. Xavier approaches Elija who is now on the floor. Dolce stays by yoenbuk who is now unconscious.

"I have an idea xavier. Why don't we take this conversation to that warehouse we found last weekend? Its not too far if we take miss vons car again. But we have to make a walk across the woods. Are you fine with that?" Manny says, his hands in his pockets.

"fine by me, as long as we can teach those two a lesson for eavesdropping, I'm satisfied." xavier tells Dolce to carry yoenbuk and for Manny to get Elija . he can get the car so they can move.

In the meantime valery runs away from the alley to inform someone of what happened. As she walks by she bumps into a little blond boy with a black shirt on. He gets into the alley and sees one phone lying on the ground. the phone that belonged to Elija was not there but the phone that belonged to yoenbuk was. And he picks it up.

Elija has been tied up for more than fifteen minutes now but it feels like forever. He looks up to see yoenbuk finally awake. But he had a bat coming to his face. he already looks beaten up enough.

"we were finally having our way through the orphanage with miss von. She knew about this, but for her safety, and for the safety of all of the kids she says, she wasn't gonna tell anyone, But you, you had to come in the way. If I haven't stopped you that day. " xavier beats him up again." you would've told the police wouldn't you? That's why I had to burn your ego down with that spoon I heated up with a torch. "

Every time he would beat yoenbuk up the others would flinch. They would close their eyes as if it will go away once they open them again. But Elija doesn't even blink he stays there watching. " I'm tired of him already. And it looks like the other ones awake so let's get this over with." xavier looks at Dolce.

No action was made after that sentence. Dolce just stood there in silence his body suddenly not taking action from the shock. Maybe his body should've done that when he was taking drugs but its to late for that now.

" move dammit." Manny said only because he didn't want to do it himself.

Dolce goes towards Elija and unties him while the latter struggles. As they reach Xavier the violent boy grabs Elija by the shoulder. "let's see how tough you are." he says as he grabs him and starts to twist real hard that you can almost hear bones cracking.

"stop. Please. I wont tell anyone. We'll..... We'll just turn back to our normal lives." Elija screams at the top of his lungs.

"I don't buy your bull shit." Xavier twists harder only to be stopped by a shove. Yoenbuk had pushed him off. "get away you retarded drug fagot." yoenbuk says giving his best force.

Xavier, who falls on his back, puts his hands on his mouth to find it all bloody. "you really just did that. You gave it everything you could. Well I'm gonna do the same here kid." He holds the bat swinging back until you can't see but his side profile and finally releases the swing onto yoenbuk.

All while Elija stands a meter from the bat looking at it as it goes up and down after on the boy. seventeen times. it goes up and down. nonstop. at this point Elija was going to vomit from the sight of blood, but how dare he do this when his friend was getting beaten up, how dare he stay silent and how dare he stand there and just watch.

As Xavier stops he wipes his mouth again. "do it again yoenbuk you idiot. Come at me."

No response.

"awww, get up already."

"xavier." Manny says in shock. "I don't see him breathing."

At that Dolce goes crazy. "I knew we shouldn't have came here. I didn't wanna do anything in the first place. If anybody asks I'm gonna tell them you guys forced me. I didn't even want any of this the....." he goes silent as well as he falls on Elija's lap. Elija lets out a horrifired scream and pushes his body multiple times as he struggles to get up.

he was seemingly dead from the swing that turned out to have gave him concussion.

Elija on the other hand felt like he had a heart attack and couldn't move a single inch after as Xavier walked towards him.

But before anyone could do anything the police came flying in.

Everything happened so quickly that it felt like it wasn't real. Turns out after valery heard the conversation she told uncle Peter because she didn't trust miss von. And showed the recording Elija had on his phone.

After talking to each and everyone involved in the whole murder, they found out that miss von knew about it and had to be charged in the court room alongside the teenagers. and of course since they were teens they can't go to jail and it was just an accident because they are young and dumb like the police said. they would go to rehab though, but it made him sick knowing that they were still free to do whatever they want once they get out.

Elija felt like it was all the same but different.

He would sit on the bench but without yoenbuk and people would send him petty looks. He couldn't focus on his studies and his shoulders always hurt like hell. But he wouldn't treat his shoulders. He felt like he deserved what happened to them.

So day by day he would sit around staring at nothing. Thinking of what he could've done.

One day Valerie came up to him. "hey Elija." she said not calling him by his nickname. "someone wants to see you." she walks him to a room different from where he used to hang out with yoenbuk.

To a room where uncle Peter was waiting.

"hey kid." uncle Peter says as Elija sits down beside him. "I'm sorry for what happened to your friend. He was really such and amazing kid. I loved him so much........ But since I know you were close to him I wanted to make it up to him to somehow try to adopt you. so if you would really consider that I would appreciate it."

Elija felt wrong. This was where his friend should've been. Adopted by uncle Peter. And it felt like Elija was the one that killed him and is now taking his place. No, he couldn't do that. instead he says " why didn't you come early? " Elija said biting down on his lips hard so he wouldn't cry he ended up bleeding there.

"I'm sorry what?"

"why didn't you come early to save us, huh?" he said his voice sounding weird as he hasn't talked in a while. he gets up and starts crying. he shouts and sits down again in panic, hits his head on the table hard and starts talking again "IF you would've came earlier. None of this would've happened. and now you think I can replace him. be as good as him. I'm not yoenbuk. wake up old man. I'm not yoenbuk I'm Elija. nothing in us is similar like he said. I'm a fucking coward you see. so no, I can't take his place. Never." he said , leaving the man dumbfounded.

Of course uncle Peter being the man he is didn't give up. He stayed besides Elija at all times and even though Elija wouldn't admit it, he needed someone to talk to more than ever. And uncle Peter reminded Elija of him. Of yoenbuk.

The old man started stressing Elija out by always seeking him out. In summer while he was washing cars for people. In winter when he was cleaning the garbage when Elija would end up cutting the trash bag accidentally and start from the beginning refusing the help of the old man.

He always wondered how yoenbuk used to keep up with this man. "OK fine, fine, fine," Elija shouts all of a sudden. "ill let you adopt me for whatever reason you want. But I'll never call you dad. Its not my place to call you that anyway."

Uncle Peter just smiles warmly. " I knew you'd come along."

"I'm not done yet." Elija says. "I'll find myself a job. it has been three years since yoebuks death but he taught me how to do things well so I'll remember. and I don't celebrate my birthday so don't bother getting me a gift or a cake today It'll juat remind me of the day my parents abandoned me. and yeah thats it."

uncle peter then hugs Elija out of nowhere.

"I can't breathe sir. And I hate hugs." a suffocated Elija says.

"no, no, no, no sir doesn't suit me we need to find you a name you call me."

"how about Peter."

And just like that Elija had his second family. Right next to the one he lost, right next to yoenbuk.