CHAPTER 4

We are home finally and my twin siblings and mom are so heated up for us not going with them and my dad defends himself by saying it wasn't planned. At least we brought them something courtesy of Mr. cute guy. For the dessert, I ensure I keep it to myself. It was packed with some creamy doughnuts and these were amazing. Better than the ones Maritim gave me the other day. They are really sweet compared to those he gave me. I hadn't thought of him for at least three-quarters of the day but the doughnuts and desserts reminded me of him. I didn't want to miss my amazing day so I shower and rest a while before I go to bed. I am holding my phone looking at my pictures in that place and specifically the one we took with the cutie. I have never been this type to obsess over guys and I don't know what had got in me. I really hope I will get to being normal soon.

There was a fervent sun and I had been sleeping a lot nowadays. There wasn't much to do and at times it got boring. Going out to hang out with friends or even visit places was actually putting your life at risk since the virus was spreading quickly and even though they said the curve was reducing you just and to do the best to keep yourself safe. The whole day we play scrabble in turns with mom and dad. Alasdair and Elsa follow me to my room. The pandemic has pushed me away from my friends but it has brought me closer and closer to my family. We watch a movie and I tell them how Maritim didn't reply to my text after our make-out session. Alasdair is really heated up and asks what kind of a dude he is and I just sit there listening to them call him names and we later change the topic.

We have some puppies too and we go out of the house and play around as we wash them. Everyone is dripping water and it is just a matter of time before our mother comes to scold us. We never lack things to do or games to play. I wasn't wrong, mom came out of the house yelling. And we finish up and get into the house and change into other clothes. We go ahead and make some food. Alasdair just sits there giving us his endless stories. We prepare lunch for everyone and it takes us about two hours. I do enjoy cooking but I don't do it so frequently. We later have our lunch and carry on with the day.

I pick my phone to connect to music and I see a text and it's from Maritim. "Hey, I am sorry for the silent treatment. I can't use the excuse I was busy but honestly I was confused. I want to be close to you but then I am afraid of what damage it will cause me. I know I have been selfish and I do apologize. Love is a feeling you can't really control but it controls you. I don't want to be in control anymore. I want to be of use to you and your heart and be your muse. I really hope this finds you well and that you will please consider my apology. I want to make a better one and I am inviting you for a date. I really hope to hear from you and know if you accept to give me a chance to apologize in person."

I don't even know what to say to him. He made me feel so much of a fool and I don't have the energy or the mood to reply to it. I can't deny that I have ever felt that way confused since I know that we will part ways. But that doesn't mean I make someone hate themselves. I didn't have the best answer for him nor for myself so I will take my time as I also keep him waiting as he did to me. We can end our little thing going on and forget it since both of us are afraid of what will happen in a month's time. I will answer him when I have a good answer that puts my heart at peace. He just waited for me to develop feelings and for them to grow so that he would start being so bloody fucking. I am pissed off but my week has been going on so well and I don't want to mess it up. As the week comes to an end I go ahead and text him. I want to hear what he has to say and offer. We have a conversation and agree that we will go out on Saturday evening. This was somewhat a date and again a nerd like me has never been on a date with a guy and specifically a guy I like.

I had several beautiful dresses that I hated to wear since most of them just created some attention that I didn't like at all. I always kept the dresses since I knew and had high hopes that there would be a certain occasion I would get to wear them. It was hard to ask for permission at this time since my parents didn't want me out there exposed to the virus. Convincing them was a great hard task so this guy has to make it worth all this effort. I hope I won't get out of that place deserted with lingering regret. We were to have our lunch date at two and he would pick me up just like the prom night. I got ready but didn't do much of my makeup since I didn't want to go overboard since I was dubitable that it might go on well.

No matter all the doubts in my head I still went ahead and turned up. I am all ready and I pick my purse. I heard him hooting since we had agreed that we would meet at 11 o'clock. I think he might have arrived a bit earlier and just took his moment to maybe breathe and prepare a speech to clear out the air before we start driving off to the hotel of his choice. I get out of the house and he is standing just outside the car as he held a rose. I was already smiling aesthetically and the bit of anger I had left the better part of me.

As much he said that he isn't the type that dresses extravagantly I really thought he would maybe come with the same tuxedo. I know it isn't right that I thought so low of him. If anything he is actually that type but in denial since he might of me to be materialistic. "Hey pretty, you look stunning. He hands me my rose and I am already wearing a wider smile than the one I made when I saw him while walking out the door. He is in some casual wear and smelling great as usual and it gives me some joy and comfort around him. These silky shirts really make him look so elegant when I hug him I almost slide into his heart but his tight grip holds me so tightly.

"We are even matching." He said making me turn around since he was holding my arm and I was blushing and felt so silly. I had even forgotten I was in a grey dress and his shirt was grey too. He later opened my door and we drove off.

"At what age did you learn to drive since you drive so smoothly and I always feel safe?" I asked as I gave him the compliment and I hope he realized it was one.

He starts to slow down and tells me we are there. Well, there are beautiful places out here and I always hide in my room all the time. His romantic side is always awake and he opens the door for me. He puts his elbow for me to lock mine in his and we walk towards it. He says to me that it's a surprise for both of us since he has also never been there. I laugh and we see its entrance in glowing lights. These masks are boring and they are really making my gloss touch the masks and it is irritating. The virus has made us wear these masks for some time now and it is becoming a norm especially when in public. Our temperatures are tested and we are allowed in since we all have a normal temperature. Maritim ought to have done some research of the place since he says there was a more beautiful place towards the lounge and we walk up towards the first floor. And for sure it is beautiful just as the whole place but this is where I loved it more. We wouldn't start walking around looking for a better place since it would look absurd so we went ahead and sat at some table at the end of one corner. There weren't many people here only three tables were occupied and the ground had just two. Maritim did have money since he also baked cakes and I am sure in his deliveries they would always give him some tips. If he also got allowances from his parents then he might be the same as the rich kids in our class.

It was some classy place just from the cars parked outside and some other things in it. There was an iPad at the table and that's where we would view the menu and make the order. It was just another day to try something new. I ordered a BLT salad since I have never had it and some mocktail I didn't want to have any bit of alcohol today. And more so it was so early for me to start saying or doing silly things especially now that we are in public. Some appetizer was brought as we wait for our orders to come through. We started talking about our dreams and what we aspire to in life. The only thing that was in my head was just finishing my cardiology course and being able to live by myself independently. I don't do anything else except draw once in a while, read books, and study.

"So I believe you know my love for literature and that I have beaten you a couple of many times in our English exams. I do have a platform where I write blogs, poems, and just articles. I have been doing it since the virus came in and we closed schools. I wasn't so busy then and we weren't baking much. I still do write nowadays when I have something to write and the time. I would love you to go ahead and check the last blog that I wrote the other day." Said he as his hazel eyes stare at me.

I connected to the Wi-Fi and he gave the instructions on how to get it. 'Letter to my first Romance' the title itself lured me into reading it and automatically I knew that it was meant for me.

'Since I found you, it began.' Coincidentally music was put in our lounge and they started playing 'I found you by Jordan May' and there was air in here. Had he planned anything? Well, it seemed he was also surprised since he also started shaking his head and smiling because of the amusement.

'When love comes knocking at your door, you either let it in or let it go.

If you let it in you have to offer something.

You can't let it in and then let it go.

So easily.

I have tried and not only have I hurt myself but also my love.

I have been selfish and I regret it.

Every time I try to resist the love the more I get to receive it more.

Resisting is quite hard than I thought it to be.

She had made me so malleable.

I am willing to give her my heart and depend on her love to keep me alive.

It behooves me to love and do all my heart pleases me to do for her.

I am drowning in these waves and they have left me right outside her door.

So that I can apologize to her and tell her that I am ready to do some augmentation of love and anything else she might fancy from me.

I am ready for this excursion.

I want to be loved by you.

I am ready to carry your heart in mine.

If you let me.'

I am mesmerized and every word penetrated to each and every part of me. I am reading it beside him and I am sure he has captured the raw reaction as I read his letter. But I was still able to control some part of it. I had given him my love already if the small signs didn't give him the message. I had to give him my answer and I felt it to be a bit difficult. It would have been a lot easier if I just answered him via the phone but again I preferred to talk to him face to face. His blog had an alias name and that means not all of his followers and his audience knew that he was the owner. If there was even to be anyone who knew it was him was just me and maybe a friend or two. He had two close friends he always interacted with within the school. Our meal was ready and was brought to the table so I told him that I would answer him once we are done and he was totally fine with it.

Whoever was on the decks was just doing the best thing. He was playing my favorite songs and even though I didn't know some of them I got to like them. I even asked Maritim if he had given the DJ some specific songs to play and he said to me again that everything happening here is a surprise to all of us. He didn't know the place nor anyone from this place he just searched after his friends told him it is a great hotel. I love salads, this one that I tried today had a name that made it seem like it wouldn't be sweet but I still went ahead and ordered. It was clearly the opposite and actually the best salad amongst all that I have had.

Maritim ordered his fish and a steak served with some veggies and joked around about how he mightn't get satisfied and I just laughed. That explains to his well-built body that one would see his muscles sketching his shirts. His dark complexion went so much in line with that grey shirt and I know almost every color he chooses to wear does. I had a lot of time on the prom to stare at him and admire him but I got drunk and I slept a lot that night. I think I was the first to fall asleep. Anywho that is all in the past and I have enough time to even watch him chew his food and have the time to take my breaths beside him.

We finished our meal and I hoped this drink would fill up my stomach since I am now the one that turned out not to be satisfied and Maritim had finished his meal. I had several bites of his food too but the drink would make me full in no time. As we were taking our drinks Maritim paid the bill and received the message of confirmation and hence we were ready to leave at any moment. Some girl in a short dress and her make-up so out-standing came by our table carrying some tickets in her hands.

"Hey handsome", she said looking at Maritim so seductively and also moving so close to him. Spasms of anger and jealousy started rising and I just sat there not knowing what I could do.

"You are invited for a karaoke session that is on the fourth floor and you are lucky it isn't full yet. On top of that, there is a free ticket for you," she said handing Maritim the ticket.

"Free for all of us or what?" he asked her grimaced by her behavior. Obviously, she was older than him but she was trying to get him mannerlessly as if I am not even in the presence. She was just about to mess up my date and if Maritim isn't going to shut her off I will do so.

"This beautiful girl seated here is my date and if I go she goes if she doesn't, I won't go too. He said politely to her.

The lady is still there looking at him and I ask her if she hasn't heard a word from Maritim or what. She then goes ahead and says that one ticket has been given to the table for free the other we have to pay. That's just what she had to say from the word go.

"In cash or what account number am I sending to?" Maritim asks her as he speaks fast since he already noticed that this lady here will ruin our date and day. She goes ahead and reads the account number and I am really disgusted by her voice and presence. I carry my mocktail and Maritim takes his freak shake as we leave the table. She starts leading the way and Maritim tells her that we will find the way ourselves. We would rather get lost and ask someone else than her being around us for even a second. She is out of the way and I can now start breathing normally. Maritim looked like he might be a little older for his age which I don't even know. I know he isn't twenty yet but he does look like he is twenty or above by his body and also his beard that he had now maintained and has just been trimming a bit in this quarantine period. i am sure I wasn't yet at the age of being allowed into karaoke's that have adults dancing and taking alcohol but we have the tickets already. We have to maneuver our way into it. We use the lift since none of us wants to use up any energy and I holding his hand in a tighter grip as the other hand holds my drink. He kisses me as the lift goes up and I whisper to him that I would have done that if he hadn't. And we laugh as we go ahead and look for the karaoke room and some waitresses and waiters are looking at us. We hear the strumming sound of a guitar and we follow it as we hear a man's voice singing like Hozier and now there is a need to start walking fast.

Actually, there is no security at the door you just swipe the ticket so it scans then it lets you in. we get it and secure some seats although I know I will be up screaming and dancing the whole time. I already loved them even before I got in. the team was just a whole vibe. There were five people. One with an acoustic guitar, the other with an electric. Another at the drums and the other two just singing. A team of all five guys. They had angelic voices and they just sang marvelously. Maritim joined me and we danced and sang with our horrible voices enjoying our time. Minutes stretched and they were done. I really wanted them to keep singing and the crowd and majorly us kept insisting that they do an extra song until they had done around four more extra songs. They were going for another occasion in the evening and we just let them go. They had blessed our afternoon and we gladly appreciated them for it. We were just a crowd of around twenty people filled with enthusiasm.

It was time for me and Maritim to now start leaving and we decided to take a stroll around the place and plan the next time. The spa, sauna room, steam bath, and Jacuzzi were all in the same room. I am sure Maritim had spent a good amount of money today and I know he won't let me pay for us to have a sauna bath. So I will make the plan myself and invite him for a date that I fully take care of. We hang around outside at the park since no one wants to leave the other side and more so it was still early to go home. He now took me back to the story I promised to answer him. Each and every minute that passes by I get to get fond of him and reduce some shyness.

I go ahead and tell me how he hurt me by leaving me hanging especially after our first kiss and how I felt so bad. I love him and if I didn't love him I wouldn't be hurt by him doing so and in the first place, I wouldn't even text him. I also had forgiven him a bit for me to accept his date. I have really enjoyed the day and it's now time to go back home. It is fifteen minutes to six o'clock and we start our way back. He plays music and he is majorly a fan of 'Imagine dragons' and we sing along till we are at our gate. I kiss him and he holds my hand and gives it a kiss. He thanks me again for accepting to come and also for accepting his apology. I walk out and he waits till am at the door so that he can drive off.

When I walk in I find everyone in the living room waiting for me to come in. I say hi to them and walk towards my room but my mum stops me and asks me to wait. I wasn't late so I hope she isn't going to ruin my day by scolding me. She goes ahead and asks how my day was as she smiles so like everyone in the room. I reply saying it was fun without emphasizing since I am not ready to start giving detailed information. I tell them that I will be back once I have changed into pajamas.

I take a shower and change into a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Maritim had sent a text and said he was already home. He sent some sweet messages and I took my time replying to them and it was already an hour since I have been on my bed chatting with him. He wanted to facetime but I asked him to wait till I am done having dinner with my family. I go ahead and join my mother as she serves food at the dining table. She jokes around about how happy I am this week but she goes ahead and asks me to take care. She says these young boys are not as good as they may seem and instead of telling her that I see no harm in Maritim I just accept her advice and tell her that I will take care. I ask her about her relationships in school and she promises to give me the story the next day since it's already time to have dinner. I don't take for granted having a supportive family that I can share anything with them and they don't judge. And for the remaining days that I am here, I will ensure that I utilize it well and do the most to enjoy with them before I fly out. Well, now I am counting exactly 32 days left. It was just a year's time before my twin siblings get to go to university too. I want to be a good role model to them in everything. Their sixteenth birthday is actually two days before I go and I am so glad I won't miss it. I have to start figuring out gifts to get them this early now. We get to have dinner and later watch a family show and laugh at both mom's and dad's jokes. I am already exhausted and I remember I have a facetime with Maritim. One by one we all leave and I am not in such a hurry to leave. My dad is mostly the last to leave and when we are left with him, he starts to tell me how the days are moving so fast. How his first daughter will leave him and he has never been away from her. I fell my tears in my eyes and his words make me start crying. He hugs me and tells me to always keep in touch so that he can know about my wellbeing. He is already hugging me and I wonder what it will feel like when it's just one day left. He tells me it will be okay and I go ahead and I stop crying and he escorts me to my room before he closes all the doors and switches off the lights of the house.

I get to my room and I get to facetime Maritim. It's like he was just sitting there waiting for me to call. We start our stories and I tell him to make so many jokes since I might wake people up in our house. It's almost midnight and he offers to give me a bedtime story. I don't even remember when I fell asleep but I know it was just a few minutes into his bedtime story. He must have ended the call since I dozed off too early.