Chapter Three
It's Hard For Me
"Good Morning guys and girls lets get started on today's lesson. Now! Who would like to come up and sing first?" Mr Schu asked
"I will Mr Schu" said Rachel she walked up to the piano and said "Ready" to the pianist, but when she opened her mouth to sing nothing came out. Sue Sylvester came in right at that point and smirked "Ha! Knew you couldn't sing you can't even let out one note don't even think about starting on me Santana. You homosexual fraud who has a dunce for a friend and that's you Brittany, who's also dating a cripple on wheels you lot make me sick to my stomach".
"Sue as a teacher you have no right to say that to the kids" said Will getting very pissed off "I'm telling you to get out NOW!"
"Schuester, I'm not even going to tell you how much I hate you. You make me want to say words that have not been formed yet to convey that, you make me sick and your hair still looks awful I feel like pulling my eyes out so I don't have to look at it" Sue said with her usual smug look.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Rachel, Santana and Brittany woke up with a start and sighed with relief that it was only a really bad dream, but for Santana it was almost like a reality check and considered going to the one person she knew who has been through it all. After changing checked herself in the mirror once she was satisfied she made her way to 'Dalton Academy' to talk to Kurt.
Santana – I know you love me
Brittany – I understand…You will always be…
the first I turn to…For the bad times
Santana – Oh…I love you…Oh Yeah
S&B – I do love you…
When she went in she was prepared and in-control of her feelings she had decided not to be flirtatious with any of them, but she wasn't prepared when she realised that she had no attraction to any of the boys she saw. All she managed was a small smile and a 'Hi' to a few of them two boys came up to her and said "You look a little lost, are you looking for someone?"
"Erm…Yeah you can say that" said Santana slightly laughing "I'm actually looking for a friend, his name is Kurt"
"Oh Kurt, erm…You most likely find him in the choir room with Blaine we are having our practise there so they should be there already" said one of the Warbler member.
"This school is fairly big so we will take you there" said the other Warbler member
"Oh don't worry, you can just tell me cause I don't want to get you two in trouble" said Santana
"Oh it's not a problem, we are heading that way anyway for rehearsals remember" said the first guy
"Are you in the Glee club for this school too" Santana asked
"Yes we are Kurt has a really great voice" said the first guy "Speaking of which how you know Kurt?"
"Kurt used to go to McKinley High school with me…" "Ah…I remember Kurt mentioning that, he got bullied for being Gay by a Jock right?"
"Yeah! He did and we miss him, I just came to see him and ask for his help" Santana said
"That's ok you don't have to tell us, we do not judge people here" said the second guy" We treat everyone as equals and with respect and a strict 'No Bullying' policy is enforced here" he finished off
"I remember Kurt saying that when he left"
By the time they reached the choir room there were faint signs of music and the two boys pushed the doors open and introduced Santana to the group. Kurt was sat next to Blaine on the sofa to say he was a little surprised would of been an understatement.
As soon as Santana entered the room Kurt smiled and stood up and walked to her and they gave each other a friendly hug, "Santana what brings you here" said Kurt
"I need your help with something its rather 'personal'" she mouthed the last word" Santana said quietly "In private if possible" she added
"Yeah sure" said Kurt "but just hold a moment need to tell the guys" Kurt went back inside and said "I need to be excused from the rehearsals guys my friend needs my help and I will make up for the lost time" looking at Blaine. He turned around and closed the door behind him and walked towards a vacant room with Santana following closely behind. They entered the room and sat down, Kurt finally letting the curiosity get the better of him asked "What's wrong this isn't the Santana I knew"
"I know but a lot has changed since you left and I didn't know who to talk to or how to say it and I immediately thought of you Kurt" Santana said "I'm just going to say it…"
"Say what Santana" Kurt cut her off
"I'm…I'm…Gay, Kurt" said Santana stutteringly
Kurt stared at Santana for a while a bit shocked at the news she just told him as he was not expecting her to say that, but eventually he smiled as he was happy she had told him.
"I'm happy for you" Kurt said "Have you told anyone else besides me?" he added
"I sort of told Brittany but no one else"
"Ok that's good, So do you need help with confidence and coming out?" Kurt asked kindly without upsetting her.
"Yeah I kind of do, it's just all those times when you were at McKinley came flooding back in and then I had a nightmare that Sue called me a 'homosexual fraud' and that's pretty much when I woke up" said a tearful Santana.
"Ok, in that case" Kurt started off "To be yourself is to tell your friends which would be everyone in Glee. You told Brittany, how about Quinn hasn't she been your friend the longest?" Kurt asked being as supportive and helpful as he could.
"For me Mercedes was the first person I told and she was really supportive of me and she gave me that boost of confidence that I needed." Said Kurt continually
"Thanks Kurt I really appreciate that and it looks like you are fitting in great here. Are you and Blaine an item now? Santana asked
"Yes I think we are, well we are getting that way slowly" Kurt said happily
"Come on do you want to hear what we have got?"said Kurt trying his best to cheer her up at the same time, but then he stopped and realised Santana was still sat down when he turned around and saw her face he hastened towards her and comforted her then said "What else is bothering you Santana, I can see something is, I should know cause I've been there" Kurt said trying to be reassuring.
"There is something else you are right" Santana started to say and continued on "But she loves someone else and we kinda fallen out because of it"
"That's ok I know the feeling" Kurt said holding Santana's hand "Can I just ask who she is?"
Santana looked down for a while then looked up and said "It's Brittany" more tears flowed down her cheeks.
"That's the only thing you can't choose who you truly love, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be and there is no certain way of telling people that you are Gay, you just have to go with it and take their opinions and reactions as it comes and that way you can truly move forward" Kurt said sympathetically.
"But you didn't act as well as you could have done Karoftsky was just one jock who bullied you and we were right behind you all the way especially the guys" said Santana almost sounding like herself again.
"I know, I just couldn't take any more of it I just wanted to move on with my life without the constant looking over my shoulder all the time, but I am grateful for what the guys have done for me and I love it here now it feels like home to me" Kurt replied truthfully.
After a few moments sitting together in silence Kurt eventually broke the silence and said "Right…It has been great to talk and have this moment with you, would you like to cheer yourself up and sing a duet with me Santana? He asked slightly enthusiastic.
Santana looked up at Kurt who was standing up at the time ready to go and she nodded smiling agreeing to do a duet with him, so they walked back to the choir room only to find Blaine in there waiting for Kurt on the sofa.
"Hi Blaine, I'm sorry I missed the rehearsals, I will work twice as hard next time, but right now Santana and I are going to do a duet together is that ok?" Kurt said apologetically.
"Oh that's ok and its fine I understand" Blaine said forgivingly.
Then Kurt and Blaine kissed for a bit.
The music started playing as Santana and Kurt took their positions.
You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it's okay (yeah it's okay)
And the moments when my good times start to fade
Santana then took hold of Kurt's hands whilst singing the chorus feeling the bond of friendship flow through them like they have been friends from the beginning.
You make me smile like the sun
Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on the Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you
Can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
just like a flower
Poking through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain
And just like that
You make me smile like the sun
Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on the Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you
Can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
'Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
Kurt then motioned for Blaine to join in for the last part of the song right through to the end.
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you
Can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Fall outta bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on the Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you
Can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)