Chapter 99

"I lived over thousands of years," Toren thought, looking up at the dim night sky. "But it felt like it was all a waste. Someone else could live for only less than a hundred years and have a more meaningful life."

Maybe time isn't such a great thing, after all.

Those were his thoughts, but no words spelled out in his consciousness. He felt quite bitter, though.

While some envied those who lived for a long time, wasting it felt more miserable than living a short, meaningful one.

Why would anyone want to prolong their life in this hurtful world, anyway? And as he drifted towards a hypnagogic state and underneath the world away from reality, he had returned to the arms of a beautiful devil.

Toren laid down on the lily flower beds unconsciously.

The lights were set off dimmed and calming to soften his sleep while the waves of petals caressed his skin smoothly. The world was silent and tranquil.

And it was such a shame that Toren was not aware what bliss he had come to.

Soon, a melodic sound woke him up.

He rose amidst the cold air, soothing his twirling sight. When he looked back, Airen was sitting before him, putting out her angelic smile.

"I have missed you," She said. "I was patiently waiting for your return. Since you have learnt to control your consciousness, you have put up a wall in your spirit to reject my powers."

Toren stared down. "I am sorry. Were you offended with that?"

"No, not at all! Worry not, my dear Toren. You have not lost the love that I always had for you."

Trails of silence ensued afterwards. The flowerbeds swayed softly and endearingly, as if gently groping at the boy's thoughts.

It felt like they were telling each other, "Be careful not to anger his mind. His thoughts are already swirling in mayhem until now. It would be best to be gentle and careful."

Airen's smallest movements made an uncomfortable sound of a tiny rustle from below.

She attempted to stare at the boy's face, calm yet rattled with some metaphysical riots and dissected what might be burbling and clashing inside of him. "You look extremely troubled," Airen tried to sound as pretty and cherubic as possible. "Is there something wrong?"

Toren did not respond for a whole minute and the world felt like it was frozen. "I want to die," He said.

"I... want to end the pleasures and just die. I am not sure what I was so desperate for, but it is all beginning to feel pointless. I just want to let go of everything latched in me. They are becoming heavier and heavier, I cannot move forward. I don't even know what all these things are for. This turned out scarier than whatever I was eluding from. I want to die already. I just want to die. I want to disappear. Nothing matters now. I do not want to have anything to do with life anymore. I want to die."

A warm tear fell out of Toren's eyes, then another one.

And soon, his eyes were flooded with warm tears disgorging out after being repressed for so long.

His heart was tugged out with aches and thorns and other incomprehensible things. They were all coming out from some century-long emotions.

He sobbed and wailed like a little child seeking for some meaning and home back at the heavens.

And no one was responding.