nine

"I can sleep on the plane."

That's what he said to me as we spent the entire night wrapped in each other. No pictures were taken, but there was absolutely no way I was forgetting the things he did to me.

I only got about two hours of sleep all together, but I was okay with that. I couldn't keep my hands off of him. He couldn't keep his hands off of me, and my body is still sore from working out all night long. But it was great, as I stretched, feeling just how sore I was, remembering everything that happened. I lay comfortably in the bed's warmth his body left behind, trying not to miss him after he's been gone for only thirty minutes.

As I'm getting ready to go back to sleep, the phone rings. I jump out of bed, rushing to the phone and answering it before looking.

"Jagiya (Baby)," I breathe.

"What does that mean?"

I freeze, not expecting to hear that voice at all. I had been ignoring everything from him. Blocking him on multiple social media accounts and screening his calls.

"You weren't expecting it to be me, right? You've been ignoring my calls," He says, "I had to call from this number."

I wouldn't know that he used a different phone to call me. I didn't even check to see who it was, thinking it was Kai.

"What do you want, Nicky?" I ask.

"To talk."

"We have nothing to talk about," I say, "The last time we 'talked', everything that needed to be said, was said."

"I want you back." He says it quickly, like he needed to get it out.

"Never going to happen."

"Why? Because of that KPop star? Come on, Baby. We both know that isn't real," He chuckles.

"No, it will never happen because you cheated on me, and laughed in my face about it. This has nothing to do with Kai," I say getting ready to hang up.

The phone is away from my ear and I'm getting ready to disconnect the call and I can hear him loud and clear as he yells.

"This has everything to do with that June asshole. Because of him, what's mine was blasted all over the internet! You embarrassed me—"

"Nah homie. You got the wrong one today," I say into the phone, not bothering to put it to my ear. "What's not going to happen, is you calling me this early in the morning. You know I'm not a morning person, but you call anyway because it's easier for you to manipulate me when I'm tired. But that stops now. You are not going to gaslight me any longer. I am not yours. I don't belong to anyone. Wait… let me take a few seconds to locate the fucks I give about you being embarrassed… nope, can't find them. I'm not going to let you play the victim for something that you have no business in. And let's make this clear, even if I ignored how much of a dick you are, I'm not going to ignore the fact that you could never make me cum with your tiny dick. And Kai showed me all last night that I can cum just fine."

I hang up the phone, not letting him saying anything else. I know he's mad, but that has nothing to do with me anymore. I didn't lie at all, and it felt good to get that off my chest.

I go back into bed and curl down into the covers, smiling at how proud I am at myself, and thinking about how I'm going to Korea to see Kai soon.

I get a text on my phone and I look at it, knowing instantly it's from Nicky.

Don't think for one second that you're more than publicity to him

Attached were pictures that I knew would be in the media. One of us sitting side by side at the book signing, one of me hugging him when I first saw him, and one of me smiling back at him as we rushed through the paparazzi and fans.

The last picture though caught me off guard. It's a picture of Kai leaning over the table at the restaurant to kiss me, and us smiling at each other.

There were no fans there. No one knew we were there, so how are there pictures of us. I know SM was taking their own pictures to post, but would they take this private moment? Was it a private moment, or was just Kai doing what they told him to? Kai had to have permission to come here in the middle of his schedule.

My mind ran amuck and my thoughts took a turn for the worst. I down spiraled into doubting Kai just like Nicky wanted me too.

The phone rings and I look at it this time. It's Kai.

"Yoboseyo (Hello)? na jigeum gonghange isso no ajiktto chimdaee inniyo (I'm at the airport now. Air you still in bed)?" He says as soon as I pick up.

"Did you know they would take pictures of us at the restaurant? Was this planned out and everyone knew—"

"Mwo (what)?"

"—but for me. I can't believe that. That you would do that. Is this all some publicity stunt? Because I started to like you. Do you even like me, or is this just to pass the time for you? You know, I've never asked before, but how many girls have you done this with? One-night stands and taking pictures? And don't just give me what was told to my parents."

"ihaega an dwaeyo (I don't understand)."

"Araso (I know). Just… enjoy your flight. I'm going to back to sleep."

I pull up the text that Nicky sent me and send one back.

I'd take publicity with him over anything with you.

I turn off the phone so I get no more calls. I snuggle down in the cover, smelling Kai all over the sheets, and feel guilty as fussing him out, especially because he couldn't understand most of it. I want to turn on my phone and call him back, but I'm so exhausted that I fall asleep.

↞⇠⇠⇠⇢⇢⇢↠

I wake up to knocking at the door. Still half asleep, I look down to make sure that I have clothes on and then get up to answer the door. I rub my eyes, trying to shake the sleep off, all the while the knocks on the door never stop.

"Okay, Okay! I'm coming!"

I swing the door open, a little upset at being woken up, and then freeze.

"Kai?"

He strides into the room, his face is clouded and his eyes dark. I back up as he comes forward. He slams the door and grabs on to me. He pulls me closer and I lose control of my feet as I stumble to him.

Without a pause, he lifts me up and bounces until he's holding me up with his hands gripping my ass. On instinct, I wrap my arms around his shoulder and my legs around his waist. I'm slammed against the wall, and I can hear the gasp that comes out of me.

His mouth crashes onto mine and I hold him tighter, giving him exactly what he's giving me. His body presses into me and he continues to kiss me.

I moan, my mouth opening and his tongue gently grazing my top lip.

He stops kissing me and slowly my body slides down him until my feet touch the floor. My legs are so weak that I would have fallen if he wasn't holding me up with his body pressed against mine.

"naega ihaehal su opttaneun gol almyonsodo geuroke jonhwareul batkkoneun jonhwareul kkeunneun goya? Ije dangsineun nae jonhwareul batjji aneul gosida. Naega olmana gokjjonghaenneunji ara? Naega olmana hwaga nasseulkka? Geurigo naega hago sipottton goseun dorawaso dodouk dangsinege kiseuhago sipeun got ppuniottta. Ojetppam naega nohante han jit ttaemune. Intoneseso sajineul bwanneunde... sikttange inneun uri jung han myong. Geuraeso hwanan goya? Ottoke nawanneunji moreugenneunde, ama gogi jigwondeuril goya. Uriga araso hago inneunde, geuroke an joeun goya? ije naega nol olmana saranghaneunji sesangi al su isso."

I have no idea what he said to me. Much like he couldn't understand me when I was fussing him out. I looked at his face: his eyes, his lips, his eyebrows. I needed to see the emotion on his face, to see how he felt. Was he angry at me, and yet still kissed me like that?

"I don't know what you said," I say still looking at his face, "Are you mad at me?"

Who knows how long it's been since I answered his phone call, but I was mad at him, and now that he's in front of me and mad at me, I didn't like it.

"Aniyo (No)."

He takes out the phone and pulls up the translation app.

"Why are you mad?" He asks me.

"Did SM take those pictures at the restaurant?"

"What? No."

"Mian (sorry)," I say looking at him, "I don't… I don't want to just be a publicity stunt to you. I don't want to just be sex."

He sighs and grabs my hand, pulling me to the bed. He sits me down there and squats in front of me. He places both hands on my knees.

"Come back with me to Korea," his phone translates. "No one has to know you came, and we can spend a lot of time together. No publicity, no cameras, no questions from anyone outside. I promise. Please?"

That please makes my heart skip a beat, and I want to say yes. But I can't.

"I have things to wrap up here, I can't just bail on those. Oh, my God! You have a schedule. You're supposed to be on the plane by now. You will get in so much trouble."

"I don't care," he says.

"I don't want to get in trouble because of me."

He sighs and sits on his butt on the floor, wrapping his hands around my calves and massaging them.

"We both have careers," I say to him, "and we have responsibilities that we have to take care of. So… you need to schedule a new flight, and I need to take my flight back to Louisiana to finish wrapping up the book tour. A lot of paperwork. But when July comes, I'll be back in Korea. I'll come to you for an entire month before school starts. Can you wait till then?"

"Ne," he smiles.

He ended up booking a flight around the same time that my flight was, so we were both at the airport at the same time. The media went crazy. Both fans and paparazzi took pictures of us sitting together as we waited for our flights.

I couldn't help but touch him. It was like if I let go of him, he'd be gone in a puff of smoke. So when his hands were free, I'd hold them. When he needed to let go of me, I'd hold on to his neck or put my hand on his leg, or rest my head on his shoulder.

Before my plane even taxied, there were articles about how Kai abandoned his flight to spend more time with me, possibly messing up his promotion schedule. The comments weren't nice towards me. There were even pictures of Kai on the phone looking confused and then him running back out of the airport.

I'm sure we'd both be hearing an earful from SM's CEO.