Anneliese's Room 2

Chapter 10

I hugged him and cry in his wrapped arms. Why I'm getting emotional every time I realised how he love me from the start. It's suffocating to think that he's been hurt and been waiting for me.

"I can't help it, Hanz."

"My love, Anneliese. I'm sorry if I let you become like this. I shouldn't ask you to marry me."

"Don't be sorry please. You are making it worse." I said while we still hug each other.

Hanz and I were not stranger type in the house. We share feelings. He express his love and I express mine as a woman not his wife. We argue, bicker and mocking each other all the time but his love for me is immeasurable. For two years and months of marriage I never saw him cry, he laugh and smile to me but why do I feel like his hurt all the time? His hurt but keep it low key.

I am selfish because never once I ask him what he likes, what he want or even I try my best to get to know him. He's been the person always trying. He wanted to publicity our marriage but I told him not to. He agreed and I don't think if his family knows this issue about us if the public know that I'm married to him.

I cry and cry to his shoulders. I'm very guilty, I want to divorce him. I can't pretend anymore. I'm being selfish because of my ambition that I married him. Hanz Swyne Andrews you don't deserve a woman like me. A user and selfish.

"Hanz, babe." I spoke after calming myself from crying. He just tap my back softly.

"Hmmm?"

"Let's.. let's get divorce." He stop tapping my back after hearing my words, guess he was shock. After seconds he hug me tightly. I can feel that he didn't like the words came out to my mouth but this is the right thing to do. I took the courage to say this.

"No, no, no. Please." He said weakly.

"Come on, Hanz. This is for our own good."

"No, Anneliese. No. I can't." He didn't let me go and just hug me. He's voice crack and he let out a deep breathe. His catching his breathe.

"Hanzal, please. You're making it hard for me."

"You're making it hard for me, too." His voice raise a little but it's sad and painful tone.

"Hanz, I can't give my heart to you so please--" He didn't let me finish again. He really loves cut off of what I'm saying.

"No. I said no. You go to the kitchen, you eat your lunch. Accompany mom and dad. Let's talk later." He change the subject and let go of me. I try to catch his eyes but he didn't let me. He let himself lie in the bed and close his eyes without looking at me. I shooked my head in disbelief and went downstairs.

Mom and dad are talking to Manang Terra right now. They are talking about Manang Terra's life and her family. I think they're done eating.

"I guess, you miss chatting Manang Terra mom. You're so happy talking to her." I said while entering the kitchen and sit.

Mom, stares me for a seconds. Maybe she notice my eyes. It's red because I cry awhile ago but she didn't ask and look away.

"Oh, Iha. You eat now. The food is getting cold." Manang Terra said. I smile at her and start digging the foods.

"How's Hanz?" Dad ask. I lift my head to see dad and answer him.

"He's okay, dad. He's now sleeping." I said. He nod and peel the banana.

"Uhm, Dad. When will be the flight to boracay? Forgot to ask."

"Oh, next week. Wednesday." He said.

"Thank you dad. We still have time. I want hanz to be okay before the flight so that he can enjoy the trip." I said. I saw mom let a wide grin in my peripheral view.

"Thank you for taking care Hanz, Anne." Dad said thankfully. I give him a thumbs up and continue my eating.

After awhile, mom and dad leave the house without saying goodbye to hanz. They said, they won't wake up hanz so that he can rest.

"Good bye, mom and dad"

"Bye, darling." Mom said and hug me. I hugged her back.

"Wish both you will enjoy the trip."She continue and spare me first.

" Don't worry, mom. We will. " I give her assurance. She smile and tap my back softly and then enter the car. Dad is already in the car starting the engine.

" Bye, dad. "He beep his car for response and they went away.

I went straight to the kitchen to help Manang Terra but she didn't let me. She ask me to take care hanz first.  Because I can't argue, I went straight to my room and found hanz sleeping peacefully. I stare at him because of his angelic face. Never I imagine that again, he will sleep in my room. He's alluring lips is inviting. Uhm seeing him like this will always trigger my guilt and so I decided to take a bath for me to lost my wonder mind.

As I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth I can't help but glance his toothbrush. Hanz, is not into colorful things. He likes black and white even his toothbrush is color black. I just noticed.

I continue my daily bathroom routine and was finish after thirty minutes. I wrapped my towel in my body and get out to my bathroom. I forgot to bring clothes in the shower. Walking silently so that hanz won't wake up I get underwear and bra to my drawer and after pajama in my closet.

Hanz is still asleep. So I decided to arrange some of my things, especially his things. I was not able to arrange it perfectly because I was hurry afraid that hanz parents caught us. I move my clothes to the left side and hang some of hanz white shirts using hanger. He likes v-neck shirt. I also arrange his things about school. His books from engineering, since it pique my curiosity I started scanning the books and reading it. But.. I didn't understand anything. Not what I interest. Scanning his notebook make me realised how net his hand writing. So clean that I wonder if it was a woman hand writing.

I clean my room, wipe the dusk and all after that I went to the kitchen to get cold water in pitcher. Manang Terra was not there anymore maybe she went home now. She sometimes leave without telling us, she read the atmosphere of hand and me and maybe she think it's not needed cause she thought I'm busy. I gulp the water I get and accidentally glance the clock in the kitchen. It's already three pm. It's noon but I didn't noticed. I prepare the food for hanz and went to my room.

Hanz is awake and was standing and looking at th window. He didn't notice me entering the room I think he is occupied of something. I let out a fake coughed and that's the time he notice me.

"Hey, is mom and dad still here?" He spoke first and asked me. I shake my head to answer his question.

"Oh, so they already live." I nodded. I'm tired talking right now.

"Okay," I put the food in my side table. The silence remain for five seconds before he speak again.

"So, I guess, I need to transfer in my room now." He said. I nodded again. He look at me and give me a warm smile.

"Okay." He was about to walk away but I stop him holding his right hand. He give me a confused looked.

"Uhmm you can stay here. You're still sick."

"You sure about that?"

"I won't ask if I'm not."

"Don't be angry, Anneliese. I'm just making sure if it's okay with you." He said.

"I'm good." I said without looking at him. He hug me tightly and hugged him back. We hug without talking each other. After a minute he spoke.

"I'm still sick. I want to sleep." I let go the hug and told him to rest. I helped him fix the pillow and his blanket.

"Anneliese?"

"Hmmm"

"Sleep with me."

"Of course, we share the bed."

"With me, Anneliese-- within my arms."

"What do I get after sleeping with you?" I tease him about a deal.

"Wait, lemme think." I smile at him and nodded in agreement. Seconds later he think a deal.

"So what's the deal?" I ask him.

"I cook you delicious food and then buy you anything you want." He said confidently.

"Hmm not convincing.." I still teased him. Actually, I don't need anything. I just want to ease the atmosphere we have. Awkward. It's not our first time sleeping together but it's been awhile. I think the last time we slept together is last year September.

"Hmmm.. I can't think of any right now. Any suggestions?"

"How about drive me to school everyday?" Oh shit. I messed up. That's not I'm going to say but I said it.

"No-- I mean.. Damn, how can I--" I panic now because of my actions. What gotten to my brain and mouth saying those words.

"Sure, my pleasure." He said and give me a big smile.

Shit, things getting worse.