Chapter 3

Nessuno

The worst thing that could happen to a woman like me was hope. Hope meant disappointment. Hope meant defeat, a drawback. A descent to the deepest pits of hell. I learned long ago to never harbor any kind of hope when it came to my life. To never wish for anything more. But there was always that time within a dream, the time when reality clawed its way into your mind, ready to rip you away from the fantasy your unconscious psyche created for you. And it was only during this time when all my defenses were down.

No compartmentalizing.No secret compartments pushed to the back of my mind.

No turning off my humanity.

There was no controlling anything during those moments of complete vulnerability…and that was where I was now. In that moment. In that vortex of color which would soon suck me back into the dark hole I'd come to call my existence.

I heard the soft sound of movement. Felt a subtle touch against my face. It burned. Every touch, every contact seared my skin, no matter who it was.My body felt like lead, my heartbeat echoing with a pained rhythm inside my head.

Disappointment. It was always there whenever reality seeped through, proving I was still alive.

"She's waking up."

"Is she okay?"

Unfamiliar voices were never a good sign…for me.

"Back up a little. Give her some room."

I wanted to keep my eyes closed. I wanted to pretend like I was dead, as if I had no pulse. No life. But I knew it would only postpone the inevitable. And the sooner I walked through the hell which lay ahead of me, the sooner I could get through it. But something was different. The dull ache which seemed to always pound against my skull—it wasn't there. And the weak, nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach was gone. My mouth didn't feel dry, like sandpaper, and my body felt…different.

Immediately, warning scratched at the back of my head. Different meant bad things. Different was never good.Reluctantly, I let my eyes flutter open. It took a few seconds for the light to seep through the darkness.

"Don't be afraid. I'm a doctor and I'm here to help you."

Don't be afraid. Three words I'd heard so many times, and it always meant just the opposite.

"I am Dr. Ramirez and you don't have to be afraid."

There it was again. Another attempt at reassurance, which in the end would be nothing but empty words.My gaze drifted upward to the man behind the voice, and I caught sight of another man standing to the right. It was the same man who found me first. But where was he? The man I recognized as my next master. He was here, in this room. I could feel him. His presence. His darkness. He was close by, judging by the way my skin crawled and how my insides felt all twisted together. Men like him demanded everything, your body, your mind…your senses. He hadn't taken claim of my body yet, but his mere presence had already claimed my mind and demanded my senses. Soon, he would take my body as well.

"How are you feeling?" For a second, I glanced back to the man with the stethoscope around his neck, but I diverted my gaze straight ahead, right at the pale blue wall right in front of me. Silent. Confused. Afraid.

"What is your name?"

My name? Someone like me didn't have the privilege of having her own name. I was nobody. I was nothing. I continued to look at the wall.

"You were severely dehydrated when we found you, which is why you're currently hooked to an IV. Can you tell us where you're from?"

I can't tell you anything. I don't belong to you.

Just by glancing at them, I knew they weren't a part of my world. Their eyes were void of darkness and cruelty, lacking the power and authority I had been forced to live with almost my entire life.

The man claiming to be the doctor leaned down, placing his hand on my forehead. I jerked back and snarled, fear bolting through every muscle in my body.

Immediately, he retreated. "You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you."

Words. That was all they were. Empty, hollow, worthless words.

My gaze returned to the pale blue wall. There was nothing but ice coursing through my veins, yet my skin felt damp. He was here. Somewhere.

"Do you have any pain?"

Just more words I'd heard before. And no matter the answer, the consequences were never good for me. If I had answered yes, I would have been scolded and punished for being weak and ungrateful. If I had answered no, I would have been given a reason to answer yes. I was screwed either way, which was why I chose silence.

"Maybe she doesn't understand English." The voice of the other man was harder, firmer, than the so-called doctor's. "Maybe she's Italian." From the corner of my eye, I noticed him stepping forward. "Come ti chiami?" What is your name?

Yes, I understood Italian. I also understood a little Russian. And I definitely understood English.

I kept staring at the wall.

"Nope. Doesn't seem like she understands Italian either." He stepped back while the doctor remained still.

I continued to lie still. Quietly waiting.

The doctor remained by my side. "Maybe we should—"

"What is your name?"

Instantly every hair on my body stood on end, and I closed my eyes as I let out a steady breath. It was him. The devil I had felt in this room all along.

The ice which coursed through my veins ceased, fear clawing its grip through every bone. This time I had no choice. He demanded it. His voice demanded it.

I sat up, turning my head in the direction his voice came from, but I didn't look up. I didn't dare.

"I asked, what is your name?"

I swallowed hard. "Nessuno." My voice was almost inaudible.

"Look at me."

Shivers spread throughout my body. His voice alone evoked fear and panic which stemmed from the deepest parts of my soul. No one else would have been able to hear it. But I did. I knew the sound of pure authority and raw power.

Slowly, I turned my head in his direction.

"Look at me," he demanded, and I forced my gaze up to meet his.

His eyes were dark, hard, merciless orbs which conveyed one clear message. Dominance.

My body shuddered, and I had to fight the urge to look away.

His dark brows furrowed. "Nessuno. That means nobody in Italian."

It wasn't a question, so I didn't attempt to answer in any way.

"What is your real name?"

I bit my bottom lip. "That is…my name is Nessuno."

His eyes remained fixed on mine and I wanted to squirm away from his scrutinizing gaze.

Broad shoulders. Ink black hair. And a presence strong enough to be felt through marrow and bone. He was the one. I felt it, the same way I always had whenever the time had come…the time for me to obey a new master.