7: The Nightmare [Aya]

Sleep didn’t come easy.

It hasn’t for the past three years, almost four. I’ve barely gone through a night where I wouldn’t be awoken either due to a nightmare or demonic interference. At first, it worried me. It’d bothered me, perhaps, more than I was willing to admit. But like with everything else, a great example here would be having to share part of my mind with a high-class Demon who’s more annoying than a younger sibling, I got used to it.

Fuwa would often nag for me to get more sleep, that the sleeping bags under my eyes were annoying and a sign of weakness. I’d respond with a dry smile, a middle finger, and a colorful curse, telling him to screw off or I could give him a taste of what I experience daily. It’d do the trick.

As I’d suspected, Fuwa was still asleep when I returned to the headquarters and Seiren wasn’t in either. Which was why I’d taken the liberty of crashing into my best friend’s bed, despite the rising sun attempting to keep me awake and the street starting to fill with various noises. Faustus was right, I should’ve ignored the summoning and chosen sleep over dealing with Warden.

Even if it would’ve meant dealing with annoyed Fuwa later on.

By the time my mind drifted to the dream world, the sun had enlightened Seiren’s room and I could hear some movement in the kitchen, meaning Fuwa was awake. I curled deeper into the warm blanket, inhaling Seiren’s familiar calming scent, and tried to empty my mind.

Tried being the keyword.

And there it was: the same dream, which has been haunting me since my return from Hell. It was the reason behind my lack of sleep, why I didn’t dare to close my eyes, and why I kept running from facing the cold hard truths. It always started out the same, until it got to the middle of it - that’s when things changed into something that made me feel like someone was molding the dream into what they wanted and not what I needed.

Twisting and turning, until they successfully drove me mad, and I had a good feeling as to who the culprit was.

Faustus.

My Contract with the Demon Lord was an act of the highest form of treason, a taboo, but it had been a necessity for me. Our Contract allowed Faustus partial residence in my mind, subconscious, to communicate with me, and if necessary, to lend me his powers. The cross pendant I wore was a symbol of the Contract, it held Faustus’ Mana within it, allowing him to know what was going on.

I wore the pendant to remind myself of what I’ve done - what I’ve promised to the Demon Lord…to one of the Seven Demon Princes - in exchange for allowing me to escape Hell with a single goal in mind. Revenge.

At first, when the nightmares started I’d replied on the Dreamless Spells but just like with everything else, they stopped working once I overused them. I’d gotten too accustomed to it, and Faustus had a hand in it too. By negating anything that could relieve me of the consequences of escaping Hell, engraving it into my mind that this was my punishment.

An unforgiving, cold and cruel punishment.

I could easily give in to Faustus’ torments, however, my stubborn side refused to give up before I’d reached my goals before I’d done what I set out and promised to Soo-Won.

In the dream, my body was thrown through Hell Fire that burned hotter and brighter than any other flame I’ve ever seen, appearing to be both blue and red, and something more. The colors danced within the flames as if they were alive, and I belatedly realized that I couldn’t tear my eyes off of the way how they were fighting for dominance to settle the score for once and all.

As I fell, the flames left a permanent mark on my body, causing me to let out the most horrific scream I’ve ever heard, scars that covered most of my left shoulder area and half of my back. They were a reminder to never forget, to never forgive, and to never trust another without a doubt, ever again.

My throat burned from both the fire and smoke, tearing inside with vengeful force. My body refused to move until it was dropped, mercilessly, on the ground. Pain jolted through my existence, stretching and pulling me as if it wanted to do nothing more than tear me apart.

There was a smell of skin melting, burning, melting, burning…My body was convulsed from shock, fear, and pain. Any sound I made was drowned out by the deafeningly loud screams and moans within Hell. I was terrified to the core of my being.

That’s when the dream would fade into something else, a mix of small bits of truths and lies, and twisted desires. His masterpiece, as Faustus would say, wearing a proud smirk. Looking the least bit bothered about what his tricks did to my mind, to my Soul.

My clothes were merely a reminder of what they once used to be, by now I was covered in dirt, blood, and whatever shit I’d come across. My feet were burned, dirtied, and covered with both bruises and blood. Barely intact sandals tried to do their best to protect my feet with what little was left, preventing the ground from getting another piece of my skin.

And then, I noticed Shin Soo-Won standing beside me.

The only person, who’d tried to stop the sacrifice, and doomed himself when he jumped into the Gateway of Hell and Earth. I could still envision Soo-Won’s face twisted with desperation, fear, and terror as he attempted to reach my bound body on the altar. I could clearly hear him screaming my name, spouting something I couldn’t understand, so loudly that his voice became hoarse.

He no longer resembled the Shin Soo-Won I knew, treasured, and loved.

My best friend before Haruse Seiren.

Soo-Won’s long, silky-looking black hair breezed wildly on his back, unrestricted from its usual binding. His handsome facial features were marred, broken, and starting to look as though they belonged to someone else. One of his gray eyes was slowly turning red, blood dripping like a waterfall.

I screamed, horrified.

I shook my head, nearly about to beg Faustus not to show it to me. I knew what was going to happen, what always happened. I had been there to witness it - to do it. I didn’t want to see my best friend turning into a demon.

Soo-Won was a good inch or so taller than me, often making me feel like I was the size of an ant whenever I was in his presence, Seiren too. He held out a hand, palm up, showing me the fading tattoo I’d put there. I shook my head, taking a few steps back, accidentally pushing some rocks over the cliff behind me. My heart skipped a beat, we hadn’t been anywhere near a cliff.

“Aya-chan,” his voice sounded tired, sickly, and raspy. My breath hitched for a moment, I’d loved the way he called my name. “Do it.” Soo-Won’s eyes went from me to the fading spell, meant to prevent him from turning into a demon or at the very least, prolong it as much as possible.

Wake up, Aya. Wake up! WAKE UP!

“No,” I refused, blinking back unshed tears.

Suddenly, something broke - a round of mirrors surrounding us - the pieces shattering on the ground, and a sword was pierced through Soo-Won’s bare chest. I stared as his long black hair flowed as though time had stopped, his mouth open and eyes widened.

I couldn’t move, instead, I waited for him to fall to the ground. But it never came. Because the next moment, Soo-Won stood behind me. His cold arm was wrapped around me, keeping me trapped in his embrace. His long nails dug deeply into my arm and chin, forcing me to look at his crazed expression.

“You can’t save anyone.”

His words were cold, blunt, and emotionless. Soo-Won’s teeth grazed my ear as he licked me, pressing down the trail of kisses, leaving behind bite marks. I shivered, and an unwilling moan escaped my lips. A memory of our last moment together flashed through my mind.

“Least of all, someone, who never wanted it.”

Not real, it took all my willpower to remind myself that this was nothing more than a dream. Soo-Won dragged his long nail down my neck, making me unwillingly crave his touch, I wanted more. Needed more. But it feels real.

Then, something cold pierced through my heart - a hand had thrust through my chest, tearing it open and holding my still warm, beating heart in his hand.

I screamed, feeling my body falling towards the ground.