Chapter Nine

Tears blurred her vision, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. She didn't even know where she was going, but she kept on moving, not even for once looking back. Why would she look behind her when Reigner wasn't the thing she was running from? The demon was entirely in her head, her mind, her whole being and it was eating her alive, determined to finish her, to destroy her completely. She was suffocating, she needed air, she needed space, an opening, she needed freedom! Sheenah clutched her purse tightly, her palm sweating. She pushed through people, mumbling inaudible apologies until she found the gate, and rushed out of the place, eager to leave. She flagged down a tuktuk and got in, telling the driver the hotels address and sitting back in her seat, trying to control her breathing.

She let out a pained cry, alarming the driver, who was quick to ask, "madam, is everything alright?" He asked in his thick coastal Swahili accent, concern lacing his voice and face. The politeness in this city was beginning to become nauseous. Why was everyone so damn nice!

Breathe. Steady breaths.

She consoled herself, before nodding at the driver.

It was just sex!

You're worthless!

Can't you for once use your beauty for something productive?!

You're worthless!

It's all your fault! I will never forgive you for this!

No wonder your parents-

It was all coming back, and she didn't know what to do. Her heart was breaking again and the pain was worse than before.

"Stop!" She cried, willing the voice to disappear, the memories to go away, the pain to diminish, but it did not. She clutched her head tightly, digging her nails into her skin, trying too hard to make herself feel something more painful. More physical. Now feeling her whole body ache, experiencing a different kind of pain, Sheenah wished Jack had abused her physically. She wished the pain he had inflicted would have been a physical one, rather than emotionally destroying her, when she was already fragile.

Broken.

"Please stop." She whispered softly, slowly becoming weak. The energy to fight drained from her. That was the thing about suppressed pain, when it emerged, it came out stronger than before, as if while under suppression, it was gaining strength and energy, ready to weaken it's victim. It demanded to be felt, and there's only so long as to how long you can run.

The driver looked behind him; shocked, confused and concerned. Was she telling him to stop? Had she reached her destination? He slowed down and looked at his passenger, whose head was down, body shaking lightly. Him being him, stopped the tuktuk and turned around, determined to find out what was wrong with the lady. "madam, what's wrong?" He asked, with the accent that Sheenah had come to love. It made Swahili sound so much sweeter, and was definitely better than Sheng'. "Are you sick? Is it malaria?"

Sheenah looked up, wiped away her tears and tried smiling at the driver, but the smile came out looking like a grimace. "I'm fine, let's go." She replied in Swahili, making the man smile.

"So you're from the Capital. I knew that face wasn't ours." He joked, and she would have been glad to join in if the times and situation were different. She chuckled dryly and went back to her pity party, lowering her head once more.

***

The driver had dropped her off at the hotel, she had paid him more than the required fare and quickly rushed to their room, dropping on her bed on arrival. Jack's words echoed in her head, giving her a migraine and making her heart break. Again. She tried reasoning with herself, that it wasn't her fault. That she had done the right thing by reporting that perverted old guy, a sorry excuse for a boss, but it still didn't make sense to her.

It's all your fault! I will never forgive you for this!

Those words were loud and clear in her head, making her stomach drop, and her throat constrict painfully. She had ruined his life! It was her fault! She curled into a foetus position and for the second time since she came to Mombasa, she cried. Only this time, she made sounds. Painful loud sobs and moans. Nerve wracking cries. All caused by one person.

Jack.

FLASHBACK.

"Aw, looking cute together." It was just another compliment, they were used to them already.

"You two look good together."

"You were made for each other."

"Match made in heaven."

"Couple goals."

Sheenah and Jack were 'power couples' according to many, and she believed they were unbreakable, inseparable, because they honestly loved each other too much. She had met Jack during the middle of her second year in medical school, and they had clicked immediately but officially became a thing during the end of her second year. At that time, he was a fourth year, waiting for his graduation. He was everything she ever wanted in a man; good looking, caring, loving, considerate, focused, mature - the list was endless, and she was very much content.

Jack had graduated from business school, and after hustling around for a few months, got a job at a leading company in the country, where he'd started as a volunteer.

Humble beginnings!

The pay wasn't as good as he'd hoped but not as bad either. At least he had a source of income. That surely counted. Being the hardworking man that he was, who loved what he was doing and excelled in it, the pay slowly rose and he was fine. At least at that time. He asked Sheenah to move in with him; his place wasn't far from her school. She had protested at first, bringing her Catholic upbringing and what people would say into the picture, but later on accepted.

This was her man. And she loved him.

Life got better for both of them, Jack's rank rising, Sheenah doing exemplary well at school and her casual jobs that she'd randomly get and their love for each other increasing, almost becoming insatiable.

They were living a fairytale life, and in reality, there aren't fairy tales. So they had to come back to reality.

Their bubble had to be busted.

Sheenah was in her sixth year in medical school. They were to celebrate their third anniversary in a few days and she was exhilarated. But that was never to happen.

It all changed- them crushing back to reality and having their bubble busted, when Jack's company was having a celebratory party, to celebrate them signing a major deal and it's success throughout the year. It was an end year party that ended everything good in her life. With just a spank!

14th December.

She could never forget the date.

Jack was allowed to carry a plus one, and he thought of none other than the love of his life. So on that day, they dressed up, and showed up. Sheenah feeling weary. She had a bad feeling about that day, and her instincts were always correct. She put on her best smile and mingled with the people who she was sure she would never meet again, until it was too much.

She needed a breather.

"Hey, I'll just go get some air." She whispered to Jack.

"Sure thing love." He smiled, with love radiating from his eyes.

She walked off, heading to the balcony, too glad she could finally be alone.

Except, she wasn't.

There had been a certain man whose attention Sheenah had captured the moment she'd arrived, and he wasn't about to let go of his prey. So he made his way to the balcony where Sheenah was, ready to destroy everything.

"Hello beautiful lady." He had said, in his rough gruffy voice.

Sheenah looked around, before her eyes settled on the man. He looked matured. If she had had a dad, or even known him, she would have had something to approximate his age with. She cleared her mind before smiling politely in response, "hello." And then went back to staring at the city's glow during the night. A sign that she wasn't interested in interacting with the man.

"Isn't it beautiful?" He asked, clearly not getting the message.

She, on the other hand, gave him a tight smile and continued staring. Waiting for him to leave.

"So you are the shy quiet type." He said, seeming proud.

What he did next surprised Sheenah.

He spanked her!

Before remarking, "how much are you?"

What in the world was wrong with him? Did he just assume that she was a prostitute?

She looked at herself, observing her dressing. The blue formal dress she had worn was in no way provocative. Jack had even joked that people would think she was going to church. It was that decent. And this man here insulted her and spanked her.

Double trouble.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She hissed hating the place.

"Oh, feisty. Just my type." He reached over to touch her arm and she pushed him away, making him stumble.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She warned. "Aren't you ashamed? Hitting on a girl the age of your daughter? Disgusting." She spat, and made as if to move but the man blocked her way.

"I can provide for you better than that boy you have. What's his name? Jackson?"

So he knew. He knew that she was with Jack but still was doing this to her! It made her more furious and before she could fathom her thoughts, she slapped him. Slapped him really hard across the face that her hand hurt. But it had felt good.

"How dare- You slut!" He grabbed her arm painfully, eyes soaring red with anger, emitting danger. He was going to hurt her. So she screamed. She screamed really hard that in a minute the balcony was flooded, and the man was caught off guard, his hands still grasping her arm painfully. People started staring and he quickly let go, disappearing quickly.

Jack rushed to her side, concern and fear on his face, "hey are you hurt? Is everything okay? Why'd you scream?"

"Let's get out of here." She answered instead.

And it went downhill from there.

***

"What happened?" Jack asked, and she explained.

"I was at the balcony, taking a breath, and then this old man shows up. He greets me and I return the greeting, dismissing him in return, but he doesn't get the message, and in turn tries small talks, which I ignore. And then he calls me a prostitute and spanks me. So I get angry and yell at him, and then try to leave but he wouldn't let me. What made me furious was that he knew you. He knew I was with you and had still treated me the way he did, so I slapped him. And then he grabbed my hand and I thought he was going to hurt me, so I screamed." She said in one breath, glad to have finally let it all out. Jack was always her to go to person, then the girls. He understood her better than anyone else. He was the best listener, making it easy for her to pour herself to him.

All her fears. All her insecurities.

She allowed herself vulnerability with Jack. Only, she never thought he'd use it against her; to break her.

"That was my boss." Jack said after her ranting.

Sheenah's breath caught in her throat, almost choking her. The perverted old guy who had assaulted her and would have hurt her if she hadn't screamed was Jack's boss?! What the heck!

"Wow." She answered instead. Too shocked.

That night, they forgot, or better said, decided to forget the incident. Sheenah took a warm shower, changed into her sleep clothes and snuggled in with the love of her life. It was just an unfortunate event. Better forgotten.

Only it wasn't.

***

On Monday, two days after the incident that had occurred on a Friday, Jack was called by his boss. Sheenah thought that maybe he was going to apologize or threaten him to not speak of the incident to anyone. She was hoping for the former. He had to apologize.

"I was fired." Jack said instead. His face sad and tired. She didn't know what to say, so instead of speaking, she went and hugged him.

"I want to rest." He left and went into the bedroom, Sheenah thinking nothing of it.

Jack was a smart guy, and excellent at his job. He would get a job soon. Until then, she didn't mind providing for them both, her casual jobs were more frequent and she even had one where she was on paycheck. How she managed medical school and work still amazes her.

Jack, a couple of days later was on his feet hustling for a job. He went at every place he could find, but was turned down.

Reason being his girlfriend.

The love of his life.

He was legit pissed at Sheenah and was angry at himself for being angry at her. It wasn't her fault he was jobless, but he needed somewhere; someone, to direct his frustrations and anger and hurt and disappointments to.

He chose her.

That day he went and got drunk, trying to drown his problems in alcohol.

"With the festivities, most companies are closed. I'm sure by next year you'll find something." Sheenah smiled and tried to be supportive, encouraging her man.

Jack continued his job hunting, and at the end of each day, would grab a bottle to ease his pain.

'It was just sex.'

Sheenah wouldn't have lost anything, and he would still have his job.

'It was all her fault.'

Sheenah came back from school one Friday only to find Jack on the couch, drinking, with the house looking like a tornado had passed through it. She was tired, she had had a long day and wanted to sleep already. She picked a piece of cloth on her way to the bedroom, mumbling a hey at her boyfriend.

"So you're already fed up with me." Jack hissed, stopping Shennah's tracks. "You're giving me attitude!"

"What are you talking about?" She asked softly.

"Oh please. Don't act like you don't know."

"Jack, I had a long day. A very long one. I'll just go take a shower first." She turned to leave when the raging started.

Fridays were becoming her worst days.

"Oh, you had a long day? And what about me? You think I didn't?" He paused, "right, I don't have a job for me to be entitled to say that I had a long day. And it's because of you!" He finally accused.

He was being petty and unreasonable. And he knew it.

But it just felt so darn good to finally have someone to turn the anger on. It was sad that it had to be his love.

"What?!" Sheenah shrieked. Visibly shocked and hurt.

"That's right. It's all your fault I'm unemployed and getting on your nerves."

"What do you mean it's my fault? Your boss sexually assaulted me. So what, I was to watch and smile?"

"It was just sex!"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. What her boyfriend was accusing her of.

"Can't you for once use your beauty for something productive? I'd still have my job and you wouldn't need to give me attitude for laying on the couch and living under a roof paid by you!"

This was just unbelievable.

"Jack," she started slowly. "you're drank and angry. Come down and we'll talk about... "

"Don't tell me to calm down!" He was now almost yelling. "If you hadn't pretended to be the good girl that you aren't we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

Then he said it.

The beginning of many insults and derogatory words that would break her.

"You're worthless."

She gasped. Too shocked for words.

"Jack-"

"Don't even call my name. You're cursed. You know that? Anything good you touch gets destroyed. See Mam Rose for example. No wonder your parents didn't want to keep you. They knew all along."

He couldn't stop. Didn't want to stop.

Sheenah was on the ground sobbing. The one person she had been comfortable enough to share her soul with was breaking that same soul. Using her vulnerabilities and insecurities to destroy her. She cried, unable to hear the rest of the insults as Jack spewed them. Nonstop.

He was emotionally breaking her.

Torturing her.

Making her question her very existence.

"It's all your fault. I will never forgive you for this."

He left her on the ground.

Sheenah crying her heart out. Her heart, body and soul shattering loudly.

Her starting to believe his words.

***

Tuktuk- tuktuk is a public service vehicle, almost like a taxi with a passenger carriage of three people.

Sheng'- Sheng' is a language, mostly used in the ghetto/slum areas of the capital city of Nairobi. It's a combination of 'twisted' Swahili, with a bit of Bantu language.

***

Oh, I am also mad at Jack :!