Chapter~004

~Despite your tears and broken heart the world remains in motion~

The next few days were a blur. I could barely differentiate between the days of the week and I almost never new the time. I felt as if I was unconscious only existing in an alternate universe where everything was getting better and worse simultaneously.

Although I felt blessed by what Tris’s father left behind for me I also felt as if none of it was worth it if he was not alive to see it. I felt as if I had gained so much and lost so much more in the process. I managed to re-register at the university for the second semester for my second year and I was due to start in a weeks time. I began gathering textbooks and other school materials and also started to recap on the previous semester as it had been a year since I last did it.

Everything was coming together but at same it was all falling apart.Tris was not coping although she tried to hide her sadness from me in an effort to make me fell better I could still hear her crying most nights through the thin walls of our apartment. The dark circles under her eyes and her pale alimony sickly complexion was evidence that she was not doing well.

Despite me offering to take all her shifts at the cafe until I was to go back to school she refused. She had begun to take double shifts and was working herself to death. I could see myself in her but I also recognised her habits.

We had lived together for so long that I had seen her when her mom passed away. She delved in the same cycle of overworking herself without rest. Although it was not healthy it was how she coped, how she kept herself sane and despite my disagreement with her methods I still respected her pain and allowed her space to grieve properly .

I had experienced the consequences of disrupted or differed grieving. I remember initially when father passed away my mother had refused to recognise the death of her husband and would get quite angry at the mention of it. It had gotten to a point where she was unwilling to plan the funeral saying that her husband would return to her despite knowing that he was gone she was unwilling to accept it and that denial destroyed her even after his burial.

The was a time where she would call me into her room and tell me stories of how her and my dad met. They had met under the most cliche circumstances that I would not have believed if my dad had not told me the the tale before.

They had met on a rainy day in a library that my mom was working at for the December holidays. According to my mother my dad had walked in soaked by the rain looking for refuge and mother had offered him a cup of coffee to warm up and they ended up bonding over a book in a empty library on a rainy. My dad had said that he had been so enamoured by my mother that he would have married her on the spot if she agreed but had decided that that would be a tad bit creepy.

My father decided to frequent the library just to see my mother and when the holidays ended and she returned to school they found themselves in the same faculty building and were together ever since.

It took my mother almost a year to accept that my father was gone and by then it was too late and she passed away a week later.

Therefore even though I was not much of a fan of the way Tris went about the grieving process I could not judge her as I had seen her go through this before and I knew she would be able to do it again.

I was in the kitchen cooking some stir fry pasta when Tris returned. I had just removed the chicken strips from the fridge and was about to cook it when she walked into the kitchen a little smile on her face at the sight of food.

“What are you making?” She asked hanging her coat on the back of the door and placing her tote bag on the kitchen counter.

“Stir fry with mushrooms and cherry tomatoes” I muttered while turning the stove on and placing the pan with the chicken strips on top. “How was work?”

She took a sit on the kitchen counter and turned in the kettle. “The same but Jonathan was fire”

I stirred the chicken before turning around to face her the confusion evident on my face. “What did he do this time?” I asked, Jonathan was always up to mischief but I have never seen him do anything that could get him fired and even if he did do something the sweet old couple running the cafe would not fire someone for simple mischief.

“Oh he was found harassing some girl in the stuff bathroom” Tris said while drumming her hands on her thighs. “Apparently he has been asking her out for weeks and she clearly was not interested but he would not let her go”

I was not surprised by that, Jonathan was always flirting with every girl that entered the cafe and he was persistent in his flirting. Too persistent. “He probably has been on her case for weeks knowing him.” I said while string the chicken.

She hummed in agreement before her gaze returned to the food. “You are going back to school next week right?”

“ Ah yes the university sent me an email today regarding the details” I responded while I added the vegetables to the browned chicken adding a it bit of seasoning and a bit of soy sauce for a bit of tanginess.

“Oh that’s good” She responded. “I’m reply glad that you’ll be going back to school I just wish I was able to help you at the time.”

Frowning I turned away from the pot. “Tris the was nothing you could have done and we know that, you gave me a home and family and that was more that I could have asked for so don’t blame yourself for something you had no control over.”

She knew that my last words referred to more than my fees but to her fathers passing. I know she blamed herself but it was out of her control and she needed to know that.

I moved closer to her and held her in my embrace for a while before going back to finish cooking.

And as we sat on the couch close to each our hearts healed just a little.

Amberia