Chapter 12

What Lord Celeborn wanted was not to interrogate his guest but to offer her a place where she could feel free to express herself, especially knowing how many contrasting emotions she hid. They walked back to the gardens and to his joy, he found that Mistril was less tense than when she arrived. Of course, she did not ask anything about the brothers and their business in Lothlorien considering it was not her right to know. She was right but her coming to his land was already a step forward towards regaining her light.

"Do you enjoy your time here, Mistril?" Lord Celeborn asked.

There was no real place he wanted to take her to (like Galadriel did) but he did want to make her feel like she could run if she needed to. Mistril was not an elleth that could be confined, one of the reasons she probably traveled so much.

"There are three main lands of elves and each is different and special in its own way. Lothlorien is truly magical. I can see why Arwen enjoys her stay here." she answered not really giving her answer. Lord Celeborn chuckled at her evasion and stopped.

"But it's not home, is it? No place will ever feel like home." He said understanding her view. "I have to recognize I am curious. Not about your years as captive but your years as a free elleth." 

"In Gondolin?" She asked thinking she had to give him the same story she gave Elrond.

"No. I'm sure those years were the happiest but I am more curious about your travels."

"I haven't gone too far. I tried to keep away from Angmar and-" she smiled as she remembered one particular place. "I got lost once and discovered the most beautiful place in Middle earth. The Shire..." 

The way her eyes sparkled was a clear sign of how fond she was of that far away land. It looked like her whole demeanor changed, as if she suddenly became younger.

"The hobbits welcomed you?" He asked curiously.

"Yes. There was the Took family, very joyful fellows. They invited me in their little hobbit hole and told me stories, asked me so many things...it was the first time I felt safe in a long time."

Seeing how she was reminiscing such happy moments of her life, Celeborn decided to grow bolder and ask her details about her stay with the woodelves.

"What about Greenwood? Why did you run in the forest when you knew goblins were following you?" He asked in such a way that did not feel like judgement but pure interest. 

She gave a long sigh and turned to look into the elder's eyes. For a second she almost seemed guilty but it faded instantly.

"I did not plan my stay there, at least not under the circumstances it happened. But the Elvenking saw right through me, he was right to doubt my intentions. He figured it out before I remembered but Glorfindel's arrival probably confused him." She stopped and took a long look around before she turned her eyes on Celeborn. "Darkness fills me body and soul and he felt it. He was right all along and yet he still let me live there for a while. He did it for Legolas."

"You chose Greenwood. You wanted to hide there." 

Mistril nodded, seemingly not feeling any remorse for her past actions. She just looked...empty.

"I heard rumors about wood elves and their Elvenking, of how suspicious he is, how he doesn't like a majority of things and keeps to himself. He witnessed his father's death and his wife died while protecting their son. I would lie if I were to say I was not curious."

"So what truly happened?"

"I heard of a creature that lurks in the darkness of the mountains. A little vile creature that comes down in order to find food, fish mostly. He speaks to himself and to another and he doesn't quite remember much of who he was. One man mentioned he had seen him and heard him speaking with his precious. Sauron used that word before after forging his ring, it sent chills down my back. It's been lost for so long..."

He could visibly see the stress of having such a direct connection to the evil. Although her expression and tone changed, her eyes were still so cold. It felt like two people living in the same body and he was sure it may just as well be the case.

"Where you going to kill the creature?" He asked.

"No. But I wanted to make sure he will never see sunlight again. Unfortunately goblins noticed me and I had to run before I could catch a glimpse of him. They were a lot more than I expected so I thought that if I run through the forest I will eventually find the woodelves. I was shot when I was already hungry and tired. I was down in that clearing for a month before Legolas found me. Trees led him to me and I will forever be indebted to the young prince for bringing me back to life." 

Lord Celeborn smiled and somehow they ended up not far from where Galadriel showed Mistril a version of her future. The orange haired elleth stopped and look at it from afar. Celeborn was a wise and mature ellon, he didn't have to see inside her mind in order to know exactly what she was thinking about. He couldn't lie that he would quite enjoy if Galadriel was right about Mistril's future. 

"Am I weak if I give in? Or am I weak if I don't?" She suddenly asked, her voice sounding so far away although she was standing next to him. "I don't know what to do, which path to choose. What I know is that I want him to be there, on the way if not at the end waiting." She turned and looked into Celeborn's eyes with so much innocence that he couldn't believe for a moment she was the fearful Daewen. 

"What do you want? Where does your heart lead you to?" 

She placed one hand over her chest and looked down at her feet. It was selfish of her to want him to love her but she couldn't help it. She was already harbouring so many feelings for him. 

When she got home, everyone was either asleep or just didn't want to bother her. Mistril went on the balcony where she let her drawing utensils earlier that day and sat down, looking at the starry sky. She smiled unconsciously at the beauty of tinkling stars, at the moon, at how pure it was and how darkness has not touched it one bit. One star flickered before it started to fall. Mistril watched it hoping that he was doing the same.

----------------------------------------------------

And he was, he truly was looking at the same sky and at the same falling star. He couldn't help think about her and what she was doing. He doubted her from the beginning, seeing the emptiness that he had only seen in the eyes of the dead. She had lost her way, had lost her light and lost her entry to the afterlife. And yet he couldn't help but wonder how remembering all the evil deeds she had done affected her.

"My lord, I have to talk to you about Dol Guldur." Faervel approached the king silently. "The scouts I sent to the south of the forest resported back this morning. It's terrible what is coming towards us and I am sure-"

Thranduil was in his sleeping robes but couldn't quite go to bed yet. He didn't want a glass of wine either and eventually found himself on the eastern balcony that gave towards the Lonely Mountain. 

"I respect your opinions Faervel but I do not remember ordering any scouts. If I remember correctly, I ordered everyone to stay inside our land." He emphasized even if Faervel did not seem to care about his king's authority at the moment. "I need our people to be safe. I cannot have them fear more than they already do."

"I understand. I already added a few more troops at every important corner of our border. But the evil is growing stronger, it moves faster and spreads wider. At the same time, we're doing nothing but making it easier for it by gathering in one place." The military elf spoke back.

"Are you doubting my word, Faervel?" 

"No, you are my king and always will be." 

"Very well," Thranduil said before he turned to look at the sky. He sighed heavily as he heard his most trusted warrior leave. 

Outside, waiting impatiently for their leader, was a group of a few men and women. As soon as, Farrvel stepped out of the Halls, they approached him.

"What did the king say?" 

Faervel looked to the side at the still protected land of the elves before he answered. 

"He said we should take care of our people. We'll each take a side of Mirkwood and bring information at the end of every week. Do not spare any detail." He ordered and his most trusted warriors nodded before taking their places. 

----------------------------------------------------

"Are we there yet?" Asked a tired and bored Legolas. There wasn't much he could do on their way to Lothlorien because no danger approached their group. He didn't have much in common with Miluinir and no matter how much he respected Gweluven, the healer was actually a very plain person. "I really miss Mistril," he mumbled to himself.

"We'll be there by nightfall." Gweluven answered seeing how Miluinir rolled his eyes in annoyance. Legolas was not the type to travel in peace, he was active and he was young. It was only natural that he would have prefered somebody else for a travel mate.

"Why do they need your help anyway? Isn't Lord Celeborn skilled in the art of healing as well? I heard rumors of miracles happening in Lothlorien before." Legolas commented hitting an imaginary stone. 

"Gweluven is the best healer of the elves!...sir." Miluinir shouted before he remembered who he was angry with. "He is the wisest and his skill cannot be compared to any." He added in a calmer tone. 

But Legolas did not seem impressed. All he could think about was how this was nothing but a punishment for him for asking to be included in the military. 

"Then why is his help needed for a mere orcish poison?" 

Miluinir and Gweluven glanced at each other knowingly before they turned to the prince. 

"Is that was the king told you?" Gweluven asked warily. Legolas was confused. "We have been summoned by Lady Galadriel herself."

"What for if not the poison?" 

Gweluven smiled already imagining his prince's reaction to his words. 

"For Mistril." 

Legolas' eyes sparkled with excitement and curiosity and he suddenly grew faster. 

"Then let's get there before nightfall!" 

Gweluven chuckled to himself but he was actually a bit worried. The Mistril from Lothlorien was no more the Mistril they knew.

But the group of woodelves still had a few more hours to go and Mistril could do many things in that time. She could barely close her eyes and relax the night before and when morning came about, she was quick to go practice. Illion found her there and she was not using the arrows but her knives. 

"She looks quite elegant in the way she moves, doesn't she?"  Elrohir asked as he approached the place Illion was in. 

"What are you, her guard?" 

Elrohir chuckled and shook his head. If anything Mistril was their guard for the travel. 

"It's hard to believe she was an assasin of Mordor." Elrohir said without thinking much about it. Illion's eyes widened as he glanced between the elf and the training elleth. 

"I wondered about her hair colour and other details but never thought so far as to place her in the army of the evil." Illion mumbled in awe. "How could she had fallen into darkness? How could she had killed her own kin?" 

"There are many details that you don't know about. " Arwen said coming towards them with the sun shining behind her. "Do not judge her so harshly Illion. It was not her fault that darkness surrounded her. It is as Lady Galadriel said: it is her choices of the present and future that matter now." 

"She's quiet most of the time. We don't know what goes on in her mind or spirit." 

Arwen smiled softly as she watched Mistril train.

"But we do. Her mind is filled with one thing only and that is love." 

Even Elrohir looked surprised at his sister. Illion was confused and overloded with information.

"Love? Does she even know what love is?" Illion asked scoffing at the idea of a washed up elleth giving in to such pure emotions. 

Maybe it did not show because there was a bit of distance between them but Mistril heard them perfectly. Her heart trembled at Illion's question and she too wondered what would happen if she were put in the posture of choosing between love and her former master.