Breaking point.

I had found shelter in an old garage.Getting through the night was not easy but I simply refused to give up.I would die trying.

When dawn had finally fallen,I got up and wrapped myself around my rag to prepare myself for the day ahead of me.I felt weak and dizzy but I could not just sit and do nothing.While assuring myself that everything would be alright,I staggered on to go and see what the day had to offer.

The first half of my day started on a slow pace.I just wondered around like a lost dog.At some instances,I would catch people staring at me and I did not blame them at all.

As I was passing by an old restaurant,something caught my eye.

Right at the entrance of the door was a sign notifying the public that they needed a waitress.I did not hesitate,at once I went to try my luck.When I got inside,I was greeted by a heavy smell of alcohol.I hated this smell.It added to the dizziness i already felt and at once,I fell to the floor.

What happened after that I did not know but when I regained consciousness,I found myself in a place full of dirty dishes.There was noone around me.I looked around and recalled that I was at a restaurant trying to get a job.I found my way out of the room filled with dirty dishes and made my way to the main restaurant.As I entered,everyone looked at me and I could hear small chatterings among them.Then all of a sudden....

A woman pulled me roughly from behind.

"who are you and why did you choose to come and create a scene in my restaurant!"

Ma...madam!....I come here for the job,I spoke shakingly.

Everyone began to laugh.

"please do not waste my time",the woman spoke.

"I need experienced workers not you who fails to even maintain your balance",she mocked.

I was desparate for a job but I got up and left inorder to protect the little dignity that I had left.

That incident was such a drawback indeed.I had been given a glimpse of how hard life in town was.As I was walking hopelessly,I suddenly heard a voice behind me.

"heyyy!"

I turned back and saw a plump woman approaching me.She resembled my mother a bit...My mother! ...I wondered if she missed me or wondered at all whether I was okay or not,dead or alive.A tap on the shoulder brought me back to reality.

" I saw how you where treated in the restaurant earlier...I am really sorry"

I wiped a tear from my eyes and just looked at her.

" I would like to offer you a job if you do not mind"

I nodded my head in agreement without wasting any time.

"as a maid?...and I must say I have quite an extended family"

At this point,I could do any work.

She showed me the directions to her house and it was near the old garage I had slept in.I just had to count four Mobile money booths and I would be there.

I was filled with a sense of satisfaction.Atleast things were beggining to fall into place.....I went to sleep that day in a very hopefull mood indeed.

I woke up early and walked to a nearby stream, washed my face and feet , washed my rug as well and hung it on a tree next to the garage .I quickly began my journey to the woman's house. At 7am, I was already knocking on a big green gate. After what seemed like five minutes of knocking, a tall dark man dressed in a blue shirt and black trousers opened the gate.

i introduced myself and why I was there , he smiled and told me to walk up to the brown door and press the button on the top right of the door . My feet felt cool and I found my way to the door , walking on the paved yard . The surrounding was beautiful.

I pressed the button and waited to see what would happen , in less than 10 seconds I was welcomed by the woman's charming smile , she then told me to follow her . I was led to the bathroom , given a bathing towel and soap . I took a warm bath , which made me feel like a human again .

I was given a new dress and apron ( maid's outfit ) . After dressing up , the woman showed me the seven rooms I had to clean every morning, gave me breakfast then left me to do my job .

.....it was a load of work but the pay was good , a K200 is better than the price I was sold at.

Days turned into weeks and weeks to months. I worked for this woman for 7 months , I was heavily pregnant by then but that didn't stop me from performing my daily duties. The woman didn't bother to ask any questions about my pregnancy.

I opened a savings bank account with the help of Mr Zimba ( the woman's husband) . I only kept a K50 for myself and the rest of the money was put in my savings account.

Every Sunday I'd find myself some piece of work to do . I didn't believe anything comes from relaxing .

As I walked home one Sunday evening I saw Mr Zimba sitting at the gate he was knocking and asking Bwalya his wife to please let him in . I hesitated but then gathered the courage and walked up to him .

"Good evening sir...." he quickly got to his feet

" Misozi " he looked uncomfortable but managed to smile " What are you doing here this late ?" ....." Am heading home sir , I went out to buy myself something to eat ."

That was obviously a lie because I had no evidence I had bought something, I went on to say " your wife must be sleeping by now ....or maybe she doesn't want to disturb the baby "

Mr Zimba nodded...."You're right.."

"If you don't mind , my home is not far from here , you can try reaching her on phone but you can't sit here looking lost ."

We walked to my home in silence. I made him some tea which I poured in a can I had decorated to look like a cup. He's phone rung and he walked out and picked the call . He was at a distance but I could hear all the Bemba insults from his wife . He walked back in and asked if he could spend a night .

Was I about to trust another beast....

"Am not comfortable with that sir , why would you leave the comfort of your room to spend a night on a hard floor ?"

" All a man ever wants is peace , a woman that would understand and support him through thick and thin. "

..."shade more light...."

"Bwalya and I met in university, I was in my final year when our story started. I got a job a year after graduating. We built a house together in Lusaka. Immediately after she was done with her course I put a ring on her finger , we got married 3 months later ." .....he stopped and smirked

"A year later , Bwalya was pregnant. We were so excited and informed all our relatives, we then promised my mother who wanted to see Bwalya that we would go when Bwalya gets her maternity leave . In her eighth month Bwalya managed to get a leave and in less than a week we were on our way to my mother's house .....

....music was loud and I was driving at a very high speed , I decided to take a glimpse at my pregnant wife but before I could focus my eyes back on the road I heard a track hooting and approaching me at a high speed ..... before I knew it I was driving in the forest and I hit a tree . "

He posed and wiped a tear

" The accident did not only rob me of my unborn child but also left me less of a man .....I am impotent. Since that day my wife never missed a chance to rub it in my face that I can't make her pregnant.....she hits me and makes me spend nights outside my home . She brings in different men that have managed to get her pregnant. Each day of my life am tormented and I can't talk to anyone about this because... im a man."

I didn't know what to say , all my life I believed men were superior....I never thought any woman had the courage to face a man or torment him . I walked to my rug and lay my body on my old torn rug ...I closed my eyes and in no time I was fast asleep .

The next morning I woke up and noticed Mr Zimba was out of sight , seems he had gone back home . I was relieved I didn't find him that morning but also felt sorry for the poor man .I walked to the stream , took a bath and put on my working attire .....I got to work at exactly 7 am and all I could hear were noises . Glasses breaking , voices raising and I knew tempers were high .

I got into the house and saw Mr Zimba laying behind a broken fan ...I felt my feet getting warm and I noticed I was stepping on blood .

Mr Zimba was badly injured....I quickly ran to the bathroom and got a towel and some water in a bucket...

...as I was about to help Mr Zimba I felt someone grab me by the neck and the next the I my head had hit the wall and I was bleeding too.

" Now you want to nurse my husband iwe ka hule (prostitute )...this is why you are pregnant for a man no one knows about "

I was barely alive at that point , but she managed to drag me outside the yard and started to shout hule !!!(prostitute ) . Women joined and the next thing I was stripped naked and beaten . They did this while dragging me around town ....I was then dropped in what looked like a forest and they all walked away .

Sudden my waist started to burn my feet were hurting and it was not because of the walking. I saw some fluid between my legs but still didn't understand.....the pain was something I couldn't handle I felt like I was about to die ....I closed my eyes and tried to shout for help...but to no avail. I then noticed a gush of blood from where I was seated. I then knew I was in labour .

I forced myself to push the baby out and managed. I wrapped my little one in my apron ....I was blessed with a boy .