Nobody told me

AFTER

A S T R O

It was already two days since Zen gave me the journal. I was so thankful to him and wanted to thank him but he hadn't seem to appear. So I wasn't ready to take the risk of going out of my room with my bandaged wrist.

Anyway today I can't help myself from going out of my room because the graduation is almost near and I have nothing than an empty head.

Comforting myself inside my gray hoodie I decided to go out taking the advice from Nathania. Who said "we've no way out than studing"

My friends and everyone would have been gathered up in the library by now. Thinking there is no way than studing for the exam.

I have been learning properly till the first half yearly semester but than my learning and everything collapsed or else it could be describe as I hadn't forced myself to learn.

Walking, I reached the front door of the library and I know I wasn't ready to appear infront of them but I know I had to do this, so I inhaled a deep breathe before taking my feet inside the library.

Everyone was discussing about the topics and when they sensed my presences they all looked up "hey Astro" Nathania was the first to greet me.

"Hey" I said in return, deciding she would have heard me.

"Come on buddy" Ray called and I forced a smile which I had no idea how it would have turned to be.

Taking a seat in the corner I looked up to meet my gaze only with Tania. She stared at me with a hint of what should be said as sympathy.

She offered a lite smile at me and I tried to smile but I couldn't.

Sighing I opened a book that was ready to be touched and it was non than a gigantic math text. Opening the book I eyed through the pages with disgust.

"What the hell is this" I cursed under my breathe and I heard someone chuckling next to me.

Jerking my head up I met my gaze with a pair of dark brown eyes.

"You hate it so much, why don't you try something before opening math" ivy ask a small smile tugging on her lips.

I rapidly shook my head in denial "I barely even learnt math and if I'm not ready to open this book than I would fail in math"

"Fine, as you wish" she said.

"And If you want any help please ask me" she added and I nod.

Scrolling through the pages, I grabbed a book and some pen before trying to do the equations by myself. It was hard at first than after doing some I could understand the formulas, so it became less tough.

Everything was not clear in the hall, there was a silences between everyone. An awkward silences.

I know what's missing here and why everyone are so forced to busy themselves like studying but actually not.

Anyway atleast I'm glad that I have this stupid math problem. So I could also pretend like I don't mind everyone's upset faces.

"You're doing well" ivy said taking a pause while scanning the problems I have done.

"What you're learning??" I ask and she looked up from my book to met my eyes before saying "history"

Nodding my head, I again return back to my book deciding to do some more problems but than I remembered someone.

"Hey, Zen hadn't came" I asked ivy and she looked up at me with confusion clouding her face.

"Zen??"

"Yeah, I thought he would've been also here"

"Hadn't he came to meet you??" She questioned.

"Yeah he did"

"Didn't he say he was leaving" she asked and I went all confused.

"What?? No he said nothing like that"

"Oh I'm sorry he leaved the school" she said with a apologies look and my eyes almost came out.

"What? But why?? The graduation is next month and why should he leave and why he hadn't told me that he was going, what the hell was that" I almost raised my voice causing everyone to glance up at me.

"Hey, what's the matter" Nathania asked in a calm voice like always.

Ivy cleared her throat before continuing "Zen hadn't told astro that he was leaving the school"

"He hadn't?? Oh we are sorry, we thought he would've told you" Nathania bitted her bottom lips.

"No" was all I could say.

"We really tried to make him stay but he hadn't listened" said Ray.

At the moment I wanted to yell at all of them but I stayed quiet because I know well that shouting makes nothing normal.

"I'm leaving" I said standing up from my seat. Everyone looked at me worried but I had no idea if I could stop myself from shouting all the emotion that I bottled up myself.

"Astro" ivy called after me but I hadn't wanted to feel guilty for shouting all the shitty emotions that could come out of my mouth. I was afraid that I would hurt them by all the hatred that I stored myself.

"Astro please stop" I left the library letting the voice hung in the air.