Making amends

As I lay in my room, tears streaming down my face, the events of the day kept replaying in my head. It wasn't the worst day, but it hurt so much. It reminded me of when I was a new student at River Lake Primary School. I had transferred there with excitement, looking forward to starting high school in a new place with new people. Ella was the first person to approach me. She seemed nice and adorable, and I thought I had found a friend. Little did I know, she was using me as a scapegoat. She planted exam answers in my locker and bag during the first term, which got me disqualified, detained for the entire term, and put on communal service. From that day on, I became her bullying toy. I tried confronting her, but she always had her pack by her side, and she used her mom's power to get things done her way.

As I cried in my room, someone entered. I stayed quiet and sat up straight. "Darling," I heard my dad say, and I quickly turned to look at him. "Oh sweetheart, come here," he said, enveloping me in a warm teddy bear hug. It brought back nostalgic feelings and a sense of home. I hugged him back; it was all I needed. "I'm so sorry, honey. I know I haven't been the best," he said, caressing my back. "You've been the worst," I said, tears continuing to roll down my cheeks. "I know, and I'm really sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I thought we both needed space. I needed space to think, to accept," he said, his voice becoming shaky. "I needed you, Dad. I needed your love. It was the... the time... I needed you the most," I said, burying my face in his neck.

"You moved away from me. Is it because I have her features? Is it because I look like her? Do I hurt you by looking like her? You should have told me I was going to change," I said, my voice filled with pain. "No, Bell. You are not the problem. You are perfect. You are the perfect example of how perfect and beautiful your mom truly was. She left you, her amazing product, and I would never want to change you for anything," he said, making me face him. He kissed my forehead and then joined our foreheads together. "Dad..." I said, uncertain. "Yes," he answered, looking into my eyes. "This is super awkward," I said, chuckling. He chuckled too and teasingly pushed my head with his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with you. I made a mistake," he said, and he tightly hugged me.

"I thought I had moved on, but a recent event brought back all those memories at once, and I found myself needing space and time to think. I feared that you would see through me and be hurt too," Dad explained.

"Dad, you have the right to feel that way, and always know that I will always be by your side," I said, holding him tightly.

"The only time you're going to win is for-never," I said, making a move. We were playing chess while Aunt Marica sipped her wine and watched a thriller movie as usual. "Oh, we're getting cocky now," Dad said, making a wrong move. "Oh, come on, just suck it up. You've already lost. You just gave away your queen. I swear, every time you play this game, you suck even more," Aunt Marica remarked, sipping her wine audibly. "Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Dad replied. "Excuse me, Dad. I'm very good at chess, unless you mean Marica," I said, taking away his queen. "Oh, please, chess is easy peasy. It's like learning how to eat," Aunt Marica said confidently. "Okay, adults, you're confusing me now. You don't learn how to eat, right?" I asked, looking at Dad for confirmation. "Hey, don't look at me. I don't know anything. My mom told me I was a super child and learned how to eat when I was a few hours old," Dad said. "That's the dumbest and smartest thing I've ever heard," Aunt Marica chuckled, shaking her head. "You know, for someone with a Ph.D. in law, you can be quite obtuse," I said, making a move. Aunt Marica choked on her wine, looking amused. Dad stared at me with a "you just did not call me that" look. "Uhm, slip of the tongue," I said, preparing to run. "Oh, hell no. She just did not," Aunt Marica exclaimed, laughing. "Well, she just did," Dad responded. As soon as he said that, he started chasing me around the house. I ran behind maids and furniture, but he caught me and tickled me until my face turned dark pink. Tickling was my biggest weakness. I laughed until tears of jubilation filled my eyes.

Talking to Dad made things much better and clearer. I felt more at ease, knowing that my dad was back to normal, or at least trying to be. The once shining bright light in his eyes had dimmed, but he was still my Tony Stark, my Iron Man. He was full of sarcasm, and he didn't always take things seriously. He didn't know what to say at the right time, but when he really messed up, he would do anything to fix it. He was my pillar and my superhero, and not talking to each other had weighed heavily on me. Making amends with my dad helped me find some light in the dark tunnel and showered my heart with rays of sunlight, warming me from within.

I pondered on whether to tell my dad about the things happening at school, but I decided to keep quiet for now. He was still trying to recover from his old wounds, and sharing my troubles might set him back.

I just hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the near future!