Roomies

"Excuse me?" Max raised her voice, confused. "You just told me he—"

"No, no, he is very much walking this planet. There is more than one way to die, Max."

Max hung her head again, knowing for sure that she was going to feel guilty.

As if she hadn't already felt this way every single day for seven years. As if she hadn't known that her decision was a selfish one. A decision that was solely based on her inability to look her father in the eye. She was disgusted with herself mentally and physically, and Max would be damned if she unleashed her infinite head issues on anyone.

"Your dad searched for YEARS to find you. He quit his job to do it. Driving, buses, trains, he went everywhere. After about three years he just sort of . . . lost it."

"Lost it?" Max asked hesitantly. She felt her nails dig into her skin once again.

"Yes . . . I guess he lost himself, is more what happened."

Max sat back, bracing herself for the horror stories of how she'd ruined everyone's lives.

You get used to being a disappointment, she thought to herself. Everyone around her was affected in some way by her refusal to get better. Chris was the only exception. Max knew he felt the same judgment, the same pain, the same self-destruction, and the same loss of sanity. Neither Anna nor Max's father could ever begin to grasp the concept of hell taking you over, burning deep inside of you. When your mind sounds like white noise every day with not a single moment of relief.

"He never leaves the house, except when he goes to the market on Saturdays to sell random crap from the house just so he can eat."

Max simply looked at her unaware of how to respond and regretted it when she saw Anna get pissed off even more.

"Max! His willingness to live is gone. He still hopes that somehow, somewhere, you are still alive and that's the ONLY reason he is still breathing."

Anna was clenching her teeth when Max tried to interject.

"Look, Anna, I can't explain—"

"I know you feel like you can't, but I feel like you can. I feel like you are holding back everything from me."

Max looked at her finally with an emotion, and it was pure anger.

"Anna! You will NEVER see me for who I am, and just because you want something doesn't mean it will be given to you. I learned THAT over the years you were all so SAD."

Before Anna had a chance to speak, Max shot up and stared down at her desperately. "I just want to be left alone!!"

Max watched Anna silently stare at her for a moment before slowly standing up.

"I'm sorry . . . I'm so sorry."

Max backed down, but was still on edge.

"I can get a bit . . ." Anna began.

"Obnoxious," Max said with an emotionless smirk.

Anna smiled, but her face looked cold and irritated. "Okay. We'll go with that. I was going to lean more toward concerned, but that's fine."

Max knew Anna was trying to get her to smile, but little did she know, Max hadn't smiled since she was eleven years old. It was impossible to smile when you slowly disintegrated over the course of seven years. Nothing inside or outside of Max belonged to "Violet" anymore. Violet was nothing more than a memory, and would never be anything else.

"I'm not leaving," said Anna pointedly.

". . . what do you mean?" Max asked, confused.

"I mean, I'm not leaving this place. I live here now and you'll just have to be okay with that. I highly doubt my six roommates in the Bronx will miss me."

Max looked at Anna again like she was the crazy lady from the subway, and Max had no intention of allowing her to overstay her welcome even more.

"Sorry, but we're all out of space."

Anna's smile was wide and evil as Max watched her jump around and slam the door open.

"CHRIS! Anna here again, I'm going to be living here now and I'm truly hoping that you are with me on this one."

Max practically leaped out of her room. "Chris, I swear—"

"Yup!" he exclaimed. "I'm all about it."

Max and Chris stared at each other for what seemed like ages, Max intentionally giving him her best death stare.

"All righty, so it's settled then . . . welcome home, Anna!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Max saw Anna wave her hands like she was jazz dancing in A Chorus Line.

She and Chris moved their gazes to an excited Anna, with Max wondering if they could handle the positive energy about to creep into their dimly lit lives, but the decision had been made.

"Okay, roomies!" Anna said enthusiastically. "Where am I sleepin'?"

Max snorted and looked at Chris. "Well, she isn't sleeping with me! Not a chance." She squinted her eyes angrily at Chris while Anna turned his way.

"Hey! I guess we're going to get super close these next few months!"

Chris took a deep breath and let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, um, sure, okay. That's fine. Yeah, okay."

The girls raised their eyebrows simultaneously.

"You gonna be okay?" Max whispered over-dramatically.

He squinted his eyes, Max knowing full well that she'd embarrassed him. "YES. Yes I think I'll be quite all right, THANK you."

He looked at Anna and pointed to his door on the left side of the room. "I have a pull-out couch in there, I'll go set it up."

"Thank you so much, Chris!"

Max wondered how Anna could bounce around acting as though she was blissfully unaware of how bizarre this all was. All because of her ferocious inability to take no for an answer that she'd had since childhood.

"Hey, do you guys have water in here? I'm parched!" Anna squeaked, hopping into the dirty kitchen. "I'll be needing a shirt too, babe!" Max watched her wink back at her before opening the door to an almost empty fridge.

Max took a deep breath as she turned and headed straight for her room. She tossed the ugliest shirt she could find out the door as she locked herself in.

"Finally," she said, exasperated, as she closed her eyes and fell into a deep, much-needed sleep.